Our, yes, OUR, ladies

[frustrated_lefty]

Somewhere between 1 in 4 and 1 and 2 women in your life have been raped. Chances are, you really have no way of understanding how your partner is, was, or will be affected. Most women don't talk about it with their partners because the partners don't know how to shut up.

You can't fix it. You don't get to be the hero. You can't even create a place where that can't ever happen. The world does its own thing without your permission.

The only thing you can do with any merit whatsoever is to hold your loved one, let her know you still cherish her, she sometimes blinds you with her beauty and her strength. That's your mom, that's your wife, that's your baby girl.

Let's do better by our ladies, gentlemen.

[Maraya1969]

1. A man said to me once: "I am so sorry for what happened to you"

It meant the world to me.

And thank you Lefty for being so kind and helping others to be so too.

[frustrated_lefty]

5. Mrs Maraya1969

I, too, am sorry for what happened to you.

Nothing any of us can say makes up for it.

I'd offer you a poem and hope it wished the memories away,
but lies suck to the giver and to the given.
Pretty words offer too much denial.

YOU are a brave woman, a strong woman.
Pity the fool who fails to see that.

[Suich]

2. Your last sentence sums it up.

Thankfully, I've not been a victim. It would be nice if I felt like we (women) weren't fighting this battle by ourselves.

Thanks.

[TomInTib]

3. You are painting with a broad brush...

There are those of us that understand that true chivalry, understanding, empathy, and unconditional love are vital elements of the balance.

[bliss_eternal]

4. self delete

:hi:

[TomInTib]

6. Ya know, bliss_...

I am totally ambivalent on the Duke thing.

That whole mess has become so webby that I hope cooler heads will prevail and leave the thing up to the Grand Jury and/or court system.
It will be ugly, no matter what the outcome.

I wish this ugliness would focus on the 1 of 4 college girls who will be sexually assaulted during their "higher education".

And then there is the matter of the population at large.
If 1 of 4 college-aged females are victims, then where does that leave the ever-so-more-mature-every-day high schoolers?

Those old pervs in Congress don't care enough to look into it.

O K, the wine is starting to speak thru me. I am out of here.
Guitar time.

[frustrated_lefty]

7. Yes and no.

Topics here have been devisive of late. It's viscerally painful at times. You point out a lot of good things us guys ( and chicks too!) can aspire to, and it's all good. :)

You specify a lot of good things. Sometimes, even if all of that is in check, somebody gets hurt.

Bleh, my life is confused at the moment. My suspicion, though, is that we can all be gentler with each other.

[TomInTib]

8. Every action or reaction creates both a postive and a negative

That is just the way the whole thing works.

So if we (as a person or a people) can provide the "positive" then we have given what we can give.

[fleabert]

9. A great song, written by men to a woman they knew....

I heard this in person for the first time right after I graduated from high school, it brought me to tears immediately. It was the first time I heard men speak this way about rape.

Toad the Wet Sprocket
from the album: Fear (a fantastic fucking album, btw)

Hold Her Down

take her arms and hold her down...
until she stops kicking
take her arms and hold her down...
until she she stops moving

and they don't know her
but what the fuck
they've got nothing else they can do
and they've no reason but still they come
and i would have a hard time facing you
this crime
the shame of what a man can do

take her arms and hold her down...
until she stops screaming
take her arms and hold her down...
until she stops breathing

and they don't know her
but what the fuck
they've got nothing else they can do
and they've no reason but still they come
and i would have a hard time facing you
this crime
the shame of what a man can do

take the night back

all they've stolen

all we took from you

[Oversea Visitor]

10. This your country

Your world, your future daughter need to live in it,

I am sorry but that figure is just way to high compare to any other countries in the world.
US need not be a paradise, but does it need to be hell?

[unschooler]

12. I don't know what the numbers are exactly, but there is too much

violence of all kinds in the U.S.. I don't know why that is.

Can an Oversea Visitor shed any light on it?

[Ecumenist]

11. Thank you FrustratedLefty

That means so much to women like me. I survived childhood rape, physical, mental and emotional abuse. And despite what was implied on another earlier thread, I was raped two days after my 21st birthday by another man who I thought was a longterm friend. It means everything in the world for the pain that so many women , and although it isn't talked about as much, men to read, hear and feel wthat there are people determined to make a difference.
So Thank you, Frustrated. A few thousand more people like you and somehow, I believe that this world would be far better place.:hug:

[unschooler]

13. I'm so sorry for what someone did to you.

My God. Who would do that to a child? :cry:

[Ecumenist]

14. There are EXTREMELY sick people ie the world, trust me

This happened to me every day for a year from the time I was 5 until I was a bit past 6 years old.