more of a rant than a request for advice --

[Bertha Venation]

but I'll take advice if you have any.

Several months ago, my supervisor exercised her authority in a nasty, intimidating way. Unfortunately, I didn’t see that I gave her enormous power in the situation until much later.

I had asked my boss (the man whose assistant I am) if I could change my hours on Mondays to 8:30 - 5:00, to ensure that I’d be at choir rehearsal on time on those nights. He said yes, and in fact he said “anything for music,” which told me he really didn’t have a problem with it.

I emailed my supervisor to tell her about this, and in so doing found that I’d violated procedure. (This procedure is not spelled out anywhere. I’ve looked.) I didn’t know that such a request constituted a request for flex time, and that I should have talked to her first.

Shortly after my email, she visited my boss and closed the door to his office. She was in there for quite a while. Then she came out to my cube.

My workspace is very small. I can sit in the middle of it and spin in my chair, and can just reach out and touch every surface. It’s the smallest workspace I’ve ever had, and it hasn’t been easy to adapt to it.

When my supervisor came out of my boss’s office, she stepped into my cube, stepped around me into the deepest part of the space, and leaned back on my desk to talk down at me as I sat in my chair. I didn’t realize what she was doing, or what I was doing in allowing her this violation. I was very uncomfortable but it didn’t occur to me that I could’ve done something about it.

She told me that I had not followed procedure -- and in fact acted as if I’d known the procedure, though I told her I did not. That I had in effect asked for flex time, and that such requests must be made to her. And that she was denying my request. Unfortunately, in the discussion that followed, I became emotional and tears came. This only gave her more power and I am sure she relished it.

If this violation of my space is one of the ways she has to assert her authority, she is very insecure. And what exactly constitutes a hostile work environment? Because when I am near this person I feel nothing but hostility. I don’t know if it is just because I messed up in not following procedure or because this is the way she is, but she oozes hostility and it’s very intimidating.

This has stayed with me all these months, and I realized last night that it’s affecting me badly. I have since resolved that if she tries to get into my space again -- or to stand too closely to me in a discussion, which she also does -- I will back her off. I don’t fear my supervisor, but I do loathe her. I don’t want anything to do with this person; unfortunately I have no choice but to deal with her.

This is affecting me daily. It’s not major as workplace problems go, but I am anxious at work, and I ought not to be. I don’t believe I’m at the point of making a complaint. I don't even know what the complaint would be.

[elleng]

1. Sorry to hear about this.

It seems to me you followed the logical procedure, as you asked your direct boss to determine whether or not your plan would be convenient for the office. He/she should have informed you about 'proper' procedure, imo. Sounds like boss was subjected to somewhat similar reprimand, as you said supervisor spent a lot of time in there talking.

If there's no other action about which you might complain, I can't think of why you would do so. Your emotions need help. Maybe seek therapy-type help?

Chin up.

[DaveJ]

2. Therapy, or the Bluepill maybe??

Stories like this make me sad... millions of people confined to 4 ft cubicles, and in this case, told they can't even attend choir, and everyone thinks, 'oh yeah that's normal.' I'd bet her work has no time constraints that would realistically prevent her from attending, and it all is just a power play by management in general and her boss specifically.

She has to be confined to a tiny cubicle during daylight hours, not of her choosing, and can't even think about getting another job because "people are lucky to have a job these days." Employers don't even have the decency to offer a little comfort. Except in major downtown areas a little more space should not be cost prohibitive, but it's done so "management" can show dominance over the workers. I noticed her trying to chin up by saying she has a tiny cubicle 'so everything is in reach' but really, that's just sad. We are one step away from corporations throwing us all into pods.

I've heard stories like this, supervisors who are simply horrible people. They have their jobs just because they like to bully others. Or they have superiority complexes or something, I dunno how to explain these horrible people, and really don't want to. Granted, there may be some people who don't know how to keep a job, and those people might benefit from therapy, but in this situation, the work environment sounds despicable, and what's sad is that it's actually typical.

[2Design]

3. having someone physically talked down to you is a power play

when it happened to me, I too had difficulty with it, it was like being told off or you are bad, or some other parenting move - just way out of line - the next time I saw that person in a meeting, I would not sit down and met them eye ball to eye ball - can't say it turned out better but I did not feel intimidated or put down or shamed. I was glad not to work with the person anymore, she was not going to be a good match.