creepy story of the day: "3 men tried to steal corpse for sex."

[MnFats]

http://wcco.com/topstories/local_story_248175226.html
Wisconiites.....what's up with this?

Three Wisconsin men have been charged with attempted misdemeanor theft and third-degree sexual assault after attempting to steal a corpse from a cemetery to have sex with it, police said.

According to the Grant County criminal complaint, Cassville police were dispatched to the St. Charles Cemetery in Cassville, Wis. last Saturday at 11 p.m. on a report of an unoccupied, suspicious vehicle.

Officer Brent McDonald discovered Alexander Caleb Grunke, 20, near the vehicle, sweating and appearing to be nervous. Authorities then located the grave that Grunke told McDonald had been dug up by his brother Nicholas Owen and their friend Dustin Blake Radke, both also 20 years old. The grave had been dug up enough to expose the plaque on the vault below.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. ...

[gatorboy]

12. Heh!!!

Best show on television.

"It is my doody- Why are you lauging??"

[bluerum]

2. Gallagher said, "even when you are dead they will try to screw you."

Or something like that.

[Lautremont]

3. Well, at least they were going to do it safely:

"...they stopped at a Wal-Mart in Dodgeville, Wis. to buy condoms for Nick to use while having sex with the corpse."

Gahhh.

[swimmernsecretsea]

5. STILL GROSS!

Condoms?! Sheesh! That shows waaaay too much planning went into this.

[rodeodance]

4. umm.. I heard of the incident but not the reason why.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

7. The reason why?

Um, to get back at their dead boyfriend?

[Dogmudgeon]

6. Fear Factor, Greek Edition

(With my apologies to all ethnic Greeks, Grecians, and other Helenes.)

--p!

[Gregorian]

8. That gives a whole new meaning to "hard up".

Come up to the lab, and see what's on the slab.

Yuck! And I felt badly about being single for so long. Hey, I can brag now.

[tanyev]

9. Oh, come on! They're in Wisconsin!

There's gotta be plenty of easy access to farm animals.

[Archae]

15. PPBBLLTT!!!

At least we didn't send that POS to the White House! :P :-)

[Devlzown]

10. Just how dead was this body?

A few days -- a few years?

[Poll_Blind]

11. Good lord! What the hell. I mean, ok, I can imagine necrophiliacs only..

...as adults but what the hell is going on in a kid's mind? To get that crazy, I figure it's like making oil- it just takes time and pressure. And worse, what's up with the two corpse-humping "enablers". I mean, the would-be corpse-humper obviously has some very, very serious problems that just don't stop with his haircut. But his friends? WTF's their excuse? That's the scarier part to me. Unless it's easier for a male friend to convince two other male friends to dig up a corpse for him to have sex with than you'd imagine. Maybe they were going to put it on YouTube or MySpace? This sort of thing should stop and pointing out the easy girls to your friends at parties.

Whomever thought up the condoms: nice touch. You certainly don't want your friend to catch anything, you know, creepy, simulating intercourse with a corpse except, of course, whatever the hell they caught that made them crazy enough to want to simulate sex with a corpse in the first place. I guess I should be glad their kick wasn't shooting up their school but still, the shit that people get up to...astounds me in its weirdness.

PB

[htuttle]

13. Hey, just be glad they didn't eat it!

Apparently our 'Just Say No to Cannibalism' programs are working!

[lectrobyte]

14. The Republicans are delighted to hear their abstinence programs

are working so well that young men have to resort to corpses, but they are rather concerned that condoms are still available.

[dipsydoodle]

16. Reminds me of the old Tom Lehrer song

I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.

My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir.

The night you died I cut it off,
I really don't know why.
For now each time I kiss it
I get bloodstains on my tie.

I'm sorry now I killed you,
For our love was something fine,
And till they come to get me
I shall hold your hand in mine.

Remembering such stuff is age related - trust me. :)

[lectrobyte]

17. Or they took Alice Cooper way too seriously

One thing I miss is Cold Ethyl and her skeleton kiss
We met last night making love by the refrigerator light
Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms

One thing
No lie
Ethyl's frigid as an eskimo pie
She's cool in bed
Well she oughta be 'cuz Ethyl's dead

Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms
Come on Cold Ethyl
Freeze me babe

One thing - it's true
Cold Ethyl I am stuck on you
And everything is my way
Ethyl don't have much to say

Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms
Come here Cold Ethyl
What makes you so cold? Ooh so cold

Cold Ethyl
Cold Cold Ethyl
If I live 'til ninety-seven
You'll still be waiting in refrigerator heaven
'cuz you're cool
You're ice
Cold Ethyl
You're my paradise

[dipsydoodle]

18. Cool

Didn't know that one. :)

[liberaldemocrat7]

19. Oh Damn why didn't they buy a REAL DOLL (tm) instead.

Geez, these losers have to do this?

Throw the book at them and put them away for 5 years.