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He seems to have come to believe in such progressive concepts as self-evaluation.
Well, sorry Cheney; It's a conservative world. You don't get to evaluate yourself. I, as one of you employers, will be handing out pink slips soon for those who aren't meeting company standards, and I'm sad to say that "helluva job" isn't on any eval I've seen. We've given you four years to improved, but it doesn't seem to be doing any good. In fact, the last note I have here is this:
"Mr. Cheney is unable to incorporate constructive criticism from his employers into his job performance. Typically when faced with such criticisms, Mr. Cheney will simply change the subject and ignore what is being said. However, during one particularly bad period for his department, he seems to have been so overcome either by incompetence or hatred, that he SHOT A MAN IN THE FACE."
Dick, I think you're fired, but what all this evaluation we, your employers (ya know, the people that pay you), have done points to crazed nutjob. You're only still around because we're scared of you. I mean, we did fuck up and give you access to the world's largest military, and look what you did with that! Soon as we get around to hauling your large ass out of there in a way that is safe to the public (we're thinking Hannibal Lecter style restraints, only made with titanium because those jowls of yours are just scary) you're out of here. Just let me put on my bullet proof vest first and go hide in a shelter somewhere before you read this.
You're crazy, Dick. So go fuck yourself. I sure you do one hell of a job with that, you monstrous fuck.
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