The Grandma/Grandpa group came through for me in a big way..

[MediumBrownDog]

The last two days have been temptation after temptation. On Thursday afternoon, I got the job offer I've been waiting for. It was all I had asked and much more. I was flattered, overjoyed, and, of course, in a celebratory mood. Where did my brain go? CHAMPAGNE! Of course! Even after all I've been through in the last few weeks, I actually had this weird argument with myself about "Oh, just a few glasses won't hurt, then you can go back to abstinence, but this is a REALLY BIG DEAL." I even mapped out a plan on how to convince my husband that it was okay. But at that point, I came up short. Clearly, if I was resorting to some elaborate argument to convince my husband to let me drink, whatever the reason, it was NOT okay. So I called the first Grandma on the list (they circulated a new contact list last meeting). Not home. Second Grandma -- not home. Third was a Grandpa. He was home, and he was delighted to hear from me. I told him what I was thinking, and he said "Well now. My wife and I just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. We had sparkling apple cider in the champagne glasses from our wedding. It didn't lessen our joy that we weren't dumping an addictive poison down our throats. Your celebration has nothing to do with alcohol. In fact, if you start drinking again, you will probably find that your good fortune deserts you. You can't start a new job with a hangover." Wow. I mean, wow. What perspective! Long and short, I didn't drink that night. We went out for a nice dinner at a seafood place with legendarily bad wine so I wouldn't be tempted. It was a great celebration without the booze.

Yesterday, my son and I went for our usual "mom and kid" lunch at the local pizza place. I almost always have a fat glass of pinot grigio with my greek salad during that Friday lunch. I had to sit in the parking lot, again talking myself out of that one glass ("just one, you can handle it"). Back to the Grandma and Grandpa phone tree. This time I got a Grandma, who said "Walk in, signal your usual waitress to come over, and say 'Hey, just iced tea today.' Nothing else is necessary, you don't owe anyone an explanation. Then call me back." She made it sound so simple, and that's exactly what I did. When I called back, she said "Now. There. Easy as pie. You didn't need that glass of wine, and you shouldn't be drinking in front of your child anyway." SLAP! OUCH! Sometimes the Grandmas are tough. (But she's right).

Today, our usual Saturday lunch out after errands. Another wine trigger. But, bless my husband, he got there before me and ordered us both bottles of San Pellegrino sparkling water and nice tall, frosted glasses with lime, which were on the table when I got there. And, truth be told, I was really thirsty after having gone to the garden center and Target etc. and that glass of cold Pellegrino was the most welcoming sight I'd ever seen. We didn't talk about wine or having it or not having it. It wasn't necessary.

So, my sober life continues with help. I am SO glad you guys pushed me to keep going to the meetings and to get phone numbers. I know, for sure, I would not have won those arguments with myself without help from the Grandma/Grandpa AAs.

Thanks for your support too. I wouldn't have gotten this far without the guidance and encouragement from all of you here in this group.

Much love -- MBD

[wildeyed]

1. Big cheer for the Grandmas and the Grandpas!

And you are helping them, too. Congrats on the new job!

[NMDemDist2]

2. dang MBD, way to use the tools offered! That's so great you called

FIRST!!

congratulations on the new job offer, it will be the first of many many miracles you will find in this new way of life. Stay close you your Grandmas and Grandpas, call them often and keep doing what you're doing!!

:yourock:

[NMDemDist2]

3. MBD, my hubby want's to give you a message

he's 20 years sober and wants to tell you:

"Welcome to the posse!

When we're out there drinking we are the Lone Ranger, cuz no one else feels like we do, or deals with what we 'have' to deal with. Left on our own, our mind will convince us that we can have 'just one' and that this situation is unique. Really! :rofl:

Now you've joined the posse, you don't have to do it alone and you don't have to let your head win. In the early days, your mind is a bad neighborhood and you shouldn't go in there by yourself!

One final note, no matter what comes up, no matter how different your head tells you it is (whatever "it" is), the call list will work just like it did this week.

Congratulations on your new job and your new life in sobriety!"

and those are the words of wisdom from my beloved Mr. Ketchup (and he's a pretty smart guy)

[Kajsa]

5. Hi AZ Dem!

He sure sounds like a smart guy! ;-)

I'm sorry I haven't been here for a few days-
My lower back injuries flared up then I pulled
a muscle on top of that.

