Path to 911 deleted scenes - Parody

[HannibalBarca]

http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2006/091006.asp

SCRIPT EXCERPTS OF DELETED SCENES FROM ABC'S FAIR & BALANCED DOCU-DRAMA, THE PATH TO 9/11TM
Declassified Memorandum

THE PRESIDENT: Good evening. As you know, the ABC television network, while usually revoltingly liberal, recently saw fit to produce a quality, all-American piece of hot 9-11TM patrio-porn, scheduled for broadcast one hour from now. Tragically, in response to whiny protests from my predecessor and his staff, Disney is VICIOUSLY GUTTING key scenes from this fine work of art. Fortunately, a staffer of my own – we'll call him "K.R." – just happened to have a copy of the original script, written in longhand on yellow legal pads. As President, I feel strongly that the American people must not be deprived of even a moment's worth of this important historical record. Thank you.

DELETED SCENE #1:

INT. OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT

Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky sprawl naked across the Old Resolute desk, feeding each other glazed Dunkin' Donuts Munchkins from an enormous crystal punchbowl. Monica's floppy lady parts are puffing away at a cheap cigar.

MONICA

Don't you want to ignore the safety of America's children to taste my cigar, Handsome?


PRESIDENT CLINTON

That meaty humidor of yours turns all them Hav-A-Tampas into Hav-A-Tampons!


MONICA

Isn't it time for your security daily briefing?


PRESIDENT CLINTON

You've already debriefed me with your gopher teeth, baby. Now, why don't you slip those incisors behind your warm, wet lips and suck the life out of Bill Junior here while I lay back on this desk and neglect to heed the obvious warnings of impending doom from Islamo-fascists?
(motions downward)........

[Bucky]

1. I couldn't read past the words "Dunkin' Donuts"