Don Imus vs Anne Richards

[NMDemDist2]

what a difference in the recovery of these two

Anne was a loving, funny gentle woman, Imus with 18 years and a pet children's charity but still hasn't learned to not to make a hurtful 'joke'

hmmmmmmm

think I'll go read the 12x12 some more.......


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Imus

[Justpat]

1. Funny that you should post this

I have been thinking a lot today about character defects. I realize the importance of doing
the forth step and acknowledging that without daily vigilance, those defects can come
roaring back in a instant.

I did a forth step in my first year of sobriety and have periodically done one when I feel
uneasy with myself. I know that I am the cause of my discomfort and that I have the tools
to change that.

And I use the tenth step a lot to keep my inner world humming along without too much
static.

We are not to take others inventory but I would suggest to Imus that he take his own
and see what fuels his racist, woman hating attitude. It is surely not in keeping with
a sober life to humiliate others for fun and profit.

[NMDemDist2]

2. we had a great meeting today from a reading in the 12x12 on the 7 Deadly Sins

seems to be the theme for the week eh?

but always remember, your worse defects can become your greatest assets if you use them correctly

[idgiehkt]

3. just a quick thought

I had the reverse happen...I used rigorous honesty in a situation and made an amend that left me greatly vulnerable and open to a whole lot of drama. Wow. It just struck me reading your post and thinking about the OP. I should have taken what I learned (that I later revealed) and walked away, I know that now. It is so hard, I struggle with applying the rigorous honesty because in real life sometimes it is downright stupid to be rigorously honest like that. I can't believe I am still having trouble discerning when it is appropriate. I'm not talking about lying instead, I'm talking about just not revealing everything...sigh.

[NMDemDist2]

4. the other thing to always remember is

some things are nobody's business!

:hide:

and the 3rd thing to remember is "Truth without Love is Brutality" and sometimes, it's yourself you have to love

:loveya:

[idgiehkt]

8. thanks for those very nice thoughts

:hug:

I just failed to protect myself, it was a lack of foresight...it was truth without 'self-love' for certain. Live and learn, I guess.

[Kajsa]

11. Hi Idgiehkt.

Remember the Ninth Step;

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Those founders were very smart.
Sometimes a well intended amend could do more harm than good.

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_information_aa.cfm?PageID=17&SubPage=68

:hug:

[idgiehkt]

12. The only person harmed because of that amend was me.

And only because the other party twisted the circumstances and made it look like I had admitted to something that I did not admit to. I have worked the steps more than once and always thought we were supposed to put our own circumstances or repercussion it might have on us aside. I honestly think that, reflecting back on it, I did not owe an amend in this situation. I didn't let go of the situation because I didn't want to let go of it, which really has nothing to do with the ninth step. What happened was that my amend was taken and twisted into something else entirely and used against me...the fact that I was involved with a person who would do such a thing speaks volumes about my codependency, which I've shared about in here before. I am realizing that this is ACOA and CODA stuff that I continually trip up on. AA really doesn't go into this stuff in enough depth. I am so *here*, I found this list on another website last night.

13 Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics or Addicted Parents

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.

2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.

3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.

5. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun.

6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.

7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships.

8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.

9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.

10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.

11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.

12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.

13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

[Kajsa]

13. This is very familar territory.

I'm an ACA, also.

The list of characteristics is very accurate!

[idgiehkt]

5. Thanks for that contrast

I had no idea that Ann Richards was a recovering alcoholic...I loved her 'appearance' on 'King of the Hill'. I will be lucky if I have her poise when I am older, plus she was funny as all get out.

Imus I do not care for. There are some hard-asses in recovery, that is for sure, that's why they say some are sicker than others, I guess. I didn't know he was recovering either. I don't care for his stance of 'rightness' that I see sometimes people of that political persuasion having. People seem to watch because they feel comforted by his assurance of his 'rightness'. Everyone wants that comfort. Living without it is an incredibly brave thing to do, though...like a program friend of mine used to say, 'not every pot can stand the heat of the kiln'. Some people like Imus just can't take uncertainty or the appearance of it, and they adopt that rigid posture. It's a weak stance in my book though. Sorry to judge, just telling it how I see it.

[FloridaJudy]

6. I Loved Ann Richards!

When I first got into Recovery, I seriously thought about making a sign that said "WWARD?" She showed me that I could stop drinking without turning into a humorless stiff. I cried when I heard she had died.

I never knew Imus was one of us. He must be working an awfully shaky program. When I see reprehensible folks like him claiming to be recovering, I want to yell "Sit down and shut up! You're giving the rest of us alcoholics a bad name!" I could say worse, but I'll try for restraint of tongue and pen (and keyboard).

[NMDemDist2]

7. funny, your quote was the exact thing my hubby said

:rofl:

[wildeyed]

9. I *thought* he looked like a drunk.

Or drugs, I wasn't sure which. He also looks like one miserable SOB.

[Kajsa]

10. Hi AZ Dem!

I had no idea that Imus was in recovery!

Personally, I'm glad that info isn't out there.

He reminds me of the old AA saying,

" sometimes, when an A-Hole sobers up,

all you have is a sober A-Hole".

Thankfully, that's more of an exception than the rule.

:hi: