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There's billions of dollars out there for fighting terrorism, and all sorts of people, crooks mostly, are giddy about it.
Now terrorism isn't a problem you can solve by throwing money at it. But then again it pays to remember that for the want of some deadlocks on cockpit doors the WTC collapsed.
And deadlocks go for thirty bucks down at Home Depot.
Now the question presents itself- where should all that money be allocated? The United States Government, in its infinite wisdom, has come up with a "formula" for deciding just that. It takes into account all sorts of factors like population and number of monuments, and figures out potential terrorist targets. So the government took this formula and fed all their data into a computer, carried the five, laundered the contributions, and dotted their i's. And it turned out the answer was: a petting zoo in Indiana. The government then awarded millions of dollars to protect Indianan petting zoos. It is currently spending trillions of dollars building an even bigger computer to figure out what the question was in the first place.
Now the thing about formulas is this- if you come up with a formula and the results don't make any fucking sense, there's probably something wrong with the formula. So I'm going to ask what no American should ever ask of another American, we need to use our critical thinking skills. Pretend you're a terrorist. Go ahead. You hate America for her Freedoms and her Bountiful Natural Splendor. But there's only so many monuments a fellow can homicide bomb. Which target would take priority on your list?
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