Hurting

[varkam]

I'm not doing so good. I've been struggling with depression for the past year or so, and this past week has been particularly difficult. I won't go into details, but a major legal decision didn't go the way I was hoping (and the way my lawyer was thinking) it would go, and so now I have to face some pretty severe consequences because of my addiction.

I'm trying not to harbor resentment at the state or anyone else, because that just brings me down into my addiction. Also, I'm just trying to look at it all as a consequence of my behavior regardless of who is right and wrong. I'm sure if we all got to choose our consequences, none of us would of ever hit bottom.

But I am still sober. I very much wanted to get sucked back into my addiction this past weekend, but I didn't. I'm now over two months of continued sobriety. The way I see it, I can cling to my program and my sobriety regardless of what else is happening in my life. Even if the roof comes down around my ears, I can still say that, at the end of the day, I am sober today. Plus, if I let my sobriety lose importance in my life then everything else loses it's importance as well.

Thanks for letting me share.

[NMDemDist2]

1. I'm sorry dear

:hug:

good on you for hanging on, and let me share that sometimes the things that look like very bad news at first end up being a blessing (and vice versa)

Hang in there, I'm thinking of you and sending good vibes your way.

:hug:

[mtowngman]

2. hey varkam

thanks for sharing
I don't know a thing except for what I hear from other recovering people-an old sponsor used to say "there's no problem so bad that a drink or drug can't make it worse"
we're living in today, bro
thanks again
m
:pals:

[Kajsa]

3. I'm so sorry Varkam,

Sometimes things come crashing down on us.

That happened to me recently with work and it's VERY
crazy making.It's costing me jobs.


And I mean full on, WTH Crazy making!!
The committee and the disease are at attention,
just waiting to rush into action.

Good for you that you've recognized this and
didn't go there.

One of the sayings I heard that really hit home was,
" If you drink (use), you'll wake up with the same problems
AND hungover, and all the pain that goes with it."

THAT always rings the reality bell for me.

Hang in there- it will get better.

:hug: