Jim McGreevey: I'm not a fan

[LuckyTheDog]

I admit it: I'm not a fan of Jim McGreevey. It's not because he is gay. I dislike him because he seems like a self-involved idiot who should just go away. Am I alone here?

http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/news/15524020.htm

[Not Me]

1. No you are not.

His story is an interesting one, and he is determined to tell it, seemingly without regard for his former wife and children.

[donco6]

2. It certainly doesn't put him in a better light.

Ugh. Someone who cheats on his wife just after she's had a C-section. Geez.

[MADem]

3. He crapped on not one, but two, wives, which was unkind in the extreme

That's pretty shitty, to use those women so he can have the "appearance" of a happy hetero family and advance his own political interests. It epitomizes selfishness. It would be a different matter if it were a Cole Porter-style union, but clearly, from the exerpts, at least the second wife was kept in the dark.

I'd be more interested in seeing the book by Wife Number Two.

[regularguy]

4. You gotta wonder how deep in shit a guy is

when his best possible PR move is to admit on national TV that he's cheating on his wife with a man.

http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/15512985.htm

"..not a gay Governor, a *bad* governor"

[Kahuna]

5. Maybe so. But I'm in awe of how beautifully he ages..

This dude just get more and more handsome with each passing year. Go Jim!

[William769]

6. Not sticking up for the guy but...

Society as a whole has a lot to do with it.

[LeftHander]

7. I was at Oprah's McGreevey interview taping.

Second row, dead center...I met his good friend Ray.

I've held off writing or reporting on the interview contents out of respect for the way Oprah handled the interview and it took some time digest it. But I now want to offer some insight pre-broadcast.

And NO I am not being paid to or was I asked to do so.

(ironic...here I am talking about TV...if you have seen my posts about TV you know my head is exploding...really I have had a headache for two days now.)

Here goes...

Oprah conducted for the most part a excellent interview. It was candid, with just enough challenge to keep it interesting and illicit some very frank responses from McGreevey. They did not shy away from McGreevey's sordid sexual past.

McGreevey explained his situation, answered some very tough questions...some answers were a bit soundbite-ish...others were clearly a extreme struggle for him to discuss, tears filling his eyes and face going flush and he shifted in his chair nervously. Oprah too knew she had a scoop and was equally as animated. We also met his partner Mark O'DOnnell, and he sat next to McGreevey in the third and fourth segments.

First off...McGreevey is selling a book. So the interview was conducted by him to promote the book. First and foremost. At least that is the feeling I got...Oprah did a good job of allowing that part but she also took it to other places....some expected some not...

Secondly....McGreevey I feel took careful steps to damage the character of the man whom he had an affair with. I thought that was a bit below board. And given McGreevey admission of his anonymous sexual habits I felt that he is is not telling the full truth about his relationship with Golan Cipel.

Some of the items he discussed and that are in the book are indeed quite shocking. I don't want to be a spoiler...because McGreevey really left nothing back in writing this book...

All I can say there are many aspects of Jim McGreevey's "confession" that are admirable, but it is also tainted with very dark and sexual irresponsibility and dysfunction that comes with living a life that was a lie. That alone will be too much for people to handle. As a person who also recently has "come out" sex talk in the gay community is quite frank, free and explicit and is many times beyond what would be permissible on a daytime talk show. I know, I myself have had trouble adjusting to the talk so casually bantered about in the gay community. I still blush and look at the floor.

Probably most interesting is the duality of life he led. He explained it quite well and admitted there were even moments where that policy positions as Gov. were tainted by his desire to maintain his heterosexual facade. Specifics are in the interview...and reveal the extent that hiding ones sexuality does to your thought processes. I call it the gay filter. - "Does this make me appear gay." You run everything through this filter, until it becomes sub-conscious.

McGreevey did get in many "sound bites" that were reminiscent of his political past. However the most telling moment was when his lover Mark joined him on stage. McGreevey's face relaxed, they quickly embraced and kissed on Oprah's stage. As they talked about their relationship one thing was very clear, they are in love and happy. McGreevey gathered strength and confidence by resting his hand subconsciously on Mark's knee as the interview continued. Mark sat quietly looking at Jim...he was there for Jim...and that was genuine.

