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Aviation Pro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:01 PM
Original message
Just read the Da Vinci Code...
My question for all the fundie whack jobs out there, you know the "end timers" who are praying for the incineration of the Earth, is, what happens if Jesus comes back as a woman?

Guess all of you rapture nut jobs will be totally fucked.
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Lerkfish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. not defending the whackjobs, but I'm unclear how that
messes them up?

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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:23 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Guess because of their conception of woman's role in society.
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:25 PM
Response to Original message
3. i just read it too a. pro
My question - couldn't Jesus be devine and have a wife and kids? :shrug:
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Sinti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:33 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. The problem is the Jesus is God and God is Jesus thing
I've had a hell of a time wrapping my head around this, but apparently Jesus is God, the Holy Spirit is God, and God is God. This is how the Trinity maintains itself as monotheism. They are all one -- makes my head spin a little. To me Trinity means three separate entities that come together as a team, but hey, what do I know. Nonetheless, if he had kids they would be half-gods - therein lies the rub.

Personally, I thought Jesus was a rabbi. A rabbi in his 30s back then would have been married, methinks. Hell, a rabbi now in his 30s is probably married. It's kind of common sense. Again, what do I know - I think god is an unknowable thing, and humans should concentrate on being good humans, and making a better earth for themselves, other humans and animals to live on :shrug:
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teknomanzer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:50 PM
Response to Reply #5
10. Maybe its like one of those Japanese mecha-droids...
maybe they are modular, kind of like Voltron or the Power Rangers...

The Father, the Son, and the Holy spirit... each fight separately, yet as a team, against the evil of the Devil, but when the going gets really rough they change form and unite to form THE ALMIGHTY!
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Sinti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:04 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. LOL - what an awesome short-run comic that would make n/t
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Clark2008 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:07 PM
Response to Reply #5
13. Take it from Robbie Coltrain (Nuns on the Run)
"The Holy Trinity is like a clover leaf - small and green, with a stalk!"
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:11 PM
Response to Reply #5
14. Jesus was more then a rabbi. He evolved past even the Chasidim
Chasidim are the saints... those who've embraced benevolence in all things and who become exempt from wheel of rebirth.
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Sinti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:45 PM
Response to Reply #14
23. Some folks would call this attaining Buddha-hood ;) n/t
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 06:26 PM
Response to Reply #23
27. Just So. Saints & Buddhas may start out married but usually leave their
"old life" behind.

Like Moses and Milarepa.
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jokerman93 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #5
19. And then there's that whole...
Judas/Jesus manlove thing...

What's a fundie to do???
:crazy:
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terip64 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:41 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. I aked my daughter's fundie ex boyfriend that question and he about died..
Personally, Christ sinned at least twice before possibly having sex. Once at the temple, he was mad but it wasn't his stuff. A sin, hands down. I know because I spent a lot of time outside the confessional searching for a 'real' sin to tell the priest and trashing people's stuff would have worked. Also, he ran away from his mother at 12 and that is most certainly a sin. Just ask your mother.

Now, if he already sinned, why not have sex? I believe what I read in the book and personally think that sex is a gift from God. Why wouldn't He have a go at it? :shrug:

Makes no sense to me that he wouldn't. Fundies just about throw up at the thought of it. They are too uptight for me. Why pretend you know for sure when none of us really know? Insecurity, that's why. I know I do my best most days and that whatever the source is I am on the right side of it. I say live a little and mind your business and all will be fine.


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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. Because a relationship like that requires compromises, and God doesn't...
do compromises.

Now quit asking questions before he smites us all.

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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:32 PM
Response to Original message
4. the bible was quite clear on this topic....
The SON of god was a dude. After all, a female offspring of the big kahuna might have been legitimately left to die of exposure, or dropped down a well or something, and in any event would have had to get married and have lots of holy ghost babies rather than kicking pharisee ass and stuff. She'd have been frumpy by the time she was twenty, not telegenic and studly and surf-dog like. I mean COME ON. If Jesus was a chick we'd all be muslims or something.
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. the bible is a book of MYTHology...you can find it under 500 at
the library

why not quibble with the historical accuracy/meaning of Gone With the Wind or Alice in Wonderland?

this whole brouhaha is one of the funniest things I've ever seen
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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 04:48 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. do you think I should have used...
...the :sarcasm: thingie?
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Clark2008 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #8
15. Again - why are some of you atheists as intolerant as the fundies?
Edited on Sun Apr-30-06 05:16 PM by Clark2008
I like you, Gabi, but this Christian bashing is beyond the pale.

And, no, I don't think I'm prosecuted. No, I don't think you're going to hell. But, I do think that calling out all Christians and alleging they believe in mythology shows as much tolerance as a fundie does for real Christianity, which is very little.

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Media_Lies_Daily Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:33 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. How is the comment Gabi made "calling out all Christians"?....
...I thought Gabi was expressing a personal opinion...am I wrong?
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. YES! of course you are.
the bible is the ineffable word of god, handed down from, well, him to.....lots of people, right?

I'm sorry for being so callous

I apologize, Jesus/Mary/Joseph/Yaweh

can I come upstairs now?
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Clark2008 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:38 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. Read my post below.
You don't have to believe the same as I do, just don't trash me for it.

That's all.

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Clark2008 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:37 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. It is his personal opinion, but he states it as though it's
Edited on Sun Apr-30-06 05:40 PM by Clark2008
fact in stone.

