Security Theater

[GoneOffShore]

Today, I was a participant in a theatre piece. It didn’t take place on stage or at a ‘performance space’ but in 30th Street Station in Philadelphia. I didn’t rehearse my part nor did the other hundred people who were part of the performance. I’m sure that most of them didn’t even know they had a part. Certainly the stars of the show, two Amtrak police officers, weren’t aware that they had just become actors in a play staged for the benefit of the participants. They didn’t even know they had an audience.

I was taking the 8:22AM train to New York. I had gotten my ticket from the QuikTrak machine, having reserved via the Internet and then bought my coffee. The track was announced and we all dutifully lined up at the top of Stairway 3, anxious to get a seat and head off to our destinations. We all had business to do, friends to meet. As I joined the queue, I noticed two Amtrak policemen working their way along it. They were speaking to each passenger and passing out colourful little tags, with white elastic strings attached. I wasn’t sure what was going on and worried about the “No Bush” button on my messenger bag.

I heard the taller policeman speak to the man in front of me, “Excuse me, sir. Do you have a luggage tag on your bag? If you don’t, please put one of these on it. I wouldn’t like to prevent you from getting on the train.” He then handed him one of the colourful little tags. “This is just in case you get separated from your luggage.”

He got to me, “Excuse me, sir. Do you have a luggage tag on your bag?”
“I’m not sure, but it’s got my laptop in it and I never let it out of my sight.”
“Well sir, please put one of these on it. I wouldn’t like to prevent you from getting on the train. This is just in case you get separated from your luggage.” He handed me a tag and moved on to the next person, repeating the same speech. Almost without thinking, I balanced the tag on top of my takeaway coffee, got out a pen and filled it out. Now, I did this with barely a thought, until I had finished with the tag and was dutifully attaching it to my bag.

As I fiddled with the elastic, juggling takeaway coffee, breakfast pastry, messenger bag and pen, I was struck with the thought that I had just been unwittingly drafted into a piece of “Security Theatre.” And that today, whether we like it or not, we are all actors in a play called “Security Theatre.”

How do you know when you have just seen or participated in a piece of “Security Theatre?” It’s easy. Look for police in a public place, festooned with all sorts of SWAT team cop equipment - what Neal Stephenson called the “chandelier of gear”- inspecting every slightly odd looking civilian who passes by. Watch these same policemen or National Guardsmen or Homeland Security types set up a “random” check of passengers or luggage. You know that they are not going to find anything - real terrorists know how to avoid these situations - but they are playing a part. They are putting on a piece called “Security Theatre” meant to reassure us that the “Government” is doing something about the “Terrorist Threat”. The real tragedy is that they don’t even know that they are window dressing. Are they really going to start firing automatic weapons in a crowded train station or airport? Are they going to actually be able to stop a suicide bomber? Is having people put luggage tags on their briefcases going to make any difference? You know the answer. It’s no. But it’s all part of the play called “Security Theatre.”

[tech3149]

1. Mystery Security Theatre 2100

Not nearly as funny as MST3K.