I had a slight meltdown in my doctor's office today

[Sydnie]

I went in for a physical. I have had somethings that are troublesome going on lately so I thought it was time that I went in for a physical. Now, my regular primary doctor is nearly impossible to get an appointment with these days as he is heavily into some research on men's health and is doing some academics around that subject as well. Not a problem. I saw another doctor in the practice who, in 18 years, has only seen me twice. But, he's a good doctor and easy to communicate with and I trust him. So, I go to the office and the first 10 minutes is spent catching him up with the things that brought me in to see him in the first place.

I had been telling him how stressed I was feeling and how I thought a good many of my complaints could very well be stress related. He listened and asked questions when more information was needed. Then he asked the big bombshell question : What do you think is the main source of all the stress you are feeling ... and the damn broke.

I started talking about how it had been growing since blivet** was selected in 2000, the Iraq war, the 2004 elections, and the current death of the country when we actually have to debate torturing people. By this time I was sobbing and having trouble speaking.

He responded by saying that he is hearing more stories like this lately and that he had even asked his wife, after a discussion of the latest torture debacle, "If they were still living in the right country". He said everyone he knows is feeling as I am to some degree these days.

By this time, I was quietly crying. He not only heard me, he agreed with me and didn't dismiss me as a crazed peri-menopausal woman! He understood and responded as I had hoped he would, with compassion, agreement, and validation that yes, things just could be stress related as I thought. He recognized my passion for this country and the sad state that our democracy is in and he didn't try to talk me out of my concern.

Together, we formulated a plan to address my stress levels, set up some tests just to make sure that things weren't being caused by something other than stress, and agreed to keep on fighting the good fight as each of us could.

I guess you could say that today, I actually DID have a doctor "practice his love" with me and he's not even a GYN. Take that blivet**. Take that!

Thanks for listening. I just had to share that experience.

[Booster]

1. He's definitely a keeper. My doctor's like that too - took me years

to finally find one that would listen and those are worth their weight in gold. Thanks for sharing this.

[liberaldemocrat7]

41. Torture, secret torture rooms, prisons with rape, suppression of dissent?

I have a new name for blivet** or whatever you call him.



SLOBOGEORGE MILOSEBUSH

[Clark2008]

65. So does that mean we need Wes Clark to take him out, too?

:hi:

[Sydnie]

88. blivet**

The term blivet derived from a World War II military term meaning "ten pounds of manure in a five-pound bag." I think it describes the current pResident to a tee. The asterisks stand for the fact that neither election was "clean" and he will forever have a footnote to his reign.

[Kenergy]

2. Thanks for sharing that

You not alone in feeling that way.

[blonndee]

3. Thank you for sharing this.

I've been having some health problems lately as well, and have come to believe it's related to my distress over the same problems. Stress can take an incredible toll on both the body and mind--and the two are so much more closely related than most people think. After all, the mind is PART of the body.

I'm sorry this has been happening to you, but I hope that today is a turning point and that things will get better for you with the methods you and your doctor discussed. I haven't mentioned any of the specifics with my doctors, although I have told them I'm feeling much more stress and anxiety than I used to. I always think they write me off after I tell them that, though. Too many of them treat it as something that's "all in my head" (as though I were just imagining my near-fainting spells, muscle weakness, memory loss, and numbness in my extremities) when I disclose my depression and anxiety. You'd think doctors would have gotten beyond the freaking 18th century, but too many of them haven't, unfortunately.

Best of luck to you and again, thanks for your post!

[knitter4democracy]

9. *whisper* Find a new doc.

Those are all serious problems. Have they really checked out your heart? Sleep study for apnea or other sleep disorder? A million things my hubby could rattle off without batting an eye? Never settle for a doctor who doesn't take serious symptoms seriously. I know finding a new doc is a pain (I'm in the midst of that right now, as I'd been seeing one of the partners but should switch due to work crap), but it's worth it if it saves your life.

[blonndee]

21. Thanks for that.

I wish I could afford to keep going to doctors, but my insurance is gone now, and my previous insurance sucked so bad that they're not even going to pay for PART of all the aforementioned diagnostics. It would be worth it, I agree, but I just don't have the money. I'm going to try to treat it with diet and maybe some meditation.

edited for TMI

[knitter4democracy]

95. *sigh* Wow. That's so very bad.

