Some brave people here - so here I go

[nadine_mn]

I am impressed by the honesty and compassion expressed here so I figured wahoo I will post.

I am way too close to 400 and 34 yrs old. The only diet that has ever worked for me is the poverty diet (you know too poor to buy food, no car so had to walk everywhere, etc)

Damn global warming...it is so hot just the thought of waddling for a walk makes me sweat. I am so impressed by the DUers walking several miles and biking as well - When I go to the Y to walk I got passed by an 80+yr old with a limp and I believe a snail.

I am excellent at making excuses, and have lost any will to give a rats ass....I don't know how to get back the desire to be healthy and to take care of myself. I am extremely self-destructive in so many ways (yes I have been to therapy since the age of 5-18 - court ordered because my parents messed me up, and then kept it up over the years off and on). I see my weight and lack of exercise as another form of self-destruction.

I know how to eat healthy and I know to exercise....I am just struggling with the why.

[Lex]

1. My first goals were small ones

I said to myself: "10 pounds. I want to just lose 10 pounds to start." I started walking at just 15 minutes per day--no more.

The difference that 10 pounds made in how I felt was phenomenal (seriously, just 10 pounds will make a difference even if you have a lot to lose).

The 15 minute walk per day made me feel so much better that eventually I went to 20 minutes for a while. Now I do at least 30 minutes of brisk walking, sometimes up to an hour (but not often that much).

My advice I guess is to forget long term goals for a while and just concentrate on 10 pounds and 15 minutes of walking. Once you've knocked that out, you'll feel so differently about yourself (or at least I did) that you'll be in a different and better place emotionally about continuing on losing.

Hope this helps! :hi:

[nadine_mn]

2. thank you

sometimes it seems like too much, but putting it in perspective a day at a time helps

[Systematic Chaos]

3. Do what you can, and love yourself.

We sound like we come from very similar backgrounds. A lot of my present problems have their roots in bad childhood experiences and I know that even when you have someone who loves you it can be hard to stop punishing yourself in your mind over things that happened decades in the past. It's a long and difficult process to heal.

What I suggest is that, when you are out there trying to walk, you should focus on the fact that you aren't giving up and don't beat yourself up over the fact that others can move faster than you can. The more you try and the more you congratulate yourself for not giving up, the more progress you will make.

You couldn't ask for a more supportive and understanding group of people than you will find here. Thank you for posting and sharing your story, and if there is any way I can help I would be more than happy to try. :)

[haf216]

4. I feel the same way you do.

I know what I need to do to lose the weight (and have lost weight in the past), but can't find the reasons to do this time.

I think a lot of my problem is until 10 years ago I never had weight problem, but when I hit 30 everything change. Now I have watch what I eat and exercise and I just can't seem to find the will.

I hope that some how you and I can find will to get healthy.

[LuckyTheDog]

5. Why?

Because you are a valuable member of the world and deserve to be healthy and happy. Good enough?

[Ellen Forradalom]

6. Self-caring acts are healing

The very act of going for a walk is healing. Every good thing you do for yourself is healing.

Self-care and self-love are habits, and take time to establish. Each walk you take establishes the habit a little bit more. Just take it a bit at a time.

[lavenderdiva]

7. that's excellent advice, Ellen-

I'm taking it myself; thank you for sharing. I needed to hear it today :hug:

[supernova]

8. And not just exercise, other ways to feel great

Caring for yourself doesn't mean just your daily dose of exercise or following your eating plan to the nth degree...

There are other things to enjoy too..

1) Get a piece of music you really enjoy... a CD or load up your MP3 player. If you play an instrument and or sing, even better.

2) Go for a massage. They make you feel really great ... no matter your size. The masseuse/masseur isn't concerned about it at all.

3) Meditate or follow whatever spiritual practices bring you peace.

4) Enjoy caring for a pet and playing with it.

5) Spend time with little kids. They are pure joy and will have you laughing in no time. And they benefit from contact with grown ups who are not their parents.


IOW, don't get so focused on losing weight that you forget to enjoy other aspects of life too. :-)