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"Notes Toward a Poem That Can Never Be Written"
For Carolyn Forché
i
This is the place you would rather not know about, this is the place that will inhabit you, this is the place you cannot imagine, this is the place that will finally defeat you
where the word why shrivels and empties itself. This is famine.
ii
There is no poem you can write about it, the sandpits where so many were buried & unearthed, the unendurable pain still traced on their skins.
This did not happen last year or forty years ago but last week. This has been happening, this happens.
We make wreaths of adjectives for them, we count them like beads, we turn them into statistics & litanies and into poems like this one.
Nothing works. They remain what they are.
iii
The woman lies on the wet cement floor under the unending light, needle marks put there to kill the brain and wonders why she is dying.
She is dying because she said. She is dying for the sake of the word. It is her body, silent and fingerless, writing this poem.
iv
It resembles an operation but it is not one
nor despite the spread legs, grunts & blood is it a birth.
Partly it's a job, partly it's a display of skill, like a concerto.
It can be done badly or well, they tell themselves.
Partly it's an art.
v
The facts of this world seen clearly are seen through tears; why tell me then there is something wrong with my eyes?
To see clearly without flinching, without turning away, this is agony, the eyes taped open two inches from the sun.
What is it you see then? Is it a bad dream, a hallucination? Is it a vision? What is it you hear?
The razor across the eyeball is a detail from an old film. It is also a truth. Witness is what you must bear.
vi
In this country you can say what you like because no one will listen to you anyway, it's safe enough, in this country you can try to write the poem that can never be written, the poem that invents nothing and excuses nothing, because you invent and excuse yourself each day.
Elsewhere, this poem is not invention. Elsewhere, this poem takes courage. Elsewhere, this poem must be written because the poets are already dead.
Elsewhere, this poem must be written as if you are already dead, as if nothing more can be done or said to save you.
Elsewhere you must write this poem because there is nothing more to do.
—Margaret Atwood
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