I'm really having a bad day.. rant , pity party etc

[auntAgonist]

I'm tired of feeling tired. Yesterday I fell, yes fell down the stairs in our house. I guess my heel caught the top step and I went head first down the steps. Fortunately we've just had the stairs redone and they are no longer 13 steps down but five to a landing and then they turn. My right leg is one massive black and purple bruise as is my right arm. I also went to the Dr yesterday, he's not happy with the fact that I'm not getting enough protein and sent me for MORE bloodwork on top of the yearly bloodwork regimen my surgeon/specialist has me do. I'm really not doing too badly over all but today, I hurt and am trying real hard to not spend my day crying like a 2 year old. I should be thrilled with the progress I'm making and I am, but some days, like today I just want to curl up in a blanket and be warm. My life is quite different yet it's the same and I sometimes find it hard to handle. Suddenly I'm one of the most popular people at work, worthy of talking to. At 291 lbs I was just a tub of lard that got passed over for special projects etc. People can be so shallow .. I pray to god I never ever treat anyone based on looks and perceptions. I don't know if I thought I'd feel better writing this, but you guys are a great support and I guess I just put it out here. Maybe some good thoughts would help, maybe I just need to deal with it.

aA

[Debau2005]

1. Hey!!!

I hope you feel better. Sometimes having a pity party is not so bad! Lay on the sofa, or bed, whichever is more comfortable after the fall and which mindless, meaningless tv for a few hours. Or go get a pedicure, I save those for decadent moments, or a facial.

What are you doing for protein? I am a vegetarian, so I watch my protein carefully. I have discovered a lot of protein sources that I did not know about before, such as some vegetables. Maybe you should look up some vegetarian websites for protein tips.

Let us know how you are feeling. :pals:

[auntAgonist]

4. Today isn't a whole lot better

I will check out the veg protein sites online.

thank you for your kind words.

aA

[thinkingwoman]

2. You need a day of pampering

Accidental injuries are a pain in so many ways! Not only are they an physical blow, but they often are an emotional one as well. If you're like me (and I dare say many of us), accidents happen at the most inopportune times!

It's ok to be a little down and the best way to bounce back (imho and personal experience) is to pamper yourself! If you want to curl up with a blanket, get to it! Indulge in some guilty pleasures--read, watch a favorite movie, spend countless hours on DU--whatever lifts your spirits. Be a little selfish.

Tomorrow, or the next day, you'll feel more like your new old self again. You have so much to be proud of! I'm sorry I've been busy the past few days because I meant to respond to your post about your rebirth day. What an amazing journey you've had! I'm thrilled for you!!

We all have good and bad days, no matter what our success and challenges may be. Don't be too hard on yourself.

[auntAgonist]

7. We're so busy

with renovations and working full time I don't have ANY time to pamper me. Some days I just want to run away y'know? .. heh, I used to do that, run away ... but no matter where I went, there I was!

I think I'm depressed or something. Thank you for your kind words re my re-birth day. I guess maybe it's all just catching up with me?

[AlCzervik]

3. it's pretty normal to have some resentment toward those who avoided you

in the past because of your appearance or maybe treated you as a second class citizen, those kind of people won't be there if you needed them imo. It's a big adjustment you're making you know, you're literally a whole new person on the outside but inside you're probably who you've always been. Give it some time and treat yourself and remember that people are stupid and this too shall pass. :hug:

[progmom]

5. hey friend

:hug:

Sounds like quite a day.

You're in my thoughts, as always.

[lavenderdiva]

6. Goodness, you are having a time of it!

I'm so sorry that today and yesterday just plain sucked for you! Do you think if you added a bit more protein to your diet you would feel better and have a bit more energy? I'm not a nutritionist, and don't know a whole lot about these things, but I am just wondering...

I know just how much it hurts for people not to see YOU. You are right, people are shallow. I am still heavy, and am still dealing with the fact that people don't see the possibilities in me. All they see is someone who is overweight. It makes them uncomfortable. You are seeing the flip side now. Now, they want to know you, and get your input. I really think all we can do is look past their shallowness and be bigger than that. 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. I really believe in that. Where we were heavy, and got overlooked for many things, they have other issues stirring inside. One of our issues was just MUCH more noticeable, and hard to avoid seeing. We all have issues, their issues are lurking underneath a 'thin' exterior. However, you have beaten and conquered one of your issues, and can wear that with pride!!!

My mother used to always say, 'When you are having a bad day, take a bath, wash your hair, give yourself a manicure & pedicure (of course, you could treat yourself, if you are able), and you will feel SO much better!'. And she was right. Remember, we are always here for you too! :hug: :hi:

[u4ic]

9. WE see the possibilities in you, lavenderdiva!

:grouphug:

[lavenderdiva]

13. Thanks u4ic, you always know just what to say!

n/t :hug:

[u4ic]

8. auntieA

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I'm so sorry you're in pain - both physical and emotional.

I hope the you and your Dr can come up with some strategies for you to keep your protein levels up. I know when I'm not getting enough, I feel unusually tired, too.

As for the emotional...you, my dear, are a fantastic person. You are kind, supportive, generous and funny! You were one of the first people to befriend me, and even if you hated Harvey's(!), I'd still luv ya! :loveya:

I can understand of what you speak...I've noticed that just 25 lbs made a difference in those perceptions. Sometimes I enjoy the attention, but sometimes I just get so angry about exactly what you said...people can be so shallow.

Perhaps if anyone is in the same boat as you were, you could model supportive behaviour to those who are uneducated, or ignorant.

I'm sending you light and healing vibes...I hope you feel better soon. You know you have many friends here. :grouphug:

[auntAgonist]

11. thanks U4ic.

My leg hurts SO bad. I feel like such a baby. I went for x-rays last night the dr was sure I'd broken a small bone in the front of my leg but nothing showed up. He prescribed vicodin and that, thankfully let me get some sleep last night. I'm supposed to keep my leg elevated y'know .. R rest, I ice, C compression, E elevate, but it hurts worse when I put it down. I guess I'll just have to live with it for a while. The edema isn't helping any either. I just cannot win for losing some days!

Thanks for your kindness, I'm sorry i can't be more postitive.

:(

[Kathleen04]

10. aA

Hope you're starting to feel better now. :hug: I hope you and your Dr. can solve your energy problems soon. Best wishes to you, get well!

[auntAgonist]

12. thanks Kathleen

I hope so too.

[lavenderdiva]

14. How are you doing aA?

Just wondering if you are feeling better with your new medication? Please keep us updated-- :hi:

[wake.up.america]

15. You seem to be a lovely person to me. People who judge you according...

to your appearance aren't very nice.

Try to lose some weight for yourself, not for others.

You will feel much better!!!!

[Dervill Crow]

16. I understand.

I've lost and regained weight numerous times, and my husband is SO much nicer to me when I weigh less. It really pisses me off. In a perverse way it's almost more insulting when people are more accepting when you meet their criteria for "proper personhood."

It's perfectly reasonable to be hurt and angry at how shallow people are. It just shows that they are not the brightest bulbs in the knife drawer that they didn't fully appreciate you before. It's them, not you.

Hug your blankie and cry for a while if you need to. You'll feel better. I'm responding to an old post, so I'm hoping you feel better already.

:hug: Let us know how you're doing!