13 Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics or Addicted Parents

[idgiehkt]

I just posted this in a post elsewhere but it really deserves it's own thread.

13 Characteristics of Adult Children

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1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.

2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.

3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.

5. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun.

6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.

7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships.

8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.

9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.

10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.

11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.

12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.

13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.


My parents are not alcoholic, but they have other addictions and problems and I had at least one grandparent who was alcoholic. I think this list could apply to just about anyone from a dysfunctional family. #3 and #9 don't resonate with me so much, I am an honest person, even though before I got sober I probably wasn't, nor do I seek approval very much, I am pretty self-directed and a loner. #12 is something I've struggled with my entire life, giving my loyalty out to people and then being betrayed. Anyway, it's tough to read this and identify with so much of it, but at the same time it can make you feel a little less alienated; that's what it did for me. I attended ACOA in the past and I loved that fellowship, it looks like I need to go back there.

[SPKrazy]

1. I think that these could also called the characteristics of children

from families of dysfunction, especially where there is narcissism in one or both parents and the family system is built around protecting them.

Good post

:pals:

[Kajsa]

2. Good posts all around.

I can identify with a number of the characteristics,
being both an ACA and an AAer.

Good point, Southpaw.
These characteristics apply to any dysfunctional family where
the fortress of " don't ask-don't tell" was the rule, not the exception.

It gives a whole different meaning to that term.

:pals:

[NMDemDist2]

3. this helped me understand my total PITA co-worker

now I get to try and practice page 67 of the BB

sigh....

[libodem]

4. thanks for the info

My family is full of alcoholics and drunks. I'm not perfect either.