DU'ers who are in Al Anon, please check in here.

[raccoon]

Is there any problem in your area with people sticking to the Conference Approved Literature?

There sure is in mine.

Your experience?

[IndyOp]

1. Al Anon! Yes! Me!

Problems sticking with CAL? Not for the most part. Our local groups vary in format -- one, in particular, allows some crosstalk.

I may have been the most recent case of crossing the line re: CAL in my home group and I got called on it. I brought in lyrics from Mary Chapin-Carpenter songs and lots of people liked it, but a few spoke out and said they were uncomfortable with the non-CAL material. In any case, I thought it was a great meeting because people spoke out about their discomfort, although I certainly had no intention of making anyone uncomfortable. We've had people bring in little sayings on slips of paper in the past and everyone pulls one out of a hat and we discuss. I had thought that some of those types of meetings had sayings that were non-CAL, so I thought my song lyrics were okay. Lots of people said they liked the meeting, but I will be more careful in future.

Have you called for a group conscience meeting?

:hug:

[raccoon]

4. Glad to hear some people spoke up.

I'm thinking about a group conscience meeting.

[MrsBrady]

2. what problems with CAL?

some groups have a problem with using some AA lit, which I think is BS (my opinion).
But most Al-anon groups (if they are really working it, again in my opinion), use at least the Big Book along with the Al-anon stuff.
I don't really see a problems with mentioning in passing something you read somewhere. But if someone is using a book for a meeting, that would be another issue.

However, groups have autonomy, and can use something outside if it's been approved by a group meeting...but I don't know if I would want to be a part of that group.
I don't think it would be al-anon at that point.

What's exactly going on?

[raccoon]

3. Somebody using this reading about letting go,

http://www.community4me.com/LETGO.html

Somebody doing the program and reading poetry that he wrote.

The chairperson talking about the AA 3rd step Prayer, and requesting somebody read it. A woman who has been in Al Anon a long time obligingly read it. (I guess we disagree on that--I don't see using AA stuff in Al Anon.)

I've spoken out before, but dammit, I get tired of being the heavy all the time and others sit there like the cat got their tongue.

I’m thinking of doing a program on the lyrics of one of the Beach Boy songs. :silly:

I’m thinking about asking for a group conscience meeting. I’m checking it out with some people beforehand, because I don’t want to fight this battle alone. BTDT.

[Citizen_Penn]

5. If speaking out at group conscience doesn't work, call

your district rep or the WSO (world service)

our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern.

But some groups fall into a rut, and the same people do the same thing for so long - they forget Al Anon and practice their distortion. The two greatest obstacles to group harmony are dominance and discussion of religion. Unfortunately, I've learned, it is virtually impossible for some 'true believers' to grasp that not everyone shares their religion. So, they don't see it as religion - they see it as TRUTH. I try to practice tolerance those with so limited a scope. Sometimes, I'm more successful than at others.

I salute you for speaking up, and urge you to persist.

Find an online group, too, if you can't find a healthier group to attend.

[Citizen_Penn]

6. You're never alone.

make contact with your higher power before you speak.

conscious contact with the higher power of your understanding. Do a little 1 step, 2 step, 3 step, waltz - and you cannot make a misstep.

[jazzhound]

7. Back in Alanon for four months after about 20 years out.

Dealing with Mom has been pretty damn rough lately.

Re. CAL, certain non-CAL is announced at meetings I attend, but it's always identified as being non-compliant. This is in SoCal.

[Rhiannon12866]

8. I haven't been to a meeting in awhile, but I used to go regularly.

I really liked the group I attended, enthusiastic people with a lot of time in. But they were real sticklers for conference approved literature. I used to go there straight from a AA meeting and once when I had another book with me, they wouldn't even let me leave it on the table... :shrug:

[raccoon]

9. Update. This group is going to have a group conscience meeting in January.

THings got better for a while.

Then, 2 weeks ago, somebody did a program on non-CAL. I googled the quote she handed me (after the meeting) and it was from some daily meditation book by Earnie Larsen.

Last week, somebody did one on an excerpt from AA's Big Book. When she started, she said, "Such and such book" (I didn't catch it and asked several others who didn't either.) said you can use AA material in Al Anon groups." The GR came in late and so didn't call her on it (don't know for sure if she would have anyway), however she did call for a group conscience meeting in January after the holidays.

I suggested to the GR outside of the meeting that we might add something to our opening reading about using CAL. We say that in our statement of purpose, but apparently people either aren't listening or don't understand what it means.

Also I am going to order some "Why Conference Approved Literature" pamphlets. I discussed with the GR doing a program on CAL. I'm going to ask her to partner with me on this.

If anyone has done a skit on this subject, or seen one done, and have the script, or knows where I can get one, please notify me. PM me if you want.