Recovery from alcoholism and pain medication.

[no_hypocrisy]

I write with my friend in mind.

He is a recovering alcoholic. Goes to meetings every single night. Stopped the pills. Holds a job.

He's married but kicked out of his house by his wife. She won't believe he's stopped. He's loved her since he was 15. She breaks his heart by refusing to acknowledge his strides to improve.

Here's the breaking point IMO. He was in a head-on collision yesterday. Not his fault. No drinking, no breathalyzer test. Car totaled, hit his head hard on the side (no air bags on side), had to go to the ER for six hours.

His mother texted her daughter-in-law to tell her about the accident. The reply was heartless: Said that he was "probably drinking or taking pills and that's why there was an accident".

How hard it is to recover from both alcohol and prescription meds without someone you love A) not being concerned you're hurt in a serious MVA, and B) invalidating and insulting your struggles . . . .

BTW, divorce is not being considered. This kid just wants to get well first before he considers any major decision.

[demosincebirth]

1. It took my wife two years before she, really, developed faith that

I was really trying to stay sober. Twenty five years of drinking and broken promises takes a while to get over the hurt.

[elleng]

2. Awful situation; you and his mother will have to be his hand-holders.

Best of luck to you all.

:grouphug:

[varkam]

3. Wow - that sounds like a very painful situation.

About the only thing I feel like I might be able to offer is just to point out that recovery has to be done for the recovering addict, and not anyone else. If your friend is recovering to repair a relationship or something like that, my experience has been that such a recovery is not nearly as stable as those addicts who are recovering for themselves.

But, beyond that, I'll just offer my sympathies. I certainly know what it's like to get shut out by someone you love (even if it is understandable). Give your friend my best wishes :pals:

[jazzhound]

4. I can certainly sympathize with your friend.

A couple of years after I stopped drinking through the program I discovered that my co-workers had a pool going based on how long it would take for me to relapse. Mind you, there was no option to bet that I'd stay sober --- it was just a question to everyone just how long it would take me to drink or dope again! Although it stung somewhat at the time, I could certainly understand their skepticism w/regard to my sobriety. After all, I was the hardest drinking/drugging employee in the dept. with a distinguished history of stopping (some substances) and then relapsing.

I'm now coming up on 24 years --- and feel bad that I was never able to bet on myself. No one would have guessed I'd make it this far..............I would have won a truckload of cash.

[demosincebirth]

5. I bet you wouldn't have had it no other way. Except for a few regrets now and then