So how do you handle this?

[FloridaJudy]

This is the second time I've encountered this situation in a meeting. Tonight my home group had a newcomer with just a few days of sobriety. Toward the end of the meeting, she started talking about suicide: not the every week crap my family members used to pull - "do what I want or I'll kill myself" - but the kind of talk that makes you feel like ice water is dripping down the back of your neck. She was totally serious, and even had a plan.

At the end of the meeting, I gave her my phone number with instructions to call no matter what time "I'm a chronic insomniac, so I'll probably already be awake". True statement, and even more so after that meeting.

I don't know what else one can do, but I'm really creeped out tonight. Perhaps I just need to commune with my Zen player and some Holly Near. Or start some totally frivolous thread in the Lounge.

[varkam]

1. Unfortunately, I don't think that there is much that you can do.

I think that you did all that you can do - just give her a number and tell her to call if she needs anything. Given the anonymous nature of these meetings, it might be difficult to do any more. All you can do is ask for the serenity to accept the things that you cannot change. In the end, people make their own choices and there isn't a whole hell of a lot that you can do to change that.

[Stuart G]

6. If she calls, and agrees..take her to the emergancy room.

Ask her on the phone, after listening for a while. "Are you willing to go to the Emergency Room?"..If not, than there really is nothing you can do, except the following: Call the police or fire department..tell them, they will go. and as varkam says" perople make their own choices and there isn't a whole hell of a lot that you can do to change that.." Then, let it go..they are more trained to act than you..

..In program, people got to want to change, to change. With help of HP, yes, otherwise very difficult. And you cannot feel responsible for these types.. Good luck

[KitchenWitch]

2. You have done what you can.

Let the outcome go.

:hug:

Just be ready for the 3 AM phone call.

[TrogL]

3. you are not trained to deal with this situation

If someone's gone to the realistic planning stage, it's time to call the men in white coats. Been there, somebody did that and I thanked them afterwards.

[FloridaJudy]

4. Yeah

Much as I am grateful to this program, I sometimes wonder if we haven't be doing any favors by promoting the "I'd rather die than drink again" mentality. There are some folks for whom that's an attractive option, and drinking will kill you eventually, but not as fast as jumping in front of a train. A lot of women at that meeting (it was an all women group) gave her their phone numbers, the number of the Crisis Hotline, and advice to seek outside help.

One does one's best, and hopes for a benign outcome. It's all we can do.

[Kajsa]

5. Judy, you've done what you can do.

As TrogL stated, she needs professional help at this stage.

I learned the hard way that I was totally powerless over my ex's behavior.

He had a similar story, but fortunately he never acted on it.

You are a good lady, Judy.
She knows she can reach out to you.

:hug: