I relapsed.

[Mutley]

I was smoking pot again for a couple months, which is why I haven't been around this group. I'm so embarrassed. I don't even know why I'm posting this because I don't want people here to think less of me. But, I'm on my 5th day since I last smoked. Maybe I feel if I post this it'll help me to stay on track. I'm so sorry.

[NMDemDist2]

1. you didn't let us down dear mutley

it takes what it takes :hug:

we help others to keep US sober, what the others do with it is their business :)


on most every 12 step meeting hall wall is a plaque that says "Live and Let Live"

Welcome back and just keep plugging away, one day at a time

An old timer I used to love (he's passed away now) said whoever got up earliest that morning had the most sobriety that day because it is a DAILY reprieve for all of us.

Instead of being ashamed, why not use it as an oportunity to search yourself of what sent you out and how you can do it different this time?

Hang in there and congrats on your honesty and 5 days :bounce:

[Mutley]

3. Thank you!

Today will be one full week. I thought I was ready to see a friend who hadn't quit (and probably never will), but it turns out I wasn't. I guess I just won't ever see that friend again. Thanks for your understanding. :hug:

[NMDemDist2]

5. the hardest thing I had to learn in recovery was to forgive myself

for the things I had done. didn't mean I could excuse the behavior or use forgiveness as a "pass" to keep doing crappy things you understand, but how to quit beating myself up long enough to live my way into a new way of thinking.

you wanna change your life in 30 days? look yourself in the mirror every day and say "I love you, I truly love you."

sounds simple huh? go look yourself in the eye and try it :rofl:

congrats on the week, one day at a time. :hug: :yourock: :applause:

[Mutley]

6. It's definately not as easy as it sounds.

Ands thanks. :yourock: too. :blush:

[NMDemDist2]

7. sounds like you tried it

good for you!

hang in there mutley and keep us posted huh?

PM us if you need anything ok?

[Mutley]

8. I will.

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

2. I, for one, do not think any less of you!

I am glad you are back and congrats on 5 days!

:hug:

[Mutley]

4. Thank you, KitchenWitch!

:hug: It's because of you this group is even here. You guys are the best!

[rhino47]

9. Hey congrats on your new beginning

Every relapse though frustrating is just one step closer to your sobriety.

[Mutley]

16. Thanks rhino.

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

10. how's it going mutley? n/t

[Mutley]

13. Going good, thanks.

It's been a little over five weeks now, I think, and it's not as hard this time as it was last time. I'm feeling good. :hi:

[NMDemDist2]

18. so glad you checked in a let us know! :highfive:

:thumbsup:

[yardwork]

11. mutley - it takes a huge amount of courage to go back into recovery

Pat yourself on the back for quitting. Good for you! One day at a time.

[Mutley]

14. Thanks!

I'm doing well, and surprisingly the cravings have been at a minimum. I think I just have more invested in quitting this time than I did the last time. I HAVE to finish school. That helps.

[Justpat]

12. mutley, how are things going this week?

All the best to you... Old Broad

[Mutley]

15. Things are going well.

I'm finding that being clean is much easier this time around than the last time. All the best to you as well. :hi:

[yardwork]

17. This is great news! Congratulations and keep going.

One day at a time is all it takes.

:-)

[Justpat]

19. I'm glad to hear that, mutley.

When the day at a time thing gets too long,
break it down to what you can handle.

In the beginning, I can honestly say without a
hint of melodrama, that I got sober by breathing
in and out. THen afer a while, it got easier and
I could manage a day at a time.

Thanks for checking in. OB

[smirkymonkey]

20. Don't feel embarassed - as I have heard so often in meetings,

The normal thing for addicts and alcoholics is to use, staying sober does not come naturally to us.

I was in and out of the rooms for 5 years, never getting more than 60 days and usually a lot less than that. I am now sober 5 years, so my message is: "NEVER GIVE UP". Relapse is unfortunate, but it's part of recovery. That doesn't mean you shouldn't strive for continuous sobriety, but just don't condemn yourself if it doesn't take right away.

Anybody who would think less of you doesn't understand the disease. One of my favorite sayings is "Those who mind, don't matter and those who matter, don't mind." Please go easy on yourself and don't give up. Best of luck to you and keep checking in!

[Mutley]

22. Thank you so much.

I tried a few NA meetings the first time around and the environment just wasn't good for me. Everyone constantly talking about how much they miss their chosen drug just made me miss mine all the more. But I really enjoy having this place on DU where I'm relatively anonymous and where a bunch of people are going through the same thing as I am. Your message was wonderful. :hug:

[NMDemDist2]

24. I agree about NA. even though I was dually addicted I hated NA

AA had a lot more hope and laughter. You might want to give them a try :shrug:

[Mutley]

25. Would that work even though my problem is with pot?

I don't have a problem with alcohol -- rarely even drink at all.

[NMDemDist2]

26. It's about the Steps not the drug

[mourningdove92]

21. Keep on working it.

It isn't easy, but is so worth it. I'll be praying for you.

[Mutley]

23. Thank you.

That means more than you might think.

[gizmo1979]

27. fall off the horse get right back on.

Get back on track go to a meeting get a sponsor.It's a constant battle but one that can be one with the right tools.