BEHOLD Ignorant AMERICAN FOOLS! The New Weapons Of Your DOOM!

[TheWatcher]

Any one of our operatives could place these items in a backpack, purse, or just place it innocently on the empty airline seat of an unsuspecting infidel, or drop it in the airplane lavatory for MAXIMUM TERROR!

You will cringe in a helpless fetal state as we Divert Your Flights, Cause massive flight delays, and make you look like hysterical Roosters running in all directions on your State Sponsored Propaganda News!

With these new Weapons Of Mass Inconvenience, we have raised the stakes in our War to crush the Evil Of the Great Western Satan that is America!

DEATH TO THE INFIDELS!!!!!!!!

/satire off

Yes, just another day in Bush World. :)

[magellan]

1. Ducks, if I find any of those it's going one of two places

...depending on my mood. Lost & found, or in my pocket.

I say, is that a bomb icon on the top one?

[TheWatcher]

3. Actually I think it's a Clock Icon, but someone with Photoshop should

make it into one.

Very appropriate for the madness of today.

It doesn't get any more obvious than what what happened to that flight that was diverted earlier today.

We truly live in the Twilight Zone.

[Warren DeMontague]

2. You want to really scare the piss outta Bush's base, show them these:

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"



"Noooooooooo!"



"Pleeeeease! Make it STOP!"



"...Help! I'm melting!"



"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

[TheWatcher]

4. ZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Perfect! :rofl: :rofl:

Especially the Birth Control Pills. They would hide under the bed for a week clutching a Pocket Bible muttering incoherently: "Murder Pills!.....DARKSIDED!!!!!!!!!!!!1111"

[neoblues]

9. Never let their womenfolk discover one of these

While their ideology ought to appreciate such things--after all, they generally promote the fertilization of eggs... they'd probably perceive it not only as a tool of Satan, but as something like a mild drug that would seduce a user into harder drugs--and stimulate visions of women thinking for themselves (gulp).

Can you imagine airport security screeners dealing with one of these? "Code Red! She's wired! Call the bomb disposal unit..."

Just in case it isn't obvious, this is a remote controlled vibrating vaginal egg

[ima_sinnic]

11. ha ha, you forgot one!

watch them claw out their eyes!

[Kutjara]

5. The Etch-a-Sketch is a genuine WMD.

I remember trying to draw curved lines on that damned thing and I nearly slaughtered my entire family by the time I was done. It is a device of Satan, designed to corrupt the talentless.

As for the Blackberry, my life improved immeasurably when mine fell in the toilet.

The real thing you have to be careful taking through airport security, though, is a penis pump. That's the thing they're on the lookout for.

[ClintonTyree]

6. And dildos........

don't forget the dildos. A penis pump, huh? Is this from personal experience? ;)

[Kutjara]

7. Any denial would be viewed with suspicion...

so I'll remain silent regarding my personal experience, but I was actually referring to the guy a couple of weeks ago who was arrested at airport security for saying he had 'a bomb'. It turned out that he was "Arab-looking" (of course), traveling with his mother, and had packed a penis pump in his carry-on luggage. When security staff found the pump and asked him what it was, he didn't want his mother to know what he was carrying, so he whispered 'a pump' in a very soft voice. This was heard as 'a bomb' by the slightly overparanoid security officer, and all hell broke loose. Suffice to say, his mom now knows her son is unhappy with the size of his manhood.

[ClintonTyree]

14. I hadn't read that........

and regarding your personal experience, it's none of my damned business, I was just joking. That poor schmuck at the airport must have nearly died from embarrassment. :blush: What could he have been thinking, bringing that thing along in his carry-on luggage? I'll never understand people.

[skids]

12. Am I weird...

About the most fun I ever had with one of those was to try and get all the material off the front plate so it was totally black.

[Kutjara]

15. God yes! I remember doing that.

When I realized that I'd never be as good as the kids who could draw a perfect monochrome Mona Lisa on the frickin' thing, I spent hours meticulously etching every atom to the silvery stuff of the surface, until I could see the whole mechanism of the satanic device below the now-clear window.

Thank you for reminding me just how nihilistic my childhood was. ;)

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

8. Did I miss some kind of new terra announcement? n/t

[Skidmore]

10. Actually, I live in utterly paralyzing fear of

Dippity-Do hair gel and lip gloss right now. Let's get threat correct now. Those electronic doodads are amateur, but Max Factor Pomegranate Fusion can do some major damage!!

[TheWatcher]

16. Don't forget the Styling Mousse

[acmavm]

13. I've decided to never fly again. The way they reroute planes God

only knows where you can end up.

Plus after being here for a few thousand posts, I could be sent somewhere out of the country and not very hospitable.

:sarcasm: