First AA meeting=disaster

[elshiva]

1. In a church building= I hate church

2. Too much talk about God, ick after all I've been through lately.

3. Saw Rev. Gayshouldnotbepriests who I hate

4. Groups I hate groups

5. People telling horrible stories about their lives= scares the fuck out of me

6. felt trapped, wedged between two people


Two women took me to the meeting and they were nice, but too much. One kept insisting that "the AA god is a different kind of god." Yeah, right...

Basically, embarassed myself in front of 20 people, crying and moaning in pain. Afterwards, I just wanted to yell.

Sorry, but I don't think I am ever going to another meeting ever.

[NMDemDist2]

1. yeah, some groups really push the Christian God thing. I avoid them like the plague

but thankfully not all meetings are like that, in fact most aren't

one of my favorite meetings was held in a Metaphysical Bookstore.

you need help and support, this isn't something you can easily do on your own. keep looking for something that will give you that.

[Kajsa]

2. Meetings can differ a lot, Elshiva.

I know we all follow the same steps and traditions,
but some meetings are not for me.

Whatever the reason is,

-there's someone there taking my focus off the program,

-- they are playing fast and loose with the traditions,

I avoid those meetings.

As far as the God thing- you know you're in the right place
when you hear, " a higher power is one of your understanding"
Your HP can be anything greater than yourself.

We are deadly serious about this because
without Step 2. Step 3 can't happen.

Keep checking out different meetings.
If churches aren't for you right now-
pick one that meets in another setting.

:hug:

[Justpat]

3. A couple of thoughts.

Most of us came to AA sick and crazy, crying and in pain. Don't think you embarrassed yourself
by being in pain at an AA meeting.

If someone in a meeting pushes god on you, go to another meeting. AA is a spiritual program
where you are free to choose your own god, or no god at all, as you see fit.

You are not asked to love groups - just be part of one for an hour a day in an effort to
save your ass.

Don't worry about Rev Gayshouldnotbepriests. He has his own program to work and if
he does it, he'll get better too.

Find a good sponsor that you like and try another meeting.


Best of luck to you. Hang in there, We all do it a day at a time. OB

[varkam]

4. I'm an atheist *and* a 12-stepper.

I have my conception of a higher power that works for me, though it certainly isn't anything metaphysical. The point is that you are able to define for yourself what "god" means. Groups that don't allow that, IMO, aren't following the traditions.

[dsc]

5. As people above me said

there are many forms of AA. I hope you find the one that works for you. If you are gay, many areas have AA meetings for gays. If you are agnostic, I would think you can find some much less religious ones. There are many groups out there. Keep looking.

[KitchenWitch]

6. Are there any GLBT AA groups near you?

You might feel more "at home" there.

[TrogL]

7. Read ppg 43-46 of the Big Book

and even then take it with a grain of salt.

People's concept of "God as we understand him" varies wildly. Examples I've encountered included:

• the family dog
  
• the stairs and/or doorknob of the meeting room
  
• Jungian archetypes
  
• Good Orderly Direction
  
• the group itself
  

People need to remember that Bill W. based his comprehension of Higher Power on William James The Varieties of Religious Experience - not any one religious text.

Don't let anybody tell you what "God" is.

[NMDemDist2]

8. my first higher power was a 6 foot tall invisible rabbit

yes, a poohka

I set him in the passenger seat of my truck and screamed at him on a daily basis.

:shrug:

it worked.

the other thing I did was what an old timer suggested. he told me if I didn't have a God to use his. and whether I believed or not, just do the action each morning of asking his God to keep me sober that day and every night thanking his God for another day sober.

I was desperate and willing to try anything, no matter how ridiculous, so every morning I woke up and said out loud "Dear Neil B's God, keep me sober today" and every night before I dropped off to sleep I'd say "Dear Neil B's God, thank you for another sober day"

no "hitting my knees" no "Amen" no clasped hands. Just those two sentences.

and I stayed sober, day after day.

for 16 years now........

[Critters2]

14. Actually, when I was at my most depressed, it was my pets

that kept me going. I knew I had to get out of bed and go to work in order to care for them, if not myself.

Whatever works!

[FloridaJudy]

9. The "God" bit rubbed me wrong too

I'd always associated it with the Really Scary Old White Dude on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. My own concept of a Higher Power is a bit more amorphous, but if I had to anthropomorphize it she'd be a Little Old Asian Lady, since I've always been attracted to Quan Yin - the Bodhisattva of Compassion.

You absolutely don't have to accept anyone else's spiritual guidelines. I've met Agnostic and even aggressively Atheist AA members who've made the program work for them, and no one tries to persuade them that it can't.

If you're uncomfortable with that group, try another. As others have suggested, maybe a GLBT group would meet your needs better. There are some meetings I avoid because they're dominated by the kind of people who think they have All The Answers (me? I'm still trying to frame the appropriate questions). Not all AA groups are alike: I'm sure you can find one that's right for you. Just try a few others.

It's possible to get sober in other ways, but having a bunch of people who'd already done it and made it stick guide me through it made it much easier for me and, like you, I don't care for groups or a lot of God talk.

[MediumBrownDog]

10. Sounds like my first meeting

I thought I was going to fall off that rickety folding chair and I couldn't breathe because everyone was wedged in so closely. It was one of the worst hangovers of my life and I thought I was going to puke on my shoes in front of everyone. The coffee smells don't help == I hate coffee.

However, after several tries I did find a group that worked for me. They're almost all held in churches because the facilities are free, can't help you there. I don't go to every meeting, but I go when I need to.

As for the Higher Power thing, whatever works. I'm not a big believer, but mine is "God...whoever you are...please help me." God could be a space alien, the moon, nature, whatever. I've learned not to be hung up on the term.

Hope this helps. I've fallen off the wagon more times than I care to count, but I'm still around and sobriety is starting to stick for me. It's hard in my profession (law) because everyone seems to be a professional alcoholic and proud of it.

Much love.

MBD

[NMDemDist2]

11. it's so GREAT to see you!!

:pals:

[Kajsa]

12. Hi MBD!

I'm so glad to see you, too!

:pals:

[FloridaJudy]

13. Hey! Welcome back!

I missed hearing from you. I'm glad sobriety is starting to stick.

And it does get easier.

[old mark]

15. This was posted over a month ago...

...I hope you went to another meeting, or at least stayed sober for that time.
You will hate this, but it is very common for new people to find things to hate about AA. I hope you were able to get through this and find a meeting you can live with. I have to tell you I didn't like a lot of the meetings, but I tried to get to a lot of different ones and gradually found a few that were tollerable.

Even a shitty meeting beats the hell out of being a dead drunk.

All the best,


mark

[TrogL]

16. I hated my first group

The meeting room was filthy, noisy, crowded full of smoke. People threw up, I found half-full bottles of vodka in the garbage, I had to break up a fight, throw out homeless people who wanted to crash overnight, deal with the police, and I damn near killed one guy who kept harrasing women.

Nevertheless there was solid sobriety there, I made new friends and together we cleaned up the place. I've moved on to support other failing groups and started a new one of my own, but I still go back there so I can hit some meetings that I'm not in charge of.