never started my own post before; wanna make sureit gets to right forum

[abq e streeter]

[abq e streeter]

1. Good, now.... doing well in some ways yet still have addictive acting out that's undermining

everything, even though its not apparent to anyone but myself as far as I know...but I KNOW IT...probably need meetings; not sure I can do that yet, but not sure I can salvage my life any other way. Seeing counselor tomorrow and have been talking to him about that ...could use a kind/encouraging word or prayer etc.

[elleng]

2. You'll get those here.

Salaam Shalom

[abq e streeter]

6. thank you for the greetings of peace

it means a lot to me to know there are complete strangers who care. Peace to you too, Elleng......abq e streeter

[Kajsa]

3. Tell your counselor what you told us here.

You knowing it and admitting to having a problem
is a big step in the right direction.

Good luck tomorrow and please let us know what
happened, OK?

I'll be checking in from time to time tomorrow as
it's the big family dinner thing at my house.

:: :pals:

[abq e streeter]

5. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply

I did talk to him about this stuff today including the fact that I'd reached out to people on this forum. he actually has seen so much growth in other areas since we started working together that only recently has he been aware that these issues were still great enough to be potentially undermining everything else I've accomplished with him.......But today was a productive , positive day which ranged from a killer workout in the gym to seeing an old friend ( and briefly girlfriend) for the first time in over 25 years tonight and having a wonderful visit with her ( just got back)......But its usually ( not always but usually) the lonely hours late at night when I get weak, but tonight I'm just going to answer the other person that also was kind enough to reply to me, read a little more DU and go to sleep. tomorrow...who knows? one day at a time. Thank you for caring about a complete stranger-----abq e streeter

[Kajsa]

10. It sounds like you had a good day all around. :-)

Remember, we all go through those bouts of loneliness
and self doubt from time to time.

We have tools to cope with this, and you'll find those in
the steps and going to meetings.

As we say,

you are a stranger here but once,

ie. you are no longer a stranger, you are one of us.

:hug:

[Duncan Grant]

4. I hope your meeting with your counselor went well and that you got what you needed for today.

There are many people here (and in meetings) that can share their experience, strength and hope with you. Hope you'll check back in and keep reaching out. :)

[abq e streeter]

7. thank you for the kind words

I will be checking back in/reaching out......and hopefully the experience, strength and hope of others who've been there will help me to successfully do whatever my counselor and I decide is the best course of action to take to get spiritually healthy......abq e streeter

[NMDemDist2]

8. hey man

:hug:

we all have our demons, you can wrestle and win I know

:hug:

[abq e streeter]

12. Thanks for the encourging words

(not sure if you remember that I was one of the DUers at that very small meetup at The Range in Bernalillo). Been wrestling awhile, but not enough, and I think I'm ready to do what it takes; whether it ultimately entails resuming meetings etc after many years or not will be a joint decision by my counselor and I , but whatever it takes... And if that's what we come to decide it will take, I'll do it, or whatever strategies we decide will be the most successful...Thanks again for your kind words.

[NMDemDist2]

15. of course I remember

:hug:

After I left you, as you know, my tranny blew up in ALQ and while bored in the motel room I called the local intergroup office and two nice folks came and got me and took me to a meeting.

A total stranger, they were glad to be of service and I met about 20 nice folks there out of a meeting of over 100 people.

AA is amazing. Hope you find your way to the greatest good for your path.

:pals:

[abq e streeter]

16. oh yeah,that's right---forgot about your blown transmission etc.

glad you got to a meeting. Alcohol isn't my issue, but have several friends whose lives have been saved by joining AA....and in fact had a friend do his 9th step with me a few weeks ago. This caring and support from the people on DU to me has been very much appreciated and I'm a little more confident tonight ( a little) that I'll find the right path to be healed.....I know it won't be easy, but I finally understand there's no alternative to dealing with the demons .

[Justpat]

9. You came to the right place - for now.

There are kind words and prayer in abundance that we addicts have for one another.

We also have meetings and the steps to help us recover and reach out to others.



Try to do take the suggestion of the steps and keep your problems and painful feelings
confined to the moment. We can handle anything today.


Hope you are feeling better today.

