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Do you know something I really hate?

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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 12:52 PM
Original message
Do you know something I really hate?
:rant:
Due to an accident of birth, the entire justification for my existence, the sole purpose which I serve in this world, is located between my collarbones and haunches. The rest serves to make me ambulatory, dextrous and able to serve men.

This is true for everyone from the Pope to Larry Flynt. Women buy into it as much as men. And it's getting worse all the time. I see it every fucking day and it is completely fucking depressing to me. I'm fucking sick of the mommy wars, the grandstanding over marriage and family, pink-ghetto television and magazines, the pressure to never age, the crack-ho fashions that crowd the stores. I even get tired of sex and reproduction crowding out other issues on the feminism sites. Jeezus, everybody, give it a rest. I'm a HUMAN FUCKING BEING, not a FUCK OBJECT. How hard is that to grasp?

Does it get to you as much as it does to me?
:rant:
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Katherine Brengle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 03:54 PM
Response to Original message
1. Blame on sister.
The thing is, until that stops, nothing else can truly change as far as I am concerned. As long as I and all other women are just holes to be penetrated (OR holes unworthy of being penetrated), the basic fabric of our society will not change.
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 03:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. EXACTLY.
*sigh*
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ismnotwasm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 05:51 PM
Response to Original message
3. Amen
I'm reading "The Dialectic of Sex; The Case for Feminist Revolution by Shulamith Firestone. Published in 1970 for the Gods sakes. A big Simone de Beauvoir fan, she follows along her line of thought, although she is a bit simpler read.

What's depressing is that her words are as true today and they were back then, with a few improvements. Here's a typical quote

"Women and children are always mentioned in the same breath (Women and children to the forts!"). The special tie women have with children is recognized by everyone. I submit, however, that the nature of this bond is no more than shared oppression. And that moreover this oppression is intertwined and mutually reinforcing in such complex ways, that we will be unable to speak of the liberation of women without also unable to speak of the liberation of children, and vice versa. The heart of woman's oppression is her childbearing and childrearing roles. And in turn, children and defined in relation in this role, and are psychologically formed by it; what they become as adults and the sorts of relationships they are able to form determines the society they will ultimately build."

What pisses me off about this, 1)it's true 2) the mommy blaming cult is alive and well. In other words, not only are women objectified, even what is "acceptable" for women--motherhood, is subject to all kinds of subtle and not so subtle scrutiny and criticism, often from other women. Men get cute tee shirts "Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a Daddy" --Like they deserve special treatment for doing their fucking job, biological parent or not. Women get taken for granted in the worse possible way, and still are.


Any sign that women try to break out of the cast mold, to throw off patriarchy, they're scrutinized, criticized, (Anyone ever decide NOT to have kids? All kinds of busybodies come out) they're ripped apart, called names, degraded, and then there is the fall back favorite accusation "Dyke"--Only now it's usually an accusation of transgender. Fuck.

It pisses me off too, I've always been more than what's sexual about me. And I resent that even at 47 fucking years old, it's the first way I'm judged.



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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 11:01 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. Oh hell yeah. I'm a human being with a son.
Not someone who has made her whole identity 'mommy.' Still the one of the most radical ideas out there.

One of the many little things that set this rant off was reading a brochure for a martial arts academy. The bio of the co-proprietor, a woman, listed her many accomplishments (black belt to the Nth degree, successful entrepreneur) and ended with: "Greatest accomplishment--MOM!" It seemed so out-of-place there, as if hastily tacked on to establish her female cred and reassure the reader that she won't kick his ass. It left a really bad taste in my mouth.
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bliss_eternal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-13-07 09:33 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. That brochure would have bugged me, too.
Edited on Thu Sep-13-07 09:56 PM by bliss_eternal
But you know she added that part for the female patriarchical apologists, too. They (sadly) are sometimes the first to take another woman to task for not properly acknowledging, and deferring to her role as "mommy." :puke: I've witnessed it firsthand, and it's beyond disturbing.

I don't blame them. But frankly, it is troubling (and hurtful)to be torn down by one's gender, for choosing to walk a different path than they have.



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mrreowwr_kittty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 11:07 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. Like that homophobic nitwit Dr. Laura
Back in the mid '90s, I had a friend who was a huge fan of hers. It was the height of her popularity. My pal, who had serious marital and self-image problems, bought all her books and listened to her show religiously. It mystified me because it seemed that Dr. Laura based her whole career on trashing other women. Unfortunately, people like her can become very successful at it because so many women, like my friend, have internalized negative messages about themselves already.

Anyway, Dr. Laura would constantly refer to herself as "my kid's mom". She held herself up as the standard bearer of successful motherhood and femininity, that rest of us were falling short of. That's another common characteristic of anti-feminist women: They are always exceptional.

Then the chinks in her armor started to be revealed. She was estranged from her own mother and a former (married) lover released nude photos of her. Now we know that her kid turned out to be a freak who puts violent psychotic fantasies on his website. Oh, and to make matters worse he was doing it a soldier stationed in Iraq.

BTW, she is still on the air.
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 12:41 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. "I am my kid's mom"
Well, DUH. Of course I am. It's a job I do, do well, and enjoy doing. What's implied in making that front and center, however, is a)It is a woman's entire identity b)She is solely responsible for the entire course of my child's life.
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bliss_eternal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 05:21 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Given her history...
...I get the sense that her need to be known as,"my kid's mom" is about her (stuff) history with her mother. Kind of her way of saying,"I wasn't important to my mother--MY CHILD will be THE DEFINING thing for me." Then she goes on to tell ALL mothers if they don't think this way, they are deficient as women, human beings, etc. :eyes:

Wasn't it also found that Dr. Laura wasn't even a doctor--of psychology at least?
She was dispensing all this advice based on HER beliefs, not on any psychological guidelines or tenets.

I had heard vague rumblings about her son, but not all of the details you provided. How sad. :(
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atommom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. I think she has a doctorate in physiology.
Which kinda makes me sad, because I usually like physiologists. But clearly she was too crazy to work as one.
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 11:04 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. I know what you mean
And here's what I say to that:
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mrreowwr_kittty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 06:01 PM
Response to Original message
4. As brilliant a summation of the porno/fundie dichotomy as I've ever seen
The Pope and Larry Flynt are the same asshole, IMO.
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Katherine Brengle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. A-fucking-men to that comparison.
You rock my world :).
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bliss_eternal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 09:38 PM
Response to Original message
5. Fuckin' awesome rant...!
:applause:

Yes, it gets to me too.
I'd like to comment more on this, but need some time to form my thoughts.
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atommom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-14-07 06:56 PM
Response to Original message
14. Absofrickinlutely. This is one reason I rarely read GD anymore.
I just want to learn about and discuss current events, not be reminded that I'm really just a collection of reproductive/sex-toy parts. :eyes:

Oops, almost forgot... who hates men.
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