To alcoholics

[ismnotwasm]

I rarely start posts anywhere, but I just got this phone call from the mother of a friend of mine.

My friend's name is Howie. He's a hard core alcoholic who tried it all--multiple treatments centers, sober houses, AA halls, AA groups, Rational recovery. Everything but not picking up the first drink.
He eventuallly became a falling down piss and shit your pants drunk. Charming even when blotto, he'd say in his Jersey accent "All I want to do is drink a beer and watch the game" A very hard worker, his alcoholism baffled him, because he could make money you know? He continued to try for sobriety, but often drinking with two hard-core street alcoholics who considered Howie An amatuer. Because Howie, for all his New Jersey toughness, didn't know how to live and survive as an alcoholic on the street. These guys knew. And the inevididable happened.

Howie ran out of booze. His alcohol level dropped too fast putting him into Grand Mal seizures. By the time the medics got to him to restart his heart, they estimated his brain had been without oxygen for 4 minutes.

We went to the ICU that night see him on life support, my husband sneaking in by saying he was Howie's pastor (My husband does have honesty relapses) Because he had some little card that said he was--some joke card. And there was Howie. We didn't want to believe he was brain dead, and we'd pretend there was some reaction when we'd say "Hey Howie, the Yankee's suck" We did a lot of pretending over the next few months as his parents decided to keep him on a ventaltor to breathe and a feeding tube to eat, and placed him in a nursing home. He was 40 years old. Over time, we visited Howie less and less, yet he became a cautionary tale among us.

So I just got a call from his mother, thanking us for supporting them in those early months. And no there's no change. And then she said "Howie has five years of sobriety today"
shit. shit. shit. I hate to cry

[NMDemDist2]

1. .....

it's a cruel disease

:hug:

and prayers for your friend and his family

[KitchenWitch]

2. That is a tragic story

Thank you for the subtle reminder of where I could end up.

[stepnw1f]

3. Very Cool Story

Very very uplifting. Three years of not drinking for me...

[jeanarrett]

4. Umm. How is this uplifting?

There is "no change." He's still in a coma, which is why he is sober.

[stepnw1f]

5. Oh Jesus... I read it Wrong

I'm sorry.

[vademocrat]

6. There but for the grace of...

Thank you for sharing this story with us - much as I hate hearing stuff like this (it makes me cry &, like you, I hate to cry!), I need to listen and remember that I've gone to the edge and looked into that pit where alcohol will lead an alcoholic. Stories like this make me appreciate and value my sobriety all the more.

This disease is cunning, baffling and powerful - I'm sorry your friend wasn't one of the lucky ones. My heart goes out to you.:cry:

[ismnotwasm]

7. We haven't been up to see him in a while

So we're planning on going today or tommorrow. I tell his mom he's in a good place. So many of us think it can't happen to us.....
Thank God for sobriety. And for me, thank God for AA
And to Howie-- we still love you.