My script for "THE PATH TO IMPEACHMENT!" Read it and weep, ABC!

[Pab Sungenis]

                           "The Path To Impeachment"
FADE IN:

CAPTION:

           THE FOLLOWING IS NOT A DOCUMENTARY. IT IS A 
           DOCUDRAMA DRAWN FROM A VARIETY OF SOURCES, 
           INCLUDING THE KEN STARR INDEPENDENT COUNSEL'S 
           REPORT. AS SUCH, FOR DRAMATIC PURPOSES, THE 
           MOVIE CONTAINS FICTIONALIZED SCENES AND TIME 
           COMPRESSION.

INT. SPEAKER'S OFFICE -- NIGHT

Lights are low. SPEAKER NEWT GINGRICH is seated behind his
desk. SENATOR PHIL GRAMM is seated across from him. A
dartboard with a likeness of HILLARY CLINTON is on the far
wall, and a voodoo doll with BILL CLINTON's face on it is
laying on the desk.

                       GRAMM
           Newt, we have got to get us rid of 
           this Clinton fella.

                       NEWT
           Why? He's starting to triangulate again. 
           He's been giving us a lot of what we want: 
           a middle class tax cut, welfare reform, 
           why he's been the best Republican President 
           we've had in ages, and he's a Democrat!

                       GRAMM
           It's this whole terrorism thing. Not only 
           is he causing shit with our friends in Saudi 
           Arabia....

                       NEWT
           This is network TV, Phil, please don't say 
           the S-Word.

                       GRAMM
           Sorry. But he's trying to shut down the money 
           laundering network my masters at Enron use to 
           bilk their shareholders.

                       NEWT
           Fine, then, if it makes Enron happy. Any ideas?

                       GRAMM
                   (crosses to and opens door)
           Helen? Get us that intern. The pudgy one with 
           the beret and the goofy hair.

EXT. ROPE LINE -- MORNING

President BILL CLINTON is working the rope line, shaking
hands. MONICA LEWINSKI approaches him, and whispers into his
ear. Through the magic of television, we hear the full
exchange.

                       MONICA
           I want to have sex with you, Mr. President.

                       CLINTON
           Sorry, lady, I'm a married man.

INT. SPEAKER'S OFFICE -- NIGHT

                       GRAMM
           He didn't fall for it, Newt.

                       NEWT
           Give her time. I've gotten her a job in the 
           White House. She'll work her magic before long.

INT. OVAL OFFICE -- DAY

MONICA is carrying a pile of papers. CLINTON is seated behind
his desk.

                       MONICA
           Here are the reports you wanted, Mr. President.

                       CLINTON
           Thank you, uh, what was your name again?

                       MONICA
           Monica.

                       CLINTON
           Thank you, Monica.

                       MONICA
           Do you want anything else?

                       CLINTON
           No, thank you.

                       MONICA
           You don't want to spread me open here on 
           your desk?

                       CLINTON
           No, I do not.

                       MONICA
           You don't want to insert this cigar into 
           my...

                       CLINTON
           No, I do not.

                       MONICA
           Okay then, thank you, Mr. President.

INT. SPEAKER'S OFFICE -- NIGHT

                       GRAMM
           She still can't seduce him, Newt! And I 
           thought he was a randy bastard.

                       NEWT
           Guess we were wrong. Time for more drastic 
           measures.

                       GRAMM
           What have you got there, Newt?

                       NEWT
           I had my secretary break into the intern's 
           house and retrieve this blue dress.

                       GRAMM
           Newt, why are you unzipping your pants?

                       NEWT
           Shut up and hand me that "Hustler!"

                                                              
FADE OUT:

CAPTION:

           THE PATH TO IMPEACHMENT IS NOT A DOCUMENTARY.  
           IT IS A DOCUDRAMA BASED UPON THE STARR REPORT 
           TO THE SAME DEGREE THAT "THE PATH TO 
           9/11" WAS BASED ON THE 9/11 COMMISSION 
           REPORT. IT CONTAINS ABOUT AS MANY FICTIONALIZED 
           SCENES AS "THE PATH TO 9/11" AND IS 
           SLIGHTLY MORE ACCURATE.  

           VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

END OF ACT ONE

[Joanne98]

1. LOL

[Generic Other]

2. Oh Mercy!

But don't you think it should be Linda Tripp trying to seduce Clinton?

[Karmageddon]

3. Holy crap, that's funny!

[Pab Sungenis]

4. Thank you.

[texpatriot2004]

5. Applause nm

[katinmn]

6. LMAO! Too funny!

:rofl:

[katinmn]

7. Kick

[symbolman]

8. Beautiful

I've dabbled in script writing myself and probably appreciate this all the more :)

Great stuff! Send it to the ONION, why not?

[Pab Sungenis]

10. Thanks for the compliment.

I was working on my next play in "Page 2 Stage" when I had the idea, and opened a new window. It just flowed from there.

And that piece has too much truth in it to be worthy of the "Onion:" Phil Gramm DID kill Clinton's anti-money-laundering efforts to protect Enron.

[symbolman]

11. That's true

I was just thinking it was subtle enough and with that format on their page it might up the IQ of even their most stubborn stains :)

No insult intended of any kind..

I'm busy writing a Book (since my screen writing skills suck, but I didn't want to be the only and last guy in SoCal who HADN'T written a screenplay) right now that I have someone lined up, a movie star that may want to give it a shove, and so I'm trying to have the best of both worlds and in one I suck, the other I'm fairly sure I can pull it off..

But then.. it would be broken :)

[Pab Sungenis]

12. I'm preparing to finish my third novel this November

during National Novel Writing Month. Third not including the one I've been going back to and putting aside since the Summer of 1999. :)

One of these days I'll find someone willing to publish me. Trust me, it's as hard, if not harder, to sell a book than a screenplay nowadays.

[symbolman]

13. Oh, I know

You've got to KNOW someone or you can just forget about it, eh? I remember years ago I tried the standard right, and suddenly became "Psychic".. I would stand by my mailbox with a little old lady from next door and as soon as the mail came, I'd hold the envelope to my forehead and read word for word what was written inside on a 3 X 5 card.

She was amazed. :)

I know they have sweatshops in those publishing biz's where Haitians or Chinese folks stuff, "Sorry we are not interested in this property at this time, please try again SUCKER!!"

I'm sort of lucky in a way, I've got a subject and angle so fascinating to this Star and tailored to their agenda so perfectly that even if I write it badly they'll still option it. They'll call it an "Extended Treatment" or a book that needs "EDITING" and get me what I need, Agent, etc.

I've lived a wild life in the first half and now I'm going to Milk all that, to the point where I may even change society, if it's still possible.

It's TIME for this book, not the Second Coming, but close enough to cut me a check :)

Good luck with all your doing, I admire and know how much work it is, go get 'em! I can see the talent dripping from your fingertips from here :)

[Subdivisions]

9. Kiiiiiiiiiick! eom

[Liberal Dose]

14. Dang, that was funny!

You have no idea how much I needed that laugh.
:rofl: :applause: :yourock: