The Bill of Privileges:

[originalpckelly]

Amendment 1: The privilege to bitch and moan,
You may to bitch and moan, so long as you don't get any silly ideas about democracy.

Amendment 2: The privilege of owning guns,
You may own guns because they are useless against F-16s, if you get any silly ideas about democracy.

Amendments 3-10 Redacted

[smtpgirl]

1. Katie Couric SUCKS ANYWAY

why would you do this, she is such drivel!!!

[originalpckelly]

2. Well someone has to make fun of her.(nt)

[benEzra]

3. Bill of Rights Pared Down to Six (from the Onion)

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27610

WASHINGTON, DC—Flanked by key members of Congress and his administration, President Bush approved Monday a streamlined version of the Bill of Rights that pares its 10 original amendments down to a "tight, no-nonsense" six.

...

Calling the historic reduction "a victory for America," Bush promised that the new document would do away with "bureaucratic impediments to the flourishing of democracy at home and abroad."

"It is high time we reaffirmed our commitment to this enduring symbol of American ideals," Bush said. "By making the Bill of Rights a tool for progress instead of a hindrance to freedom, we honor the true spirit of our nation's forefathers."

Ashcroft added that, thanks to several key additions, the Bill of Rights now offers protections that were previously lacking, including the right to be protected by soldiers quartered in one's home (Amendment III), the guarantee that activities not specifically delegated to the states and people will be carried out by the federal government (Amendment VI), and freedom of Judeo-Christianity and non-combative speech (Amendment I).