Do you ever feel lonely in a room full of

[gizmo1979]

people?I had that feeling tonight.When you're with people with different priorities and pursuits.I really like talking about politics and social issues,but my wife and her family are more into gossip and such.Just doesn't interest me.I guess that is why I spend so much time on the board.

[NMDemDist2]

1. I rarely feel lonely

but bored to shit is an entirely different matter :rofl:

[vademocrat]

2. I think AZDem hit the nail on the head - Boredom

I've felt many times that I'd rather be home with a good book than with whatever group I was with at the time. Since being sober and learning how to identify my real feelings, I've realized that many "normal" social events bore me to tears. I don't enjoy them, never have, probably never will so I say no to a lot of stuff.

Of course, my family is really into politics & social stuff (my brother introduced me to DU) so family get togethers are actually fun! :shrug:

[XanaDUer]

3. Yes, at work

I don't discuss politics at work, but I do get tired of all the concern that, say, "American Idol" brings about. I never watch that crap.

[KitchenWitch]

4. I have

It is really an unpleasant feeling.

:hug:

[gizmo1979]

7. Yes it is indeed.

I've about run the course of excuses to leave also so I'm stuck there.

[wildeyed]

5. My in-laws bore me, too.

I feel so guilty for disliking them as much as I do sometimes. They are petty, narrow, conservative bigots, but they raised my husband, who I adore, and deserve more love and respect than I am sometimes capable of giving them. Oh well, I am sure they are not thrilled about me, either. It's a process..........

[gizmo1979]

6. That's exactly my inlaws

church 3 times a week,vote republican dumb as dirt.They met me in my drinking days so they weren't thrilled with me.So now that they've warmed to me I really have no use for them.I don't feel they deserve my love ,but I'm civil to them.I just don't say much.

[wildeyed]

8. I put on the glassy-eyed smile and nod a lot, try to remember to take

deep breaths. I cook like a maniac when they visit just to have something to do that appears social and constructive. I too have the bad habit of disappearing for hours at a time to post on the DU. I swear, I just intend to check My Posts to see if I have any responses, and then things kind of get rolling.......

But the last two visits have been difficult. Apparently, my three year old son needs ritalin because he acts like a three year old boy. You know; bright, energetic, busy, and sitting around the house all day with nothing to do, he gets a little antsy. Then it was brought to my attention that I don't hit the children enough, and if I just spanked them regularly, all would be well. They would then be too scared of me to misbehave or maybe even breath in my presence, so then we adults could all be happy. x(

I know, clearly I am holding on to an eensy bit of resentment. I am not usually this bitter, but it is hard for me when I feel that my children or parenting is being criticized. We are going for a short visit next week, so I need to get my act together soon.

On the other side of the coin, I know that they do the best they can, and that they are elderly and not inclined to change. So it is really up to me to deal with my own boredom and hostility 'cause they are even less likely to change than most people.

[NMDemDist2]

9. NOMB but

I find the St Francis prayer helps in these situations especially this verse

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;

to understand, than to be understood;

to love, than to be loved.

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.

It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.


maybe that will help? :shrug:

[wildeyed]

10. I am sure it will.

They don't *mean* to be obnoxious. OK, my FIL does, but he is a cranky ole man and his health has not been the best recently. I just need to chill out and not take it so personally. It is helping me to vent about it a little, too. :hi:

[NMDemDist2]

11. see? it started working already

you are trying to understand them :evilgrin:

I'll tell ya, trying to practice this in my relationships completely transformed some work related issues I'd had for YEARS in early recovery, and it is another one of those "it works when you work it" tools

good luck! :hug:

[gizmo1979]

12. I'm getting much better at

being cordial.I'm still just dredding dealing with the petty family politics.Everyone is an expert in raising children,and relationships.It really sucks for those of us that do know everything,just joking.I deal now and hold my tongue.My daughter though she now speaks her mind as I used to rankles afew feathers but they take it from her better than me.

[demosincebirth]

13. Thats the way!