Bush; Try not to giggle tonight, OK?

[Sugar Smack]

I'm sure it might be tempting or even at times uncontrollable as you remember standing on that pile of rubble with a megaphone. I'll bet you felt ten feet tall. Forget the methodology of "breaking a few eggs" and by all means don't envision real people looking 60 stories down, wondering whether to melt, choke, get crushed or jump. This is not the time to be cracking one of your smiles. I mean, death is delicious. But try to think about something else as you rhapsodize about the amount of human blood spilled on your watch. Concentrate on your commitment to that rug in the Oval Office. Or how tough a struggle it really is to stay ahead of those Secret Service guys on your bicycles. Or that your forehead may be a little shiny right now because you do, indeed, have reason to sweat.

If you think about the troops heading to Iraq in confusion and misled determination, you may actually start cracking up. That wouldn't look good. Your role as the cartwheeling purveyor of death would be confirmed in the eyes of even your most rabid followers. Don't use your moment of silence to chew over the details of innocent dead Iraqi citizens. Keep focused on more pressing matters, like your gassy condition after last night's barbecue-bean pig-out. Maybe then you'll seem sober.

I'm just telling you this for your own good, asshole.

[maxsolomon]

1. he could dance the polka naked with his mom

and i wouldn't notice. i won't be listening to a word he says.

[valerief]

3. I think you just wrote something pornographic there. Yecch! n/t

[maxsolomon]

7. we'll see if i get deleted!

"dancing the polka" is not a euphemism i've ever heard before...

[valerief]

10. It made me laugh! I can see the two right now. Oh, oh, gotta run

to the john now! My stomach's churning.

[DUgosh]

12. my eyes my eyes

that image is burning them

[Sugar Smack]

13. Oh, YIKES.

And yet, you just made me laugh. Thanks, you! :rofl:

[Karmageddon]

51. It's just become a euphemism though. Thanks for the laugh.

Times like this, a laugh is a precious gift.

[Sugar Smack]

55. Oh, I completely agree.

:)

[Sugar Smack]

64. It may be, but you won't get deleted

;-)

[Lisa]

49. the tango, maybe ...

I would be mildly curious whether Bar can do a leg-lift at her age.

[Sugar Smack]

54. OMG! The image!!

*does proper gross-out/jumps in place/shakes hands wildly*

AAAACK! :scared: :scared:

[MadMaddie]

2. He will blame the "Democrats" for not wanting to catch the

terrorist in the speach....He will stomp on the memories of those lost on that tragic day...Remember he doesn't want to make it a partisan speech...:sarcasm:

[Sugar Smack]

21. Oh, of COURSE!

GAWD, this is just horrifying.

[Jack Rabbit]

4. !!

Image from Kill Your Television

[Sugar Smack]

14. Good. Answer.

As it is, I've been tempted countless times today. Thank you for the image. :pals:

[lectrobyte]

5. It's only when he talks about death and destruction does he ever

get happy, it will be a challenge for him.

[Sugar Smack]

20. Regrettably, I can already predict the smarmy smirk that creeps across

his face when talking about human blood spilled. :grr: :nuke:

[GeorgeGist]

68. not just that...

but when he utters the phrase 'rape rooms' he can't help but evilgrin.

[Sugar Smack]

69. Gawd. I'm feeling lucky I missed the speech last night.

:wow: I don't think I could have taken it.

[elehhhhna]

6. RECOMMENDED!!!

"...the cartwheeling purveyor of death..."

[Sugar Smack]

23. elehhhhna-

Thank you. :hug: :grouphug:

[elehhhhna]

27. de nada, THANK YOU! That's a fine piece of writing....

perfectly done.

[Sugar Smack]

40. Thank you. This is just awful- I found it in Volcano Jen's thread

and it pretty much sums everything up:

[whistle]

8. A sociopath can not control that urge to laugh....

<snip>
March 26, 2004
Laugh Riot
Even though I just got finished swearing off of parody, I was really tempted to do something about our leader's attempt to create a new comic genre -- "WMD humor" -- at Wednesday's dinner for the Radio and Television Correspondents Association (Media Whores 'R Us).

I was going to have Lincoln doing "Gettysburg jokes" as in: "If that Little Round Top was so goddamned little, how come 8,000 of our guys had to die just to keep the rebs off it?" Plus maybe a throwaway line about how Mary's trying that new "Andersonville diet."

Or Roosevelt doing "Battle of the Bulge" jokes ("Ethel Merman thought they were talking about her.")

Or Truman telling Hiroshima stories ("I hear 'skin tight' ain't exactly in fashion over there right now.")

Or Eisenhower cracking one about Mutual of Omaha Beach's Wild Kingdom -- "look at Jeeeuum run!"

