This post is brought on by a combination of having just read this:
http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/for the first time, and a conversation I had with my husband yesterday.
As I said in my Going Back to Work thread, I have been a SAHM for the past 3 years and am about to start working outside the home again. I am overjoyed about this, because frankly I am just not the kind of woman who can function in this kind of environment, no matter how much I love my family.
So we (my husband and I) sat around yesterday brainstorming about where I could look for a job. I started to get a little frustrated during this conversation because with a considerably higher intelligence level than most people I have met and my BA almost finished, I should be a fine candidate for an entry level position pretty much anywhere.
However, I'm not. I have little work experience outside of retail (though I was an English tutor for awhile in college which is at least a "smart" job). I've spent what would have been my internship years raising a child.
My husband never went to college, is a reasonably smart guy (above average but not quite an astrophysicist level), and is in his second year at a job where he already brings in around $50K a year (in a city where the average household income is about $29K).
I marvel at this. To be completely honest, I am smarter than my husband. I am more educated, I am well spoken, I've been published for crying out loud. I handle our money matters and all other sensitive issues that require diligence and mental fortitude.
Why is he qualified for this great job while I am not?
My husband points out to me, in that ever-so-charming :sarcasm: completely blind man way, that his "real world experience" serving in the military (service which, he has informed me, consisted mostly of drinking beer, eating pizza, and barhopping) somehow entitles him to a good job.
Well, what the fuck does my "real world experience" as a 24-hour full-service EVERYTHING provider earn me?
Most likely a blank stare from whoever interviews me for a job - particularly if that interviewer is a man.
The way I see it, I should get credit for 3 years of leadership experience at the very least.
I do see the family unit (whether traditional or not) as a useful economic tool - without my husband's income, it would be difficult for me to raise my daughter. Without me, he wouldn't be able to afford daycare every day without taking on a second job. I can even see the potential honor and dignity in a woman (or a man for that matter) making the choice to stay home and care for a child.
But as Twisty said, the problem is that it is only one of the better on a long list of really shitty choices.
And it's getting hard for me, already, to tell if my husband is the exception I believed he was when we met, or just another guy getting a sweet deal in the marriage racket.
:(