Checking in

[varkam]

I thought I should post something here. I've been depressed for the past little bit, and while I haven't slipped I have had some slippery thinking, and I know that I've used my addiction in order to cope with feelings of sadness (among other things). Overall I'm doing pretty well with my recovery, though it still is and probably will always be a day to day grind. Compared with how I was before I hit bottom...well it's pretty much night and day, but it could be better...it could always be better.

So right now I'm just trying to relax with my feelings, trying to make friends with the pain and the suffering as opposed to running away from them. Not that I particularly like these feelings, but they are in me (for the moment, anyway) and pushing them away, for me anyway, is destructive. I just ask for the strength to be able to do that.

[NMDemDist2]

1. relaxing into the feelings...

I used to do a meditation where I 'named' the feeling, over and over. In time, they lost their power over me, they had almost become 'old friends' and the fear of the feeling was gone.

follow that with a gratitude list every day and you may find things start turning around.

they did for me anyway, YMMV

:hi:

:pals:

[TrogL]

2. Where are you in the steps?

A lot of my depression went away when I did my amends.

[varkam]

3. I've been through all the steps once.

I'm going back through them again, currently working the 4th.

[elleng]

4. How does thinking about your future,

in law school, affect your feelings? Well, I hope.

Thinking of you.

E

[Kajsa]

5. It's tough dealing with those feelings and anxiety.

Those are things I tried to blot out with alcohol and drugs.

When I feel overwhelmed by them ( what IS moderation, anyway?- I'M SERIES, FOLKS!)
I remember they will pass and try to talk to a fellow sister or brother in recovery.
They know what that is like and can help.

Another twist on the pain thing is - remember when we couldn't feel ANYTHING?

Like my dad use to say, " it blocked out the bad AND the good stuff in life".

That always helped me, Varkam.

Take good care of yourself, my friend.

:hug: