Help Katie come up with a nightly sign-off.

[tanyev]

Hey, they asked for it.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/09/05/eveningnews/main1967335.shtml

Mine:

How about "Navy Seals Rock!" whilst waving red, white and blue pom poms and flashing those great legs?

If my idea wins, please email me. I won't know because I'm never watching CBS Evening News ever again.

[tabasco]

1. .

[thepurpose]

2. Here ya go

[applegrove]

3. Does she have a "see through" desk like Mary Hart? Cause otherwise

no point in mentioning the "gams'. Nobody every talked about the perfect triangle that was the torso of the male anchors.... Wait a second.. I did!

We do like our news to be the "full package".

Sad but true!

She could say "And that is the way I'd like it to be".

[tanyev]

7. Oh, they added a special little chat segment around a coffee table

just so she could show a little leg. Natch. They could have her standing for the end of the newscast. That's all the rage at some of our local stations. (Distracting as all get-out, too.)

[Bucky]

37. I don't think it would be appropriate to show Katie Couric's...

..."perfect triangle", even if it does bring in the ratings. Well, not until sweeps month that is.

[applegrove]

46. I was thinking.. Tom BroKaw, Peter Jennings.. all the guys done up

in fancy trench coats & suits and ties. Whoever calls women a triangle? :eyes: The triangle is the broad sholders...

[Seeking Serenity]

4. How about . . .

swirling her pencil on a piece of paper on her desk and saying "That's the news and I am outta here." No, wait, I think that's been done.

How about, "This has been the CBS Eveneing News. I'm Katie Couric. Peace out, dawgs!"

Or, "I'm Katie Couric. Impeach Bush!"

Or, "I'm Katie Couric, and here's hoping you can sleep on a big pile of money like I do!"

[zanne]

5. Fuck you and good night.

I've been trying to stay away from language like that, but wouldn't it be spectacular if she did that? The executives' would have to pick their chins up off their desks!

[Fridays Child]

6. She can't come up with her own sign-off and they're paying her HOW much?

How about this: "Proving that money can't buy brains, I'm Katie Couric. Good night."

[Bucky]

38. Well all the good ones've been taken. Like "I'm Kevin Nealon & that's..."

news to me." That's the best of the SNL tag lines, tho from one of the weaker anchors.

[RB TexLa]

8. Just roll the credits

Are we that stupid we need the person reading the news to tell us the show is over?

[Subdivisions]

9. "And that's the way it spins. Good night."

[jackstraw45]

10. "Free speech is a privilege"

Oh, wait, she already informed us tonight, COMRADES.

[Bluebear]

16. Da.

[TroglodyteScholar]

31. Yea, that's what popped into my head...

"Mistaking inalienable rights for privileges, I'm Katie Couric. Good night."

[Oeditpus Rex]

11. 'G'night, Grace. G'night, Leo.

Karen — call me!" (wink)

[polemic_realism]

12. how about

"Thanks for watching. I'm Katie Couric, and apparently that's good enough these days."

[Jeanette in FL]

17. That's a keeper

Welcome to DU. I like it.

[karlrschneider]

13. "Nitey night and lotsa fuckin' luck"

:eyes:

[eShirl]

14. "Heil Hitler"

"I mean, God Bless President George Double-U Bush"

[Bluebear]

15. "Vapid!"

a la "Courage"?

[Missy Vixen]

18. Rock on, peeps

Then again, if she broadcast in the nude, I wouldn't know. I haven't watched CBS Evening News in five years, I'll bet.

Julie

[derby378]

19. I'm Katie Couric, and the Bush administration approved this newscast.

That's the first idea that came to my head...more later.

[IChing]

20. She needs to show this at the end

[izzybeans]

21. "Go fuck your self America."

[derby378]

22. Maybe Katie should just flash her panties at the camera instead...

With a big ol' GOP elephant printed on the seat. Now that's class.

[tanyev]

24. Go GOP! Yay team!

[LaPera]

23. Until next time, republican whore Katie saying; Don't think for yourself

---- Believe the right-wing bullshit just I fed you! - Good Night!

[KamaAina]

25. "I'm Katie Couric. Good night,

all you miserable worthless Wal-Mart-shopping peons who... HEY! Damn you, TelePrompTer guy! You tricked me!!! NOOOOOOO!!"

[Justice Is Comin]

26. I'f I'm still here tomorrow

there's something wrong with the network.

[derby378]

27. I'm Katie Couric, and I call this routine "THE ARISTOCRATS!"

[IChing]

28. LOL.....Ha,ha ha, that was funny thanks only if you know the joke

which I do...

[derby378]

32. You should PM me real quick

If I say anything else here, the admins will smack me. :evilgrin:

[flvegan]

33. YES!!

That's beautiful.

[americanstranger]

29. Go Fuck Yerself, America!

- as

[undeterred]

30. I'm KC and I'd read erotica or hate speech in my birthday suit

if they told me to, because that's how much they're paying me.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

34. "We're Stilllllllllll Fucked. I'm Katie Couric, Goodnight"

[derby378]

35. I'm Katie Couric, and I'll be here all decade!

Try the veal! You've been a lovely and easily misled audience! G'night!

[annabanana]

36. Boop Boop a Doop!. . . . . .n/t

[Bucky]

39. "I'm Katie Couric. All this and brains, too! Good night."

[rug]

40. "And no, I am not Rachel Ray."

[The Gunslinger]

41. Sieg Heil

[Jack Rabbit]

42. Hmmm . . .

Good night and good luck. No, that was Murrow's.

And that's the way it is . . . No, that one belonged to Cronkite.

Good night, Chet. Good night, David, and good night for NBC News. No, that's the wrong network anyway.

Let me think about this one. This might be hard.

[GeorgeGist]

43. "Was it as good for you...

as it was for me?"

[Skip Intro]

44. "And that's the way it is...here in Barbie land, now go have a bubblebath"

[LTR]

45. I'm Katie Couric, and fuck all y'all!

[Democrat 4 Ever]

47. Th-th-th-th-th-that's all folks! Well, she IS a cartoon. n/t

[bluedog]

48. Who am I....What am I doing Here? n/t

[razors edge]

49. I gotta bottle of Quaalude's

and a fistful off downs

and i'm gonna get ripped

so fuck you clowns


(Zappa)

[SammyWinstonJack]

50. I like your idea!

:applause: :yourock: :evilgrin:

[notadmblnd]

51. This has been katie couric and cbs evening news...

as always, catapulting the propaganda to you.

[me b zola]

57. Ha! You stole my suggestion

Are you going to e-mail it in?

[notadmblnd]

60. grate minds think alike.

:hi:

[notadmblnd]

61. go for it.

I'm too tired

[alfredo]

52. fire up the bong, I'm coming home.

[mitchum]

53. "Tee hee"

[Generic Other]

54. Stay perky and don't bogart that joint

:)

[Fuzz]

55. "You've seen up my ass, what is left say?"

[tech3149]

56. I started to read the replies but couldn't finish

My closing would be " Fuck You and Good Night" or "I got mine so screw you" or "see my next colonoscopy" (including a great head shot)

[Stardust]

63. Well, that's pretty much it for yer ol' buddy, Seymour Butts, Watch yer

back.

[bridgit]

58. "And remember, free speech is not a privilege...

"It's an American right."

[Neshanic]

59. Like Rather's "Courage". She should just say "Perky" and tilt her

empty fucking head like a demented parrot.

[Rincewind]

62. How about

How about " All my predecessors were real journalists, I'm just fluff. If you want real news, go to the internet."

[calimary]

64. See you in the "koffee klatch"?

Although I do like the "Courage"-type sign-off - "Perky!"

[mykpart]

65. Buh-bye!

or "Toodle!"

[Evoman]

66. Every night, someone can give her this.

[City Lights]

67. Since she loves Rush enough to invite him onto her show, I suggested

a Rush quote:

Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream. :evilgrin:

[maine_raptor]

68. Oh hell

Just have her fake an orgasm.............that'll draw the viewers in.

Jeesh.

[Hubert Flottz]

69. "If you believed the shit I told you tonight I have some swamp...

land I'd like to sell you ASAP!"

[Scurrilous]

70. "You still here?" n/t

[LynneSin]

71. Bringing you the Perkiest Slant for the Bush Regime

:D

[tanyev]

72. "I'm Katie Couric...watering down the news so it's easier to swallow."

"G'night!"

[Vickers]

73. "Buh-bye."

:P

[LibertyLover]

74. I wrote:

How about "I quit. Good night."? Husband and I watched for comic relief and than switched to BBC News. Talk about night and day differences.

[rainbow4321]

75. "x number of days til the Bush dictatorship nightmare is OVER"

Nightly countdown would be appropriate.....