If he'd said, "I BELIEVE" or "I THINK it's mythology," well, I wouldn't have had a problem with it.

He thinks it's mythology, I don't - and neither one of us can prove it - therefore, it's all faith-based. Even his atheism (or agnotisic opinion, whichever) is still based on his faith just as my Christianity is.

FWIW, my husband is a Jewish agnostic. LOL.

PS - Gabi has one of my favorite sig line pics. :hi:
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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 06:38 PM
Response to Reply #20
29. Campbell warned us of this power...lol. n/t
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teknomanzer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:48 PM
Response to Reply #15
24. There is no intolerance in referring to any religion as myth...
Edited on Sun Apr-30-06 05:53 PM by teknomanzer
I wonder why people are offended by having their religion referred to as mythology. I think it may be a matter of interpretation in language. Just because something is Mythological doesn't mean it is not true. Mythology differs greatly from 'fairy tales' and fantasy. Mythology speaks to an underlying spiritual and psychological truth. Myths are about the observed and unobserved nature of reality and the human experience in that reality.

So... Christianity is a myth... The ideas and themes that most christians hold as literal are common to almost every other belief system on the planet. Virgin birth, the dying and resurrected god, the temptation of the hero, the heroes quest to redeem mankind, the hero's ascension to the heavens... all these themes and more are held in common with beliefs all over the world... The stories context and substance are slightly different shaped by cultural background, but the underlying themes are unmistakable. Why? Because, as I said, myth speaks of an underlying spiritual and psychological truth.

The mystics of each religion seek the meaning behind the myths. Which is why some people spend so much time contemplating the passion or meditating on the stations of the cross. Fundamentalists and legalists have a tendency to believe in a literal interpretation of the myth and miss its meaning altogether. Unfortunately true mystics are few and far between and most common worshipers fit more into the legalist category. Which is a shame, especially for Christianity because one of the biggest parts of the New Testament story deals with the conflict between the legalist view (pharisees) and the mystic view (represented by followers of Jesus)

I could go on and on about this but then I would have to write a book... so for now I'll just recommend someone else's books... Joseph Campbell is a good read, Carl Jung also, and a dose of Huston Smith couldn't hurt either.
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SidDithers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 06:04 PM
Response to Reply #15
25. Christian bashing?...
:rofl:

Sid
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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 07:52 PM
Response to Reply #15
30. with all due respect sister...
Edited on Sun Apr-30-06 07:56 PM by mike_c
...it's a fairy tale, used to control society during the middle ages, that's gotten entirely out of hand.

on edit: in deference, I think it's a fairy tale that's gotten entirely out of hand.
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Clark2008 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 09:39 PM
Response to Reply #30
32. And I think it's not.
But, I'll agree that the fundies have made it completely go out of hand.

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Alleycat Donating Member (992 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
11. An uncle of mine was a major bigot in life
Basically if you were not a white, heterosexual, male he had no use for you. He used all the derogatory terms for different races and ethnicities, he once told me that
I should not be working because I took away a job from a man. He was 82 years old and remained nasty right to the end. My cousin used to joke that God didn't want him and neither did the devil. At his funeral my cousin came out with a gem - "we can only hope now that God is a "black gay woman" I would love to see his face when he went to the pearl gates to pass judgment. I am positive that he did not get in!
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AnnInLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:27 PM
Response to Original message
16. When I told my aunt that God was a woman,
she said that there was no way that God or Jesus was a woman, and she had proof....she has seen their pictures in murals and stained windows at church! sigh
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Igel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
22. Interesting novel, no?
Not necessarily up there with some sci-fi novels or tales, but entertaining in its own right. Certainly better than some space westerns.

On the other hand, how will people obsessed with gender roles and the supporting physiology react when Jesus comes back neuter? (That's what the mythology says, after all.)
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politrix Donating Member (163 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #22
26. EVERYONE Is An Atheist
It depends on WHO you ask.

To Hindus, Christians, Muslims and Jews don't believe in God.

To Christians, Hindus, Muslims and Jews don't believe in God.

To Jews, Hindus, Christians, and Muslims don't believe in God.

To Muslims, Hindus, Christians, and Jews don't believe in God.

Atheists and Agnostics just disbelieve in ONE MORE GOD than all those others. Not much difference at all.


www.jesusneverexisted.com/ - Interesting site.
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Mizmoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 06:37 PM
Response to Original message
28. For what it's worth, since everyone loves to bash Christians ...
When I was little in the 70s I saw a painting of "Black Jesus" on the TV show "Good Times". It made me think and I asked my Catholic Church school nun if Jesus was black. This is a woman who was so stodgy she actually wore the black robes and headcovering at all times. She often talked about her childhood during the Great Depression, when she wasn't allowed to run and play because she might wear out her only shoes. She told me that Jesus appeared to each person to be of their own race. She said that was the power of the Holy Spirit.

Yeah, I don't know where she got that either, but the point is that they're not all bad. I'm not sure they'd be all that stumped by the "what if Jesus came back as a female" question.
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BlueAlert Donating Member (51 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-30-06 08:27 PM
Response to Reply #28
31. If Jesus came back as a Male or a Female...
I'm pretty sure all the atheists and agnostics would be saying. "HOLY S---!!!!!!!!!!"
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