This should be required reading at the White House

[formercia]

http://rumandmonkey.com/articles/312/

The Art of the Lie

by Wes Johnson


Lies. They’re all about us, and everybody does it. Any one who says they don’t, is lying. Here’s the thing, though: most people are the suck when it comes to telling lies. They tell stupid lies, they lie at stupid times, they telegraph their lies, and they waste them.

Lies are a gift from God himself; part and parcel of that “freewill” and love he claims (the biggest lie of all) to have given us. As a holy gift, it behoves us not to take our lies lightly, to squander them on trivial matters like if we pissed on the toilet seat, or put the milkjug back in the fridge empty. Take your lies seriously, treat them like gold, and put some work into them, and they will be your faithful servants, your true friends, your chance at salvation and redemption. Take them lightly, use them out and up, and they will turn on you faster than that ex you gave the clap to. I am going to tell you how best to lie, when to lie, the types of lies, and how to do it without actually lying.