[abq e streeter]

13. Again,thanks for the encouraging words

feeling good today;outside of the fact that I feel beat up from overdoing my workout with a personal trainer I just started working with. But that's part of the weird thing about this aspect of my addictive acting out; no one who knows me would ever guess what I'm struggling with; on the outside it seems like I'm at the top of my game , so to speak. As I said above, it may come to doing meetings and doing the steps and it may not, but I MUST get spiritually well and if it takes going through the steps again after all these years, I will do that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring....

[Stuart G]

11. 12 Step meetings are the right place for you

Try AA, if that is to frightening for you then....
.try EA..Emotions Anonymous..or CODA..Co Dependant Anonymous. These could help you to deal with your acting out, and the thinking behind it. Don't give up, the 12 Steps can change your life, as they have changed mine:grouphug: In a moment I will post a link for EA and CODA

Emotions Anonymous:

http://www.emotionsanonymous.org

CODA ..Co Dependants Anonymous

http://www.codependents.org/

[abq e streeter]

14. once again, thank you so much for the words of enouragement, and for caring about a stranger

My counselor and I will be deciding together what is the best course of action to get well. It may very well be meetings and the 12 steps. Whatever we decide, I am committed to getting well. Thanks again; it helps to know there are people I'll never meet who still cared enough to take the time to reply to me.

[abq e streeter]

17. Checking in---

admitted to a friend what I'm dealing with, in sort of vague terms, but I'm very sure he understood....and helped to make some significant movement towards removing some of the "triggers" from my environment. Can't be more specific yet, but it was one of the things my counselor and I discussed as major steps towards healing. I know this was awfully vague but I'm not comfortable with anything but being vague right now. I'm moving in the right direction though.... thanks SO MUCH for the encouragement I've gotten here....

[abq e streeter]

18. I think any last vestiges of denial of my illness are coming to an end

I'm seeing my counselor on Tuesday, will admit to him how utterly powerless I'm realizing I am, and do whatever needs to be done. Have PM'd one DUer in recovery tonight and asked Varkam ( self- identified in his own posts as a sex addict) if I may PM him too. I can't let this sickness rule my life anymore. Thanks once again for the support I received from those of you who responded to my OP. abq e streeter

[IndyOp]

19. The way to healing is to find a way to be grateful for the disease -

contact as many people as you need to contact, use your phone lists, go to 90 meetings in 90 days or more, if you can push through to the point at which you feel grateful for the disease because it can lead you to a new way of life then you will have made the breakthrough that you need.

I've been hitting a lot of meetings, doubling- and tripling- up on my literature reading time, and working with my sponsor and although I am feeling lost, I am feeling grateful for the support I am getting. In the past, that has been key for me.

:hug:

[abq e streeter]

20. Been putting it off again and again, thinking I can control it

but I can't ,and I am 100% certain that I will be going to a meeting ASAP...there's none in my city till Sunday night, but may try to find one saturday such as AA or NA, even these are not issues with me, just to get the ball rolling. I will not have internet access for awhile either, its necessary that I not, at least at the beginning.... Thanks everyone who wrote words of encouragement. I'll be back in touch before to long, but not for a little while at least... thank you all again.........Ron

[Justpat]

21. Keep in touch

All the best to you on your sober journey.


:hug:

[abq e streeter]

22. Have finally started attending meetings; thanks again to everyone who encouraged me here

[NMDemDist2]

23. good deal man

:hug:

[Kajsa]

24. That excellent news,AES!

Hang in there, it DOES get better.

:hug:

[Justpat]

25. Thanks for checking in.

Glad to hear that you started meetings.



:hi:

[get the red out]

26. Meetings aren't so bad

Good job on taking care of yourself! Meetings are good, I like them as long as I keep in mind that everybody else in the room is just a sick person working on getting well just like I am (even if they act like they don't know it). Every human being has stuff on their plate, my main course just happened to be alcoholism. So I got help and it worked. It isn't always easy but then what is? I have met a lot of interesting folks in meetings over the past 16 years that I wouldn't have met otherwise and their perspectives have added to my life.

I am glad I finally got off my dead behind and ponied up to DU so I could post in groups! I have been a consummate lurker. There are some great groups on here.