How do you keep to an eating style and not let an SO influence you?

[supernova]

GAAAHHHH!!!

This is the biggest question I have right now. I do fine when I'm alone. I stick to my script. I don't go out much. At the grocery store, I only get the things that are on my plan.

BUT,

So now, I'm dating. Yes, it's fun, he's a nice stable guy. It might be a longer term arrangement, I don't know. :blush:

We get along well,... and the eating. Gah! It's making me crazy to work so hard at my exercise and diet all week, only to fall off the wagon on the weekend when we go out. I think several of us here have said that we follow some form of managed carb plan. I do too, limiting my carbs to veggies and a few fruits. And the occasional potato.

As far as eating goes, my partner is essentially me before I started learning about nutrition and changing my relationship to food. He loves his sweet tea, the bread bowl before dinner, pasta, rice, --- all the stuff that I have put on my hit list! Of course he's overweight. An adorable sweetie who is overweight. I'm quasi-alarmed because he looks like a heart attack waiting to happen. My problem is, I can't have "just a litttle." I'm like an addict. A little gets to be more and more... until the scale starts climbing up again, not down like I want it to.

I think I am execising well and my eating plan is sound. Just sticking to it is the issue.

I do not nag him. I'm not a food Nazi. And he does say I'm a good influence on him in that way. We are going walking tomorrow. Our first outing that doesn't involve food. Yay!

But, how can I stick to my eating plan while we date? Part of it is restaurants are usually noisy and busy. This is a little nerve-wracking for me... and unfortunately I eat when I am nervous.

Any tips for mismatched eating styles?

[justgamma]

1. What I do is

If you know where you're going, check for a menu online. I'll pick out what I want ahead of time. I've heard of people asking for a take home bag before they start eating and divide their food in half. I like saving half my food because then I get the yummy meal again the next day.

My saving grace is that I'm able to concentrate on the great, good for you entree, and pretty much ignor whatever is around me.

Don't talk yourself into eating anything that you know you shouldn't.

Eat light earlier in the day and save the cal. for that night.

Good luck and have fun.

[supernova]

2. Thanks for replying

I do a lot of that. Good suggestions all.

And generally I do a good job of getting the healthier options on the menu: the grilled chicken, the broiled seafood... I can even put 1/2 of it in a take home box.

But then they serve rice or mashed potatoes, or some other starchy high-carb side that I CAN'T RESIST to save my life. Must. Eat. Carbs. This is what fattens me up like a fois gras duck! x(

Next time we go out, I may see if I can order two veggies and no rice. :think:

I should say, he doesn't bother me about my eating, this is mostly in my head and wanting to ignore the unhealthy cues in my environment.

[elleng]

5. 2 veggies, or somesuch, is a GOOD idea!

I often order an appetizer or 2, and maybe soup and/or salad, instead of unwise entrees.

Different issues at home, as my SO is Pakistani and much prefers foods I sometimes enjoy (he cooks), but not often enough. SO I spend too much time being hungry and feeling sorry for myself. Have just discovered frozen vegetarian items, which may save me!

Good Luck!

[The empressof all]

3. It's really really hard and I have no solutions

I can commiserate. My family went out to an excellent Italian restaurant for lunch last weekend. I had fig and goat cheese pizza. I had to do it. I knew it was wrong for me. I knew I would suffer and it would cause all kinds of blow back. I went into full fledged binge mode yesterday a full 5 days after my carb fest. I was having a bad day...I had been hungry all week after the carb overload and I fricken ate 6 Zone Perfect bars (The dark chocolate ones I keep stashed in the pantry for when I need to grab something quick to go) They had been there for weeks...I wasn't tempted by them before but yesterday---I couldn't rest until they were all gone. Now in my defense I could have gone after the two boxes of girl scout cookies the SO thinks he has "hidden" from me in the upper cabinet. (He thinks he's doing me a favor to keep it out of sight and he's probably right)

I try to stay away from "good" restaurants all together. I just can't do it right now. I can manage Applebees, I can manage the local breakfast joints...I can manage Seafood places. I can't go near Italian, most Asian, Indian or "Fine Dining". It sucks.

Can you cook together at home instead of eating out?

[Broken_Hero]

4. What I usually end up doing

is trying to pick the most healthiest thing on the menu...even if its fast food, I get the grilled chicken, plain no sauce...

With my medication, I can't have salads/greens, so I can't really eat them, so I just try to eat whatever I think is the healthiest. My wife is overweight as well, and sometimes its hard NOT to eat bad, because like me, she is a fast food junkie. She likes going to Burger King/Taco Hell, and she usually gets the most fattening calorie infested burger, and here I am with my grilled chicken, plain...the whole time, I'm trying NOT to watch her eat that delicious...tasty burger.

But, I endure, she also has a sweet tooth, and a decent portion of our grocery list is sweets/ice cream, but I don't have much of an affinity for sweets, but the chips that she gets, I surely do have a affinity for those! It makes it harder, but 99.9% of the time I endure.

The hardest thing/habit for me to break because of my SO is smoking...when I quit, she usually doesn't, and its very difficult to stop smoking, when I'm surrounded by it, while she is at home, and the itch for cigs, is the strongest itch I've ever had...it makes it hard. My average non-smoking stints are usually 6 weeks or so, before I cave...its my fault I cave, I totally take responsibility for that, but man...watching her smoke, whew...makes it hard.

[ginnyinWI]

6. First of all,

when couples eat together it's dangerous for the woman because the tendency is to divide everything in half. You can't do that unless you want to weigh as much as he does. A normal sized woman should eat only 2/3 of what a normal sized man eats. This is how I gained a lot of weight--by eating as much as he did, plus in between meal snacks. I've lost 50 pounds by changing my ways, and have maybe 25 to go.

Eating out: my husband eats way more than I do, but he eats faster so it works out even. He's not fat--he's a naturally thin guy who has a bit of a pot now that he's in his 50s. He cuts back for a week or three and loses it all, then slowly gains it back and repeats the diet.

When we eat out, I decide how much I can have and take much smaller bites and eat a lot slower. Sometimes he has dessert, and I order a decaf and have just one bite of his dessert. Or if I have had only a salad I might order some small dessert like one scoop of ice cream (my personal love). He usually goes for the big plate entree with some meat or fish and then rice or potatoes. I try to get creative and order something smaller, like a Caesar salad with chicken strips. It takes a long time to eat all that lettuce and you still feel full. I also like to order hot tea, because you can fiddle around making it with your tea bags and pot of hot water and have a drink to sip while he's stuffing his face.

Then be happy when he's got a bellyache from eating too much, because you didn't.


See how slowly you can eat--because if you are done and he isn't, you're going to want to keep going and not put the rest in a take home bag.

[Catshrink]

7. Ask for the take home carton to be delivered when the food it.

Immediately put what you plan on NOT eating into the carton. Out of sight, out of mind. Do it before the taste lures you into eating more than you intended to.

[AllieB]

8. DH eats pretty much the same way I do

since I do most of the cooking. ;-)

If I left him to his own devices, it would be pizza or Chinese food for dinner. He craves carbs, and I eat lowish carb/low glycemic. When we go out to eat, we stick to steakhouses because I can get meat and veggies and avoid the refined carbs and potatoes. I try to avoid Mexican, Italian (unless it's a place I can get something other than pasta, and Chinese food. Since I began cooking more, he's lost 35 lbs and is close to his college weight.