All in all I highly suggest seeing this interview and reading his book. It truly represents the way that the world is changing. I admire McGreevey's courage to do the right thing and remove the facade of lies swirling around one after a lifetime in the closet. Closeted gays in denial need to come out and accept the truth of ones self and society needs to support that disclosure.

It will be up to you to determine if any lies are left...and how you feel about James McGreevey. He still has lots of luggage to hump around, pending legal issues from Cipel and his wife and a book to sell. He has damaged a lot of people and they need to time to heal and realize that thoguh he is responsible for that, they can ulitamtle find a new relationship from the ashes.

I feel after this book tour is done he will fade into the life that he always dreamed of. A loving relationship, open and honest with the person he truly loves as the person he was born to be. Political ambition and drive pales in comparison to loving someone, being there for them and being true to yourself. I could easily see that Mark and James...are in love and want nothing more than to get McGeevey's baggage put away and settle into a quiet and very wealthy gay lifestyle.

McGreevey has found that his true self can now emerge, secrets, lies and dishonesty are no longer needed. It just takes time to let the false image fade away. I cannot condemn the man for his pre-disclosure life because that man was false and no longer exists. What is left is a gay man sorting out the damage caused by a life of lies. Eventually it will all be behind him.

I support James McGreevey, the new Gay American, as the days move forward.

[johnnyburma]

8. Awwww, he's in love ...

... well, everything forgiven. Including giving the NJ Homeland Security Chief position to someone whose only qualifications were that JimBoy wanted to get in his pants. Allow me to condemn the douchbag for you.

[Jersey Devil]

9. "courage to do the right thing"? Baloney!

He quit as governor and came out because he was a crook who was on the verge of being publicly exposed, probably indicted and thrown in jail, not because he is gay and had any desire to "do the right thing". He used the fact that he is gay as an excuse to quit when the real reason is that he was going to be exposed as crooked. And now this crumball goes on TV to further embarrass his kids and two former wives, and for money, not principle.

There's nothing there to admire. NJ would not, imo, have had any problem with a gay governor. In fact, there probably would have been an outpouring of support for him except for one tiny little fact. He was also a crook and good riddance to him.

[LeftHander]

11. Afraid I would have to disagree....

It was because he was closeted and living a lie in a rather dysfunctional manner his judgement and motivations were clearly screwed up...

I feel his ambition and political drive was a result of his desire to have power over people to prevent them from questioning his sexuality.

Twisted no doubt...but I can understand how that could be.

I really feel that he will be held accountable for his action as he pretended to be hetero...I just feel that people should attempt to understand that the person that remains...is not Jim McGreevey...governor....powerful politician...man living a lie.

His true self was buried at 12 years of age. So he has to "grow" up for real now and find out who he really is.

I know people will hate him and his Wife may never forgive him, but he still is a human being and I can't help but empathize with him and his Wife and children. Normally this would of been a private matter had he not been a elected offical. But he is. So he wrote the book...to put final closure on his old life and to move forward. (imho)

It is crushing to finally realize the scope of the damage that a closeted life casues. Sadly it ends badly for so many that finally accept who they are. Many can't cope with it and totally self destruct taking family and friends with them.

And that is the real tragedy we never see or hear about...

The movie "American Beauty" illustrates the horror life in denial and self hate. It is a complex and beautiful tragedy.

Jim McGreevey is an important icon in our changing social climate. He shows that you can go on. You can endure and that the fear closeted one holds throughout life is irrational and you have to let it go and be honest. Brutally honest.

So...we may never accept how he lived pre-disclosure, but we should realize that that person no-longer exists.

[Kahuna]

10. Great recap. Thanks for mposting this. I have always liked

McGreevey. But I did suspect that he was gay because of the way he got married only after he won the govenorship. I feel very bad about the women he used and discarded. I also feel bad that in our society he could not be honest about who he was. I'm very proud of the way he has adjusted to be "out." He seems very relaxed and proud of who he is. I wish he hadn't of used his position to reward his lover. Otherwise he might have been able to remain in office and be an outed gay govenor. That would have been a huge step forward for GLBT.

[Ignacio Upton]

12. He'll indirectly hurt Menendez's chances in the Senate race

Unfortunately, Menendez is losing to Kean Jr., not only because of corruption perceived against him, but because New Jersey Democrats have had a string of corruption scandals over the last four years or so. Torecelli, McGreevey, Corzine's Attornery General, and the conviction of the former State Senate President are among the problems plaguing state Democrats.