the Alternate 12 steps and their Promises

[NMDemDist2]

from the nice folks at Just Pass It On MSN group
http://groups.msn.com/justpassiton/rule62aahumor.msnw

12 Steps To Destruction

1) I stated that I could hold my liquor and was master
of my life.

2) Believed I was sane and rational in every respect.

3) Decided to run my own life and be successful in all
my undertakings.

4) Made a thorough and searching inventory of my
fellow man and found him lacking.

5) Admitted to no one, including God and myself, that
there was anything wrong with me.

6) Sought through alcohol to remove my shortcomings
and responsibilities and to escape the realities of life.

7) Got drunk to remove these shortcomings.

8) Made a list of all persons who had harmed me, whether real or
imaginary, and swore to get even.

9) Got ever whenever possible, except when to do so would further
injure me.

10) Continued to find fault with the world and the
people in it, and when I was right, promptly admitted it.

11) Sought through lying, cheating and stealing to improve myself
materially at the expense of my fellow man, asking only the means to
get drunk and stay drunk.

12) After having a complete moral, physical and spiritual breakdown as
a result of this kind of living, I tried to drag those who were dear to me
down to my level and practiced these reasoning's in all my affairs.



The Promises of Alcoholism

1. If we are casual with this phase of our development,
we will be drunk before we are halfway through.

2. We are going to know a new imprisonment and a
new misery.

3. We will relive the past and won't be able to shut the
door on it.

4. We will comprehend the word CONFLICT and we
will know PAIN.

5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone,
we'll sink even lower.

6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will deepen.

7. We will gain interest in selfish things and lose interest
in our fellows.

8. Self esteem will slip away.

9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will SUCK.

10. Fear of people, and of economic insecurity will multiply.

11. We will intuitively know how to run from situations, which never used
to bother us.

12. We will suddenly realize that God would never have done to us what
we are doing to ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not!
They are being fulfilled amongst us every day
--sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

[Justpat]

1. That perfectly describes me pre AA. n/t

[NMDemDist2]

2. hi OB!!!!

you still in the kitchen??

:hug:

[Justpat]

3. I am still in the kitchen!

But I have gained ten pounds. :cry:

[Kajsa]

4. HI OB!

What are you doing in the kitchen?

I'm REALLY asking, cos I don't know.

:) :hi:

[Justpat]

8. Hi Kajsa!

AZDem was trying to help me learn to cook. She gave pep talks and recipes. It worked.
Now I'm a better cook and a size larger.

[Kajsa]

9. OB, I have the same problem,

but my cooking skills haven't improved one bit.

:(

[Justpat]

10. Get some of AZDem's recipes.

She'll fix you right up.

[Kajsa]

11. Will do!

:pals:

[NMDemDist2]

7. amazing what eating regular will do eh?

good on you for sticking with it!!

:hug:

[Kajsa]

5. A great road map of active alcoholism!

9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will SUCK.

:) Yep, that was me alright!

Thanks, AZDem.

:) :pals:

[Kajsa]

6. I love this one!

( I just clicked on the link)

"Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all beer containers:

1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.
6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. "

:rofl: :rofl:

[Justpat]

12. uh...about #6,

Been there - done that.

Ouch. I remember that too well.

I spent so much time on the floor as a practicing alcoholic that when I sobered
up I had to learn to walk all over again.

[Kajsa]

13. Me too,OB.

I had lots of problems with 2,3,7, and 8 also.

" No Kajsa, you can not jump off the lifeguard
station without breaking something!"

I broke my ankle- one of many times.

[FloridaJudy]

14. 9. The consumption of alcohol

May cause you to post shit on the Internet that will really turn around and bite you.

I think a few people in the other forums could benefit from this warning - not that I'm taking anyone else's inventory... :evilgrin:

[Kajsa]

15. Yessireesir!

A few have even admitted to being drunk while posting.

That's a PUI- :evilgrin:

:)