|
Edited on Mon Sep-18-06 09:32 AM by The Backlash Cometh
My son and his best friend, "L" were two totally different kinds of kids, but they became friends in that innocent age in elementary when you're still blind to outside pressure from the peers. Our relationship with the family became even more cemented when "L" lost his father in the fourth grade. Obviously, the family went through a great deal of adjustment. "L" spent a lot of time at our home as he grew up and we got to see him at this worst and at his best.
Without his dad, "L" started slacking off with his homework. A very bright kid, but one who decided that he was not going to waste his school years studying because he wanted to have fun. My son and he had a short separation in the middle school years when my son's introverted personality made him a target for the popular wannabe kids and he was subjected to ridicule and called "gay." He was even accused of kissing a boy, and even though the boy who claimed he did it admitted he made it up, it made no difference. My son was stigmatized. "L," wanting to always be in the popular group, distanced himself from my son at this time.
For the high school years, my son made the best choice of his life. He went to a magnet school that not only took him away from the taunting peers, but one which put him with kids who were just as awkward as he was, but shared the same academic interests. "L," rediscovered my son during this time because he realized that my son would make it to a good college, where "L"s popular friends would be lucky to get into community college. My son and "L" were a wonderful compliment for each other. My son instilled a desire for college in "L" and "L" made sure that my son wasn't dressed like a complete geek.
Anyway, "L" never did make the academic grades. He fluffed off most of his primary education, but then it came time to write an admission's essay to the college of his choice, he wrote a slam dunk. In short, "L" admitted that the death of his father distracted him and that he didn't work as hard as he should have, but now that he was an adult, he was more focused and wanted a second chance. He sent one application to one school. It was a state school that both of his parents graduated from, so he was a legacy, and I know that it was that one factor which got him into that college.
I am a member of a minority group and I know that I got into college over thirty years ago based on Affirmative Action. My SAT scores sucked. My regular grades were acceptable, but the standardized test was totally alien to me. Back then we never prepared for them, the way they prepare for them today We were also told back then that there was no point in taking them again because you couldn't really improve your score. I was accepted into a private school, anyways, and it had less than 2% minorities at the time, so you do the Math. By the way, I didn't take one cent of public tax dollars to pay for my education. My dad paid every penny out of his pocket. I always said, my dad forfeited our childhood in order to pay for our college education. I never had the kind of fun that "L" was allowed to enjoy because my parents were always there to instill a mindset of hard work because they believed that we had to do our best, always, or we would never get a chance in life.
Now, looking back I know how hard both my kids study to get good grades and I know for a fact that most of their more caucasian friends aren't working quite as hard. Most of those white friends will be accepted into state schools, but if they don't, I'm sure they'll blame it on Affirmative Action. I know how "L" fluffed off his primary education, but I absolutely don't resent that he got in as a legacy. In "L"s case, I think the legacy option was a phenomenal opportunity for a bright child who could have fallen through the cracks. I absolutely don't think that same option should be provided for arrogant pricks who are born with a silver spoon in their mouths and grow up too entitled to bother to empathize with people who suffer hardships in their lives or who have to work hard to earn every break they get.
|