January 1st, 2008

[varkam]

This evening I rung in the New Year with my parents. My mother half asleep on the couch, and my father and I laughing at Kathy Griffin joking with Anderson Cooper on CNN. I said to my father that I would sure be glad to see this year go. He nodded and said that "It sure has been a rough one." He's right. It has. I hit bottom with my addiction late last year, but many of the consequences waited until '07 to hit me. Perhaps the biggest of them was pleading guilty to a felony and, for a few months, wondering whether or not I was going to spend the next several years in prison.

I'm sure glad that is all over.

But then I got to thinking, just as the ball was dropping - what is it that I was thankful for this year? As it turns out, I'm thankful for pretty much all of it...even the felony on my record.

I'm thankful for my ex-fiance, who stuck with me through all of it (we split up for unrelated reasons, though we are still good friend). She taught me so very much about patience and honesty. I'm thankful for my parents, who supported me even when they were talking to me on the detention center phone. They have taught me about compassion and acceptance. I'm thankful for my friends, who have always been there for me and just wanted to see me get help. They taught me about what being a friend really means - not like some sham friend that I have been for so long. Oddly enough, I'm even thankful for going through the legal system as it solidified for me that actions have consquences.

I am also thankful for my program, and the people in it. I am thankful for recovery.

Looking back on the past 365 days, I truly am humbled by the kindness, love, and generosity that has been shown to me even during the times that I thought were "bad". It turns out though that there weren't really any bad times, because so much good came out of the bad times.

All that being said, I really don't think it's been a bad year. I'm neither glad nor sad to see it go, because I've got another year right here and now - filled with who knows what. All I'll try to do is approach it with an open mind, an open heart, and take it one day at a time.

Happy New Year, everyone. :pals:

[Kajsa]

1. Happy New Year, Varkam.

What a beautiul tribute to your past year, and your sobriety.

Varkam, you went through some very rough times, yet
you saw the positive in every situation. That's somethng
many people can't do. It speaks volumes about who you are.

As I've said before, you are a shining example of the program
in action! You've worked very hard to get where you are.

I'm very happy that we are friends.

Happy New Year of new experiences, my dear friend.

:hug: :toast:

[varkam]

2. Thank you for your kind words

Though I have to admit that I feel I don't deserve them. I'm only here because of the wisdom, compassion, and generosity of others. If I hadn't had recovery, good family and friends, or even this place...well, I doubt very much I'd be here right now.

Thank you again for your kind words :pals: I'm happy that we are friends as well