But I see The Nation's David Corn (who was actually at the correspondents' dinner) has already beaten me to it:

Even if Bush does not believe he lied to or misled the public, how can he make fun of the rationale for a war that has killed and maimed thousands? Imagine if Lyndon Johnson had joked about the trumped-up Gulf of Tonkin incident that he deceitfully used as a rationale for U.S. military action in Vietnam: "Who knew that fish had torpedoes?"
Or if Ronald Reagan appeared at a correspondents event following the truck-bombing at the Marines barracks in Beirut--which killed over 200 American servicemen--and said, "Guess we forgot to put in a stop light."

Or if Clinton had come out after the bombing of Serbia--during which U.S. bombs errantly destroyed the Chinese embassy and killed several people there--and said, "The problem is, those embassies--they all look alike."


I guess everybody really is a comedian these days.

Now I have to admit, I also have a taste for black comedy -- some would call it sick comedy -- as even a cursory check of the Whiskey Bar archives will demonstrate. So I'm probably not the best guy to throw the first stone (or even the 10,000,000th one, which seems to be the case here.) But if I were the guy who had sent hundreds of U.S. soldiers (and thousands more Iraqis) to their deaths, or to a lifetime of pain and suffering, I'd probably find something else to crack jokes about. Like maybe:

Bush: That Dick Cheney just drives me nuts sometimes. (pause) The other day he took me into the Oval Office (pause) and told me there was a coke spoon in the corner. (cue laugh track)
Now that's my Bush.

http://billmon.org/archives/001274.html

[Sugar Smack]

18. OMG, I have never read that before.

I want to thank you for that. It's like that embarrassing and mortifying scene where he checks the Oval Office for WMDs, while onlookers laugh- either for real or with a sense of panicked hysteria ("has he gone mad?")

[Penndems]

9. He's lied to me once too often in the past five years

I won't be watching.

[Sugar Smack]

30. I do admit I'm torn between watching that fuckup

and watching something cool, like "Erin Brockovich", where corruption was actually frowned upon.

[Penndems]

38. Smack, I can't remember the last time I watched a primetime speech given

by Bush. The man has lied so much, I don't trust him anymore (and I trusted him very little before 9/11).

It's not worth the effort to have my intelligence insulted.

[Sugar Smack]

39. You know, and honestly it can't be doing my blood pressure any good

to witness this complete shambles embarass and enrage us all anew. :pals:

[shadowknows69]

11. K+R

Awesome post

[Sugar Smack]

16. Thank you so much.

:hug: We're all so angry.

[zbdent]

15. Hey George - try your "trifecta" joke tonight ... it killed at all those

GOP fundraisers, you'll get a great chuckle out of all those true believers who are tuned in for your free commercial from ABC ...

[Sugar Smack]

24. Oh, I know. Ain't he just the charmingest lil' ham that ever lived?

:grr: :nuke: Chuckle indeed. What fun. All he's missing is the cackle and the evil overlord-style rubbing of hands.

[Rob H.]

17. "cartwheeling purveyor of death"

I'm definitely gonna remember that, 'cause it suits him so perfectly. Recommended. :)

[Sugar Smack]

26. Thank you, Rob H. There's more where that came from:

He's a noodle-wristed, megalomaniacal bucket of horse piss. Prince Skidmark. President Pigfoot. King Fallsalot. Scabby McRugburn. Cancerous Earworm. Gutless Wonder. Spoonfed, sniveling waste of oxygen. Tricycle-riding daddy's boy. Goatfucker-in-chief. Lucy Lucifer. Sir Scabmagnet. Boiling vat of nothing. Prick. Drunken Busdriver. Mister Hankey. President Neverland. Prince Snootypants. Murdering Fucknut. Mister Rice. Captain Pockmark. Omega Man. Cockadoodie-Brat-in-chief. Mincing, brain-damaged cipher. Worst-Case-Scenario. Ass-head.

Shit-throwing monkey fucker. Asshat. Disgrace. Embarrassment. Assrot. Pus on the boil of a chimp's ass. Captain Veggie. President GermyLips. Scab-faced cretin stinkrot. Gunnysack of weasel shit. Buffoon of the highest order. Profoundly stupid, blazing infestation of crablice. His mighty, incompetent Loftiness. Brain-Dead Meathook. Sphincter-mouthed, pabulum-spewing King of the shitstorm. Slab-sided pasty-faced, deplorable son-of-a-bitch bastard.

President Unholy Travesty. Giggling Murderer. Contemptible Piece of Trash. Pinheaded drug-addled Test Monkey. Shit-pantsed, apoplectic coward (thanx for 9-11, BTW). Contrary Little Slow-Witted Moron Fuck. President Foul. President Cokehead. President Horseshit-on-a-stick. Empty-Headed Shit-Shuttle. Prima-Donna Neanderthal. Stinkeyed Freak. Spluttering Lunatic. Bumbling, Slack-Jawed Vegetable. Dismal, Offensive, drooling Ratbag. Weevil. Kunkus. Punk.

