Looking back 5 years......

[Nickster]

Today has actually been a shock to me, the last 5 years on this date...I've not really batted an eye at "that" anniversary. It was just another day with a few mentions here or there on what happened on this date but I never REALLY got back to that time or place in 2001.

This morning I turned on my tv and caught my morning dose of CNN. I caught a mention that they would start playing the video, minute by minute, of "that" day. My conscience twinged a bit and continued to bother me for the drive to work. I've kept the same schedule since "that" day, so I was on the road at approximately that same time on that same day. My mind started to wander to "that" day as I retraced my steps and started to relive those events again.

I remember, it was one of the more perfect weather days that I can remember in my lifetime. Back in those days, there was no Air America, and I hadn't had time to truly understand the incompetence that had befallen our fair government, so I was tuned in to the local sports station in my truck. The big topic for that day, would Michael Jordan be coming out of retirement? I remember when such weighty topics used to be my focus...."Oh God, just one more chance to see Michael slam dunk, please?"

I got into the office and started by day, just like any other day. About 45 minutes into the work day, I heard the initial chatter..."Hey someone crashed into the WTC...It had to have been a Cessna..." Slowly, my day started to fall apart from there. I remember the reports starting to come in over the radio. The reports were vague and full of distortions. There were phantom jets all over the country. The Sears Tower was being evacuated. There were car bombs going off every where. It was a surreal time. I jumped on to the internet to see what was being said and every major web site was blank at first, but then eventually started to come back with stripped down graphics. The picture of that burning tower....the picture of the second jet just before impact. I remember thinking the country was under attack and here I am sitting in an office. How bizarre can this get? I should be doing something, what if "they" are attacking us in the streets now? My boss, unphased by any of it, called me into our project meeting. Just another day you know? I went outside for a smoke after awhile and remember just staring into the sky. How calm and peaceful it was, just like nothing happened.

The replay of "that" day was running through my head this morning as I clicked on the CNN replay feed and started to watch the news of "that" day. I watched for about an hour or so before I started to feel that same anxiety wash over me, I was transported back 5 years to that day. Then I got angry and clicked it right off. My anger boils over at this point. MY country isn't like this. The US of A never used to be afraid like this. I'm ticked off that at every turn, the media, the President, anyone with a microphone has told us how scared we should be. Doesn't anyone realize by now, after five stinking long years that a leader would have picked us up off of the mat, dusted off our clothes, punched us in the shoulder and said "it's ok, it's time to move on now". "You don't need to live in fear, let your leaders do that for you, we are doing our best to protect you." Instead, we float like a rudderless ship, the person at the helm keeps screaming "We're all gonna die! Die I tell ya! Everyone RUN!".

Little did I know how things would turn out 5 years later. I had no idea that every day for the next 5 years I would hear about September 11, 2001 in some way, shape or form. I had no idea that our government would work so hard to keep that surreal sense of fear and numbness that I felt that day so real and fresh in my mind.

My feeling about this anniversary? I yearn for the peace and prosperity of September 10th, 2001. I yearn for the sense of fellowship, around the world, that we were a part of on September 12, 2001. Most of all? I look forward to November 7th, 2006. That's when I can help to throw that crazy person at the helm over board and put leaders back in charge. Most of all....I refuse to be afraid.

[baldguy]

1. When I look back after 5 years, I'm still sick & angry.

Because the people that allowed 3000 Americans to be murdered are still around. And if another 9/11 will be politically expedient for them, you can be sure they'll allow another 3000 Americans - or more - to be murdered again.

And I'm not talking about Osama bin Laden & al Queda.