That was over a week ago, but it's finally getting
better. Sitting or standing for more than 5-10 minutes
was difficult, then impossible.

But it's better now,and I'm really glad
to be back here!

I love this place!

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

6. Hey Kaj!

so sorry to hear about your back! glad it's doing better and you take it easy till it's healed OK?

I did miss you and glad to see you back, but give your back plenty of rest and breaks. Right? Right!

:pals:

[Kajsa]

7. You got it, AZ!

we do look out for each other.

;-) :pals:

[MediumBrownDog]

12. Tell your hubby thank you for his words of welcome and encouragement!

Tell him I printed his thoughts and added them to my "notebook." I have put together this little notebook of quotes and messages from my time in this group, plus stuff from the Grandmas/Grandpas (phone tree, thoughts from meetings), and I carry it in my purse. I take it out and look at it when I get shaky -- so you guys are always with me, even if I'm not at the computer. I know, it's geeky, but it works for me.

MBD

[NMDemDist2]

13. oh MBD! that's not geeky at all! Those are the actions of a winner

take it from me and hubby, we did the exact same thing and it worked for us!

I still carry a pocket sized Big Book in my purse all the time too, and I've got 15 years under my belt

I think I PMed you my phone number a couple weeks ago, I'd be honored to be added to you phone tree list

:hi:

[Kajsa]

4. Way to go- Yes!!!! Woohoo!!!!!

MBD, you've made my day!

I'm sooo glad you have your Grandma and Grandpa group!
You did all the right things!

Call First--You've got that one down!!

Keep up the good work and
Congrats on the new job!!

:hug: :woohoo: :yourock:

[Why Syzygy]

8. MBD .

:applause: Way to Go. What a sweetie of a dh. I used to blame other people for my drinking.
That got to be lame after I was left all alone.

After 58 days in Jan/Feb, in which I had no cravings, not even when I made a decision...
I'm now Here. I think we have the same sobriety date. 3/21/07? Your posts have been very meaningful for me.
I'm kind of riding on your coat tails. Hope you don't mind ;)

[NMDemDist2]

9. votes, my dear

:hug:

are you doing what MBD's doing? she's following directions like crazy and willing to try anything, go to any lengths (telling her hubby, going to meetings, calling the Grandmas etc etc) to stay sober

my dearest votes, I hope the same results and miracles in your life as we are seeing in MBD's

:pals:

[Why Syzygy]

10. Everyone knows about my problem.

No news there. I am being honest. I have been to recovery meetings and completely realized I need to be around other people in recovery. I think that is Step 2. We have our own brand of zaniness that the rest of the world seems to lack.
We also have had the same insanity.

But, no. I don't have a grandma/pa group yet. I was able to identify with MBD's temptations.
Though mine were never linked to occasions, this weekend I've had a fair amount of physical craving. But it's only day 11.
I plan to look again for a gm/gp group, or whatever applies.
I can't imagine living my life w/o people who understand me. And I them. :grouphug:

[NMDemDist2]

14. you know I'm pulling for ya Votes

:hug:

[MediumBrownDog]

11. Hi Votes! Our dates are pretty much the same.

took my last drink on the morning of 3/19, so I guess 3/20 is my first sober day. Coat tails? Heck, take my hand and we'll walk together. Maybe neither of us shaky folks will fall over!

My husband is wonderful. If anyone has the right to be pissed, he does. I lied to him, neglected him, and stuck him with caring for our son when I was too hungover to do so. I have totally nullified his hobby (collecting fine wines) and made him remove the wine from the house -- he's paying to have the rare bottles stored in the wine cellar of a local restaurant. But what does he do? Support me, 100%, and do things like he did yesterday to make me comfortable. He knew I didn't want to go to that restaurant yesterday and have that awkward moment with our usual waiter when he either asked which wine I wanted or simply brought a glass of my favorite to the table without asking. DH made sure that moment didn't happen. I think he is trying to show me that I can still live "our" life -- I just don't have to live it with alcohol.

You'll find a group. I've gotta tell you, old people rock. Not only do they pull no punches, but I've got that "respect your elders" feeling going where I would be SO ASHAMED to let them down.

You and I are headed for two weeks sober. Let's keep it up!

HUGS!

:hug: MBD