Chucklehead. Captain Clusterfuck. Shit-on-the-boots of he Anthropoid Rabble. Dick. Coarse Aberation of Humanity. Sorry, Unfeeling, Unfunny Milquetoast Comedian. Lout. Sluggard. Uncouth Hillbilly. No-Account Clown. Lump. Muckworm. Diseased, Two-Hoofed, greased snake, Pestilent Botch-of nature Bastard. Impudent, indigest, pestilent, Deformed Want-Wit. Black-Livered and Black-Hearted nest of Maggots. Nightmarish, capering little Smirk-Eyed Night Crawler. Ugly, depraved Jackass trail of Cat-Sick.

[Rob H.]

62. You're on fire today

Some great ones in there! :rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

63. I kinda like "Nightmarish, capering little Smirk-Eyed Night Crawler"

if I may say so. Thank you Rob H. You're a jewel! :bounce: :toast:

[Justice Is Comin]

19. I struggle to find the words how much I loathe that nazi swamp

dweller bastard

[Sugar Smack]

29. I know, and how I wish

your username will come true soon. :hug:

[SeattleVet]

22. I remember when Nixon used to have his little speeches on TV,

my friends and I would turn down the sound and start pulling the string on a "Chatty Cathy" doll. We used to love it when Nixon was moving his lips to "Go Bye-Bye!".

[Sugar Smack]

33. That's the spirit. : )

Although I forget just how I'm going to face Bush's tripe with even an ounce of levity. :pals:

[SeattleVet]

36. I haven't found anything that works well with Chimpy, though, since

so much of what he says probably only really sounds right in the original German.

[Sugar Smack]

37. Get a "Tickle-Me Elmo" doll.

That ought to do the trick nicely.

[file83]

25. When he does giggle, it'll be because of Katrina - you forgot to remind hi

not to think about that.

[Sugar Smack]

28. Oh, yeah. Icing on his fucking death-cake.

What an unbelieveable bastard.

[file83]

32. LOL

[Sugar Smack]

34. I love it that you have FOUR google bombs in your sig!!!

:applause: :rofl: :yourock: I just busied myself with clicking away on them. :loveya:

[Borgnine]

31. I feel that 9/11 is Bush's personal Christmas.

I wish I didn't feel like that, but come on... the man gets positively giddy over death and destruction. Factor in that it was the event that they still milk when they need a few extra votes, and you've got a day-long Republican orgasm.

He'll try to shed some crocodile tears, but I'm sure the smirk will surface before too long.

[Sugar Smack]

35. "Giddy" is the right word.

"Tickled" is another that comes to mind, and I'll wager his tear ducts will be dry/inoperative throughout the so-called speech.

[Richardo]

41. Recommended.

You seriously rock, girl. :patriot:

[Sugar Smack]

42. Oh, Richardo.

Thank you so much. I need a hug. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Richardo]

43. .

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Sugar Smack]

66. .

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[johnnie]

44. You rock Sugar

I'm figuring in his pee brain he was feeling more like this:




"I'm just telling you this for your own good, asshole." :rofl:


:yourock:

Oh, and recommended :thumbsup:

[Sugar Smack]

45. Johnnie, that was great.

Thank you for that- really an excellent comparison. :loveya:

You KNOW that dipshit's going to embarrass everybody tonight. It can be counted on. After all, there are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and Captain Fucknut making a monkeys-ass of himself. B-)

[johnnie]

46. What's amazing is...

When you think he has made the biggest ass out himself as he can, he finds a way to top the one before that. Seriously, it is truly amazing that this guy can't look "presidential" for 20 seconds.

[Sugar Smack]

47. Like him STEPPING on that 9/11 remembrance flag.

STEPPING ON IT as if it were a welcome mat! At least the prick had the decency not to wipe his feet on it. Unfortunately, that's as optimistic as I get.

[johnnie]

48. I'm sort of surprised he didn't whip out his wee wee...

....and take a leak on it. :)

[Sugar Smack]

50. OR WORSE.

:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:

[johnnie]

52. Oh..

Well he has already done that to the Constitution.

[Sugar Smack]

53. I know. After all, what are wee-wees for?

:wow:

[bdamomma]

56. or smirk in his usual sickening way, him and bands of thugs

can go to hell

[Sugar Smack]

58. He will smirk, twitch, laugh, look around,

look pleased with himself, repeat himself, and bandy about the word "terror"...

Come to think of it, I may go have a glass of wine right now. :grr: :nuke:

[Sugar Smack]

59. dupe for enthusiastic anger, I suppose

delete

[buddhamama]

57. you have captured

his socio-pathetic behavior beautifully. well said, m`lady. :yourock:

[Sugar Smack]

60. Thank you, buddhamama. I always love your posts,

so that means a LOT to me! :pals: :yourock: :pals:

[Sugar Smack]

61. .

:kick: kick!

[Sugar Smack]

65. *grrrrrr* FUCK BUSH

:kick: :kick:

[buddhamama]

67. uhm

the asshat cometh.