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I wanted to know what you guys think about street harrassment

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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-15-07 11:05 AM
Original message
I wanted to know what you guys think about street harrassment
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noamnety Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-15-07 12:07 PM
Response to Original message
1. I don't think you were over reaching at all
Either in this one, or in the post where random guy created a situation by hitting on you, and then demanded your participation in the scene according to his script (now YOU tell me YOUR relationship status and who you do or don't find attractive).

It's bullying controlling aggressive behavior, meant as a display of dominance (over women).
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mrreowwr_kittty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-15-07 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
2. First of all, I wonder if the guys in that thread
Who view catcalls as compliments would feel the same way if the tables were turned? What if they couldn't walk anywhere without being subjected to loud comments and assessments? Particularly if they were coming from gay men.

Also, I marvel at the sense of entitlement that drips off of them. Like it has never even occurred to them that other people deserve consideration and that their opinions are unsolicited.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-15-07 04:04 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. The problem is, they don't feel threatened by unwanted attention.
Men, especially men who are confident in their physical strength and ability to defend themselves, will not feel threatened by cat-calls. There's no chance of someone following him, or forcing herself on him.

So even if the tables were turned, and women were cat-calling men, it wouldn't be an equivalent situation.

Maybe it's because of my disability, but I'm acutely aware of the effect of knowing that you can be overpowered or beaten. I know that people are more cautious and worried when you know someone else is stronger than you can handle. They don't get it.
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-15-07 02:06 PM
Response to Original message
3. While I view it much the same as you, I also agree with skygazer.
Some men who do it aren't deep thinkers and do it because they think it's an acceptable guy thing.
It is a crass display of domination, period.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-15-07 02:28 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. yes i agree with skygazer do
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ismnotwasm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-15-07 11:15 PM
Response to Original message
6. Not over reaching at all
The thing is, it's easy to admire a woman in a way that isn't offensive, or rude, or scary. I've seen old, brain damaged drunks do it. A healthy young man shouldn't be having all this trouble figuring out that he's behaving like a pig. In fact I think many of them do know, but they don't care (entitlement)and when called out on it, notice it will become the woman's fault somehow. Standard tactic.


Catcalls or sexist comments (as in "nice ass"), following a woman, group harassment (hey baby, come and talk to us)--all of that-- is bullshit and for the reasons you stated. (and I ALSO agree with Starbucks Anarchist)

The cultural aspect of it is interesting. Latin America is another area where in many countries "it's considered acceptable to publicly acknowledge beauty" A quote from a college director in one of my ethnic studies textbooks. (The Meaning of Difference)
Following that is this comment from a young man-- "Most of my friends do it. I don't like it when they say things to non-Spanish speaking girls. They think the guys are saying worse things than they are and get scared. A Spanish-speaking girl can defend herself in the language. In our culture it is typical. When I see then doing it to another culture I feel bad. That's why I don't do it"








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bliss_eternal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-16-07 09:33 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. It would also seem socially acceptable
Edited on Sun Sep-16-07 09:40 PM by bliss_eternal
in lower income, urban african american communities. :shrug:

Young men in such areas frequently drive around yelling at young women from cars. Frequently the young women will laugh and seem to see it as flattering. Women that get angry or rebuff such advances are seen as "uppity" or "stuck up." :shrug:

I used to see this a lot, particularly in some of the early rap videos. Guys driving up to girls on the street, some of the girls even getting in the car with them.

I'm not sure why this is deemed as socially acceptable to so many young women in such communities of color. I'm not sure if it's because so many are taught so young that "this is just the way guys behave" and "it's flattering" or "harmless" or what?

When I lived in such a community it bothered me a lot. Especially because I always rebuffed (and tried to ignore)such advances and got a lot of negative attention(and aggressive behaviour at times) in response. It wasn't always a seemingly harmless honk or someone calling out of a window as they sped by. I've seen and experienced men behaving in violent and dangerous ways (stalking, harassing, attempting to force women into a vehicles, etc.)and I didn't take that lightly.

I'm curious if this is conditioned behavior and if young women of color are conditioned to believe it's positive or to be taken lightly. If it is, it's setting them up for abusive relationships in the future--telling them that someone making unwanted advances and behaving like creeps is a good thing. :grr::mad::shrug::crazy:

I understand that women are routinely harassed and assaulted on the streets and in subways in Japan. It's a way of life for them. :crazy: How disturbing and depressing is that?

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bliss_eternal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-16-07 08:54 PM
Response to Original message
7. As one that's experienced street harassment...
Edited on Sun Sep-16-07 09:48 PM by bliss_eternal
...I don't think you're over reaching at all. It wasn't fun or cute. I didn't feel "desirable" or "wanted" as some seem to think a woman should feel about such advances. :eyes:

It was scary and made me feel powerless, vulnerable, depressed and angry.

I've seen it all. I've had guys asking me incredibly intrusive personal questions while I waited on bus stops. I've looked them in the eye, told them point blank, "I don't know you,...not interested in knowing you,...don't want to talk to you,...leave me alone,...that's none of your business" etc. Some were taken aback that I was so direct and left me alone because of that. Others seemed to take it as a challenge, and persisted.

I've seen men circle the block repeatedly, begging me to get in their cars. :eyes: Others thought telling me the bus wasn't running that day was enough to get me to get in their car with them. :eyes: Yeah--right! One went so far as to get out of his car, in an attempt to drag me to his car.

I lived in a city and state where few people recognized street harassment, because so many people have cars and have never been exposed to it. For years, I really didn't know how to think or feel about it because of that. Other women seemed to blame me, more than empathize with what I'd experienced. :crazy: You know the whole, "well, I haven't experienced that so it can't be that bad" and" "you must be exaggerating" syndrome.

When I got to college I met women from other cities and places where everyone routinely takes public transportation. They understood and could empathize with my experiences, especially women from New York I found. Prior to that, I got the usual "...what were you wearing" or "what were you doing" shit, as if to say it was MY FAULT some asshole violated my personal space and harassed me. :puke:

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