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get the red out Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-16-09 08:36 AM
Original message
My friend is in trouble
Last fall a woman I know in recovery moved to WI from here in Ky to join someone she loved. The problem is that she had already gotten drunk after several years sober over this person and nearly died in that relapse. The relationship didn't work out and she has been trying to move home between two more horrible bouts of drinking and another near suicide. She was set to return when she called me last week, but last night left drunk messages to me and another friend of hers in recovery here. I know that there is little I can do, I may call this morning to tell her we all care about her and look forward to her being home from this bad experience. She is just like I was, sweet person sober but a really nasty drunk.

I guess I am requesting positive thoughts for her. It is a helpless feeling on my part, and I don't like having no power at all (fancy that). It would be much easier if I could just drive across town and take her to a meeting, but can't do that many states away. Bless her. It is where we can all be if we don't take proper care of our sobriety, whatever that means to us (whatever works). Doing what doesn't work over and over is deadly, and I am praying I don't loose a friend permanently. It is really making me take stock of what works for me today. I am grateful to not be in her position because I know how easily I could be.
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-16-09 11:54 AM
Response to Original message
1. GTRO, we ARE powerless over
other people. It's one of the hardest realities to face
in sobriety.

I will pray for her, it's the best we can do at this point.

Watching someone you love ( or care about) relapse is
hell, I've been there with my Dad.
He died sober twelve years ago.

I can only imagine what it was like for him to see me
relapse several times before hitting a sobriety date.

Take good care of yourself,OK?

:hug:

We carry the message, not the person.
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MH1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-16-09 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
2. GTRO, bless you for caring
I can relate... I am not alcoholic myself and am new to knowing anything at all about AA (and don't know much yet), but I am also in a situation of caring for someone who is many states away and struggling with addiction.

My heart goes out to you and your friend. I hope she finds the help she needs. The news on my friend this past week has been good, but I know it is a fragile time, so I am still praying. I will think of your friend too as I think of mine.
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get the red out Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-17-09 03:42 PM
Response to Original message
3. Thanks for your prayers.
No matter how long I am sober and around recovering people it is still difficult to know someone is slowly killing themselves with alcohol, and to realize I can't do a damn thing about it. Addiction is a powerful thing. It does make me look back and see what I put others through when I was drinking. I did a lot of "drunk dialing" to friends and loved ones.

Thanks again.
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get the red out Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-24-09 09:36 PM
Response to Original message
4. Update! Miracle
My friend made it home, is not drinking now, and went to a meeting with me tonight.

I need to see these little miracles in life so I don't become a miserable dry cynic, LOL! There are attitude perils in being sober for a while too I find (oh character defects, why do you leave only to be replaced by younger siblings?) I am very grateful. Sometimes I get to see some good new beginnings.

Hope everyone has a good Memorial Day weekend.
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FlyingSquirrel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-25-09 11:23 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. :-)
Glad to hear it. BTW, in my little book of AA sayings I seem to remember this one: "God will remove ONLY those character defects which stand in the way of my usefulness to others!"

:7

Or something like that. Wonder whether it's true.
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-28-09 05:20 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Excellent, Excellent news, GTRO!
Yes, Memorial Weekend was good, hope you
had a good one too.

I'm so glad to hear the good news about your
friend.

Remind her that's it's One Day at a Time,
take baby steps in the beginning, etc.

We can do this,
One Day at a Time.

Thanks for sharing the great news.

:hug:
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