How can I help my brother?

[bicentennial_baby]

He called this morning. Got a DUI last night. He was sobbing, he's embarrassed, devastated, really beating himself up about it. My Mom had to pick him up...He's 25. I talked to him about going to meetings, etc. I'm going to call him back later once he's calmed down some. I told him to take the dog for a long walk, and to try and see the bright side. He's learned a lesson, nobody got hurt, and now is his chance to turn his life around.

So, any suggestions? I'm 100 miles away, so it'll have to be long-distance help.

[NMDemDist2]

1. does he want to stop drinking or is he just bummed he got caught?

the answer to that will be a big indicator

[bicentennial_baby]

2. Not bummed, horrified.

He is so embarassed and upset about doing this to my parents. My 63 y.o. Mom had to come get him at jail. He feels like absolute crap. He wants to get sober, told me that he has an addictive personality, and that he wants therapy too. He's already quit cigs, cut way back on the weed, and now he wants to quit booze. Alcoholism is a big undercurrent in our family, at least on my Dad's side.

When my brother calls me, sobbing, I know it's bad. :(

I've given him lots of suggestions. Meetings, getting back to hiking with the dogs, going back to school, reading his Bible (he used to be Born Again), etc...I just can't stand to hear him in so much anguish.

[NMDemDist2]

3. you can't fix his feelings, only he can do that

sounds like you did fine so just tell him you love him and offer to help in anyway you can.

he has to do the rest :hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

4. Can you give me some direction as to what

he needs to do? I just want to be able to give the best suggestions. :)

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

5. check your PM n/t

[demosincebirth]

7. Tell him to go to a lot of mtgs and don't drink in between

Simple enough.

[FloridaJudy]

6. You can't help someone until he/she is ready for it

Just be there for your mom and your brother. I have a feeling he's going to have to be going to meetings soon. It's SOAP for DUI's. A few words of encouragement if he acts balky can help: explain how you have benefited from attendance. There's not a heck of a lot else that you can do.

Your brother's problems are just one of those "things you cannot change".