Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:

[splat@14]

Shamelessly ripped off from people with more imagination than myself (still a good topic from a wonderful person and true patriot, Ann Richards)....
http://www.canofun.com/cof/blogg/default.asp?PageNo=2



1. You have to believe that the nation’s current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday’s gasoline prices are all Clinton’s fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don’t deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe…everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn’t diminish your opportunities, but you still won’t vote for Alan Keyes.
10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don’t pray to Allah or Buddha.
12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.

[Name removed]

1. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. 
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[jeff30997]

2. Goodbye!

:hi:

[Name removed]

3. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[MH1]

5. Damn, beat me to it while I was looking for the :think: smilie.

Ah, well.

Bye!

:hi:

[dogday]

9. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEkkkkkkkkkk!

It's a conservative.. Help me, somebody help me

[d_b]

11. Mashed potatoes, gravy, and cranberry sauce! woo!

[dogday]

13. Absolutely

:rofl:

[Orangepeel]

28. damn, I hope this subthread doesn't get deleted!

because that's the funniest thing I read all week!

:rofl:

[splat@14]

10. Think he should stay, maybe he can learn something beyond FOX...

[GoneOffShore]

19. And if you believe all that crap

Why are you supporting Casey?

You're no more a Democrat than Zell Miller.

Oh, perhaps you're a Dixiecrat.

That would explain a lot.

[malaise]

7. WTF was that?

Goodbye indeed.

[MH1]

4. I'm really not sure why you posted that

But, considering you were saying on another thread that you'd support Steele if you were in MD, I'd starting to get an idea.

:think:

[jdadd]

6. You must have copied that from

Free Conservative...Buh-Bye....:hi:

[Blue-Jay]

8. Die in a fire, motherfucker.

[Name removed]

12. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[mac56]

15. Hope you enjoyed your little prank.

Now be quiet - the grownups are talking about important things.

[jeff30997]

16. LOL!

:rofl:

[SammyWinstonJack]

30. !

:applause:

[GoneOffShore]

26. Stick around

but don't post unless you have something intelligent to contribute.

Otherwise, STFU.

[stepnw1f]

31. Republican = Torture

little brownshirt chickenhawks

[Rincewind]

34. one question before you leave

Really, one simple question before you leave. I have always wanted to ask someone like you this: does it hurt to be that stupid? I mean really, all, and I mean all, of your little "Things you must believe to be a Liberal Democrat", have absolutely no basis in reality.Are you really so mind numbingly stupid that you actually think any of that is true? Are you so weak minded that you think any of us will read that and decide we can't support Democrats anymore? Is your head so far up your ass that you think that we would all be intimidated by your searing commentary about our supposed values? On the plus side, you type very well with one hand.

[SammyWinstonJack]

35. Well said!

[Rincewind]

36. Thank you

Thank you very much. I usually just ignore the trolls that crawl out of the sewer, but tonight I'm in a bit of a mood. It's always nice to see my slight efforts appreciated by my peers.

[d_b]

14. Thanks for the laugh!

[GoneOffShore]

17. What do you want on your Tombstone?

I can see you now running off to the conservative site that you came from and complaining how your First Amendment rights were stifled here.

Rather disingenuous of you to post Republican talking points and expect anything but a chilly reception.

Where did you get this egregious piece of nonsense? Do you actually believe all these characterizations or are you just backwash? Oh well, we won't find out, because you're going bye byes.

[malaise]

25. Where is that priceless

Moran family photo. I'm sure an appropriate epitaph is right waiting to be lifted.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

18. ABTT -nt

[jeff30997]

21. ABTT ?

You're a member of the Association of British Theatre Technicians ? :shrug: :)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

23. Alert Before The Tombstone. A variant of IBTL (In Before The Lock.) -nt

[Nutmegger]

20. Oh brother...

:eyes:

[splat@14]

22. So, what were the other 14-15 post?

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

24. RW drivel. ALL of them. Yep, I did a search. -nt

[SammyWinstonJack]

32. Not worth reading, I am sure. nt

[mcscajun]

37. He was doing his "Zell Miller impressions"

Too, too transparent he was.

Used Democrat for Democratic, too.

[SammyWinstonJack]

29. WTF?

:wtf: You're a sicko!

[Individualist]

33. Another sign of a good republican

You can neither spell, punctuate nor capitalize worth a damn. It's a giveaway every time.

[OzarkDem]

27. Ann Richards making fun of Republicans

Am I the only one who gets this?

Its a pretty accurate description of GOP "values".