Computer Problems

[hyphenate]

Did you know that it was the Devil--AKA Satan--who causes all our computer problems? That we must invoke JC if we want our computers purged of the evil that has infected them? This is according to a fundie.

Supposedly, if you invoke JC and tell the demons in your computer to leave, they must leave. Really. I always thought it was people with little more than time on their hands who created worms, virii, backdoor trojans, and other crap, and all you REALLY needed was a good anti-virus program. My mistake.

[noahmijo]

1. You know once as a tech I delt with a woman who really believed this

She really believed there were demons in her computer. She seriously asked me if I could get "a man of God" to perform a spiritual healing (she couldn't bring herself to just say 'exorcism')


She just stood there eyes rolling into the back of her head screeching that demons have possessed her computer and that there's no time for this "diagnostic" process. The Demons must be banished now!!


Scary the place we live in. Does this shit happen in normal states by any chance? please tell me it's just limited to my backass Arizona town or the south.

[Pierre.Suave]

7. WOW!

Are you serious? Thats crazy.

[noahmijo]

13. I wish I was making this shit up I really do

On the other hand I wish I had it on video. This was a true story though, I wound up just calling a manager over to deal with her.

[hyphenate]

9. Trust me--

it's not just your part of the world. I see fundies everywhere and run into their ignorance all the time. You would think that intelligent people would know better, but I see intelligent people leaving their own knowledge behind in their effort to join them. It's disgusting, and against everything I personally believe in. Their complete ignorance is absolutely appalling.

[Warpy]

2. My last computer was the Antichrist

as tracing my IP number would have told people. That machine almost made me start to believe in demonic possession. It chewed up hard drives and CDROMs. I kept two hard drives piggybacked inside it, duplicated files on both, and would reload Windows about every 6 months as the damn thing corrupted the OS software. It was beyond weird. It was almost a relief when it finally fried its CPU last spring. No amount of protective software from Norton or anybody else would fix its problems. Everything tested out just fine. It just behaved badly.

Maybe calling up one of the local curanderas or the Penitentes for an exorcist would have been a good idea.

[hyphenate]

10. I can believe it

But I would suggest you get yourself a "Do It Yourself Exorcism" kit instead of getting them in. It's cheaper that way! :rofl:

[Rude Horner]

3. He's right

:) And Saint Dogbert is there to help.

[hyphenate]

11. Except the stupid ones

are those on the religious right!

[Joanne98]

4. They can't think. So everything is magical. They're stupid.

[LunaSea]

5. It's true!

Remind them that the power of the lord must be released from all old television sets too.

Find an old tv, plug it in, take the back off and poke around the insides with a screwdriver or scissors until you see ole JC.

Faith is easy, it requires no effort.
Math, science, and operating manuals.....those are hard.

[hyphenate]

12. I second that!

A few timed tweaks in the middle of all that electricity should handle the situation nicely!

I have to wonder, seriously, how any of these ignorant bastards can look at science and not desire to know more. It's being willfully ignorant IMO. At least that's how I looked at what used to be my best friend. She was a teacher and an educated woman. To completely turn around and accept the bible literally without questioning it is completely against everything I believe in, and what I thought she believed in.

[boise1]

6. It's all been downhill since Eve chose that Apple

:evilgrin:

[hyphenate]

8. You know, that's part of one topic

which fundies and other fanatical religious nuts can never answer.

"Adam and Eve" only had two sons, Cain and Able, and one of them married "Lilith." Except that no one, ever, can give a satisfactory answer as to where Lilith came from. If the Bible is to be accepted literally, they really better come up with better solutions as to where other people outside of the family came from, or they are just remain ignorant assholes with no common sense or truth to speak of. :D

[Poiuyt]

15. Apple's don't have viruses

114,000 viruses? Not on a Mac.

By the end of 2005, there were 114,000 known viruses for PCs. In March 2006 alone, there were 850 new threats detected against Windows. Zero for Mac. While no computer connected to the Internet will ever be 100% immune from attack, Mac OS X has helped the Mac keep its clean bill of health with a superior UNIX foundation and security features that go above and beyond the norm for PCs. When you get a Mac, only your enthusiasm is contagious.

http://www.apple.com/getamac/viruses.html

[Cobalt-60]

14. I have long suspected gremlins

I thought I was up against more than ham fisted end users and component malfunctions.
I had hypothesized the existence of gremlins, like the ones in World War II cartoons.
Now that I hear I'm against the Devil Himself !
You know IT is just too dangerous.

[Pierre.Suave]

16. HAHA

Get Thee Behind Me Satan...


























Not too obscure musical reference above^