BUSH: Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity is Finally Over

[liberalpragmatist]

On oldie but a goodie from The Onion

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

January 17, 2001 | Issue 37•01

WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."

"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

Bush swore to do "everything in power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784?issue=4228&special=2001

[GCP]

1. This was so on the money it was eerie

I printed this out at the time - they were clairvoyant.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

2. What is the point of having the military industrial complex

own the government if the government won't do what it wants it to?

[StClone]

3. I blame the Onion

Because the village idiot reads The Onion.

[JuniperLea]

5. Love the dung beetle! eom

[gully]

4. I never tire of seeing this.

Amazing how many of us knew what was ahead.

[man4allcats]

6. Well, I guess we can't say the Nazi S.O.B. didn't fulfill his promise.

Now all we have to do is impeach, convict and at least imprison the little bastard. Personally, I think the law warrants the death penalty, but I'm willing to settle for his being sentenced to life in prison if that's the best we can get.

[Jackpine Radical]

8. Prison will do fine.

I don't believe in the death penalty, and I'll be damned if I revise my stance just because of slime like him.

[man4allcats]

9. Thanks for the reply.

I'd still like to see the little bastard in front of a firing squad, but I respect your beliefs and convictions. :thumbsup:

[muntrv]

7. Oh thank God those hellish days of budget surpluses

and bull market are over!!

[Freedom_from_Chains]

10. That was great, thanks for posting. n/t