What if he really was a chimp?

[Jed Dilligan]

Suppose it was revealed, beyond any reasonable doubt, that Bush is a chimp. That through a combination of shaving, makeup, lighting, and ventriloquism, the Republican party had sent an actual chimp, chimpanzee, pan troglodytes, to the White House.

What percentage of Americans would still stand behind him? And how quickly would we be called "bigots" if we question whether a great ape could actually govern a country?

[havocmom]

1. A real chimp would behave better or be driven off

[Janice325]

2. Unfortunately, I think we'd be in better shape if he really

were a chimp, as I'm sure a chimp would be much smarter than this dimwit.

[calico1]

3. He is NOT a real chimp.

How do I know? Because real chimps are highly intelligent, able to reason very well and also very caring. A real chimp would not have us in the mess we are in right now!

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

4. I'll give you the intelligent, part.

Therein you've got the difference between chimps and Bush.

Unfortunately, I can't agree with the "caring" part. Chimps are nasty animals. It makes sense, they share 99.5% of their DNA with humans.

[Jed Dilligan]

6. Nasty is right

Remember the story about the two chimps who got jealous because he brought a birthday cake to a third chimp? They took the guy's eye, his foot, and his balls off before someone shot them.

I can imagine Bush reacting like that if he didn't get all the cake.

People get mixed up between "cute" and "caring."

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

7. I haven't heard that story. But I believe it.

If you look at a chimp cock-eyed he'll rip your skull off and shit down your neck as an editorial retort.

[Jed Dilligan]

8. Here's a quick link

http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2005/03/04/chimpanzee-attack050304.html

If you dig deeper it's actually a great story if you like offbeat news that reveals how weird people's lives really are.

I haven't been around chimps much but I've been raided by a troop of baboon. They are a very unpleasant combination of smart, violent, organized, and powerful.

[filer]

5. I agree.

We owe an apology to that species.