HUGE RANT ABOUT GOVERNMENT SLOGANS

[SammyBlue]

:rant:
Okay, folks. . .I am the Modern Day Cynic. I am about the most cynical person on the planet. Today, we're discussing Government slogans.

And I'm not talking about slogans like "The Bush Administration: Four more Wars, forty more lies" or "Paul Wolfowitz: Poster Boy for teeth whitening."

No, I'm talking about the stupid slogans that police and schools come up with.

One school puts down "Excellence in Bell to Bell learning." NO SHIT!!! ISN'T THAT YOUR FUCKING JOB!?!?!?! Why do we need to be told in some stupid slogan how much your school rocks? What, do you teach addition differently that everyone else? Do you brainwash and indoctrinate your students to be the mindless drones corporate America wants better than the other school down the road?

Why have we turned schools in quasi businesses, complete with touchy-feely slogans to make the schools feel good about themselves? One High School's slogan is "High Expectations for Student Success." Do we need this shit? Do we need a High School selling themselves like this?

I blame the NCLB and the Bush Administration. See, the right wing's goal is to make people dumber than they are, keeping the electorate stupid and ignorant, therefore the elites of the country, the ultra rich and the plutocratic theocracy that wants to take over this country will continue to stick their huge G-d like dick up our asses and we'll be to stupid to realize how badly we're getting fucked! Usually, I get kissed before I get fucked. . .not with the NCLB and the Bush adminstration. I get kissed with sandpaper and my asshole is not a bloody, gaping mess!

Police are another one. Here in Tucson, on each cruiser is the slogan "TPD: Ready to Protect; Proud to Serve." Yeah. . .let's examine this:

"Ready to Protect." You fucktards actually need to be reminded that your job is protect us? First, who's going to protect us from you? Secondly, you shouldn't have to be reminded to protect. . .it is what you're supposedly taught when you get out of the academy, assholes! Well, that and everyone is a criminal, except your badge wearing criminal fucks!

"Proud to Serve:" Well, isn't that enlightening. These people, who are two steps above a ditchdigger (one step is a cadet in the academy) are Proud to serve us! AND THEY NEED TO BE REMINDED THAT THEY ARE PROUD TO SERVE!!!! Well, get me a glass of fucking water, if you're proud to serve! If you arrest someone, will you say "thank you for being arrested by the Tucson Police Department. You got served!" Seriously, this shit isn't necessary.

Albuquerque PD has the worst slogan: "In Step With Our Community." Hmmmm. . .I wonder what scandal caused that slogan? Maybe they went the NYPD route and some officers moonlighted as mafia hitmen. Maybe the Police Chief told the Mayor to go fuck himself! Albuquerque's police are "in step with our coummunity." Jesus Christ, I would fucking hope so!

All these slogans and governmental sayings are meaningless. No school should have to tell the work that they "excel in bell to bell learning" or that they have "high expectations for student success." No police agency should have to be reminded that they should be "ready to protect" and "proud to serve." And no police agenct should be told that they need to be "in step with our community." But the most laughable slogans are the military ones.

"Be all you can be. Be an Army of one." Who are their competition? "Yeah. . .that US Army is good. . .but I WANT TO BE PART OF Dave's Army." WTF!?!?!?!

How about some truth in advertising if they are going to have slogans? "US Military. Come blow up Iraqi children, then come home at night in a box with no fan fare because the coke addled President doesn't want reminders that his little adventure was a huge mistake."

Too wordy? How about "US Military. Standing on the front line, your pay is cut. Crippled at home, your benefits are cut. Come sign up for the fun?"

Yeah, that will work!
:rant: