Was there ever a time when the enormity (NPI*) of your weight hit you?

[bertha katzenengel]

I am feeling it today -- feeling as if it is dragging me down. I feel GRAVITY. I hurt all over, a deep ache, as if my flesh is trying to escape my bones. I can't get comfortable, no matter what I do.

For the FIRST time in the 20+ years I have carried this weight, I FEEL OBESE.

And to celebrate, I went out to the hot dog lady and bought a 24-oz Coca-Cola, and chugged it. I couldn't help myself. I'd just eaten a high-protein lunch, waited about an hour, felt no boost whatsoever, and gave up.

I have never felt fat until today. NEVER. I have always felt like I could get on a tennis court or a ball field and pick up where I left off, back when I was still fat, but not SO fat, and I was fitter.

What a joke. I can barely WALK today, and I know it's because of this extra 130 I'm carrying around. I had a hint when my foot kept missing the opening at the top of my pants this morning. I figured I must not have slept well and was just stiff. If only that were the case.

Why did it hit me like this all of a sudden? Did this ever happen to you?

* no pun intended

[crispini]

1. There have been times when I notice that in hindsight.

Twice now I have gone from a totally sedentary and heavy body condition to exercising and getting more in shape. Each time I have passed a point in my exercise when my body suddenly felt lighter and easier to carry. I think it happens when my muscles realize they can't get away with just lying around anymore and so suddenly they start to cooperate with me instead of going, "uhhhh, don't wanna do this." Ok that's a weird description but it fits how it feels. :shrug:

[bertha katzenengel]

4. I get it.

I heard a similar lament from my own body yesterday. Sigh.

[WolverineDG]

2. It hit me

when I had to have emergency surgery because of a cat bite over NYE. What a fun time to be in the hospital. NOT.

I decided that my resolution that year would be to take better care of myself. At first, I tried to do it on my own. By March, I obviously wasn't doing so well, so I signed up for WW online. When they asked me what my weight was, I guessed (I didn't have a scale at the time). I went out & bought a scale later for weigh-ins, & discovered I was a full 25 lbs MORE than I thought I was. I sat down & cried.

It's been three years, I'm still above 200 lbs (I got stuck at 212, then 208, then 201, & back up to 212 because I back-slid this summer), but I've lost 50 lbs. When I pick up 50 lbs bags of dog food, I can't believe I could even MOVE with all that weight on me! So, I've recommitted, & have gone back to the gym & to spinning class every freaking chance I get.

I think at some point, you have to reach your "I'm just not going to put up with this any more moment." If it helps, start slowly. Check out WW online or a WW program near you. Start walking in 15 or 20 minute increments. Don't give up & don't beat yourself up for back-sliding. At some point, you will feel better & not so heavy. I'm still classified as "obese," but my BP is normal & so is my blood sugar.

Do yourself a favor & stop with the cokes. That high fructose corn syrup is not doing you any favors! I had to cut them out completely in January because I had stopped having them so frequently that the caffiene, syrup, & god knows what else that's in them started wreaking havoc with my BP.

:hug:

dg

[bertha katzenengel]

3. Thanks for the time you spent in replying, Wolverine, and --

happy birthday! :toast:

[WolverineDG]

5. thanks bertha!

:toast: i hope you feel better soon. :)

dg

[bertha katzenengel]

6. I will.... if I can get over Coca-Cola soon.

I have quit SO many times. The first few days are the hardest.

There are some strange, keep-the-slaves-quite perqs at my office. Among them is the free Coke fountain on every floor. It dispenses 6 oz at a time, Coke, Diet Coke, or Sprite. That thing is evil. :evilfrown:

[WolverineDG]

8. Oh do I hear you on that

Yes, the first few days are killer, but once you're over that "god i need caffeine, make this headache go away" hump, you'll do fine. I'm not one to preach about pushing stuff away from the plate (if it's in front of me, I eat it. :evilfrown: ) or not drinking if it's free, but start thinking about what coke does to your body & then ask yourself it's worth it. somedays it might be, others it won't. :)

dg

[auntAgonist]

7. I think for me

I have always 'felt' fat, people would say "you carry your weight well" , so I ignored it. A few years ago I bought a Pontiac Grand Am. It was a struggle to do the seatbelt. Twice I headed for the dealership to order an extension and twice I was too ashamed to go through with it. EVERY time I went to the Dr and stood on his scale I was embarrassed. I 'felt' that the people close to me, who really loved me were even ashamed or embarrassed to go places with me. *note* they NEVER said they were, it was just a feeling I had.

The realization hit me that I probably wouldn't be long for this world when my blood pressure started to rise and stay high. I had to do something. Diets didn't work. Sure I could lose 20lbs in a couple of months but they'd come back with even more added in less time. My metabolism was practically zilch.

I opted for surgery, smartest thing I could have done for myself. (obligatory note here, I'm not pushing bariatric surgery).

I'm healthier, and yes happier. I've gone from 291lbs to 146lbs, from womens size 28-32 to a size 12 jeans and a size 4 sweater.

I'm not sure I answered your question K, but I DO know how you feel.

:hug:

:loveya:

kesha.