This is exactly why we need a national health insurance plan instead of the crap we have now. Those tests are expensive. Dang.

Yoga really helps me with my health problems. Is there a cheap class nearby?

[Gregorian]

4. You know what. I admire your bravery.

I finally melted down on DU today. But before that, I had tried to figure out where I could post how I felt. I couldn't. There is no place for that here.

But you did it. I'm really impressed with your brave ability to be honest and open.

It has been a horrible time. We've all reached the end of our nerves.

Let me tell you about a discovery I made the other day. My mother and father are both 80 years old, give and take a bit. They are very stoich. There was never emotion when I grew up. And I was shocked to hear, that my mother admitted recently that her and my dad have occassionally broken down and cried over the state of our country. If these two people are emotional, I can only guess what the rest of the country is going through.

Thank you for sharing your day. You don't know how it helps. It does. We all need to keep together and communicate.

[Straight Shooter]

38. For your mom and dad ...

:hug:

[bdamomma]

59. your mom and dad probably never thought the US was

ever going to be like this, Armenian too, am I correct?

[Gregorian]

74. My dad.

The weird part is, he speaks fluent Turkish. And Sibel Edmonds looks like my sister.

But yes, Kuljian.

[eleny]

5. I'm so glad for you and your sharing the experience helped me, too

K&R

[Erika]

6. This also happened after the election

So many of us looked forward to a Kerry victory that would bring peace to the world, and keep our taxes here to help our needy and our infrastructure. We could take care of our health needs and care about the American citizen again, and use our taxes for our own.

[knitter4democracy]

7. My hubby's alluded to similar things happening to his patients.

He's only said that more and more are coming in with high stress levels and real health problems because of it and they know they can tell him why, seeing as he is the lone Dem doc in the office. He doesn't advertise that, but everyone knows it.

You found a good doc. Keep him. One who listens, billing be damned, is hard to find these days with all the pressure on time and money and more money. I hope the practice keeps him there, since the partners who employ my hubby are being real jerks right now about his contract and we might have to move.

[Sydnie]

16. He spent an hour with me today.

I think he even stayed with me through his lunch time. Not even with my usual primary do I get an hour of his time.

I have been with this office, in one incarnation or another, for 21 years. He has been with them for at least 19 of those years. They were originally all together under an HMO that I had those many years ago. When the HMO broke up, they banded together, rented the office space they were using at the time from the HMO, and continued the services they had been providing under their own steam. A few years ago, the HMO sold the building they were using and they stayed together and moved into new facilities across the street from where they had been all those years. Some doctors have come and gone in those years, including a nurse practitioner that I loved dearly (who had come and gone twice ... they keep dragging her back into the practice!) but the core group has remained the same.

Now, there are doctors there that I prefer not to see and will only see them if I think I can't wait for one of my preferred providers, but this one I will see again. In four weeks, as a matter of fact. :)

Thank your husband for me. We need more like him out there. :hug:

[raccoon]

53. That is incredible!

" He spent an hour with me today."

I didn't think they made them like that any more! Usually they just rush you in and rush you out.

[knitter4democracy]

94. He's definitely a keeper.

Mine used to use lunch to round in the hospital, but since they changed to a different system, I'd bet that he uses lunch to see patients. That man never eats while at work . . .

He needs that thank you today. The partners gave him notice today, and he'll have to have a new job by the end of January. *sigh* They said that, even though he's profitable and a great physician, he was making "too much money." Yes, they were making money off of him, but they felt that his guaranteed salary that had been negotiated by the hospital was too much for them. How it's too much but they're still making a profit is beyond me. *sigh* Bad day here at our house . . .

[Sydnie]

98. k4d - I am so sorry

We could use another great doctor here in MA. Please come on over here ... where you will be appreciated, encouraged to continue studying and researching to find cures, and find patients who will appreciate his gentle caring attention.

Please give him a hug from me and my deepest thanks for what he has been doing for all of us, one person at a time. :grouphug:

[knitter4democracy]

105. I will. Thanks for that.

It's been rough around here for the last couple of weeks. The partners (Republicans, if that tells ya anything) have been pressuring him to go partner, but we didn't want to for many reasons (most of which is one of the partners and his overbilling of Medicare and his half-assed treatment of patients). They were mad that they were having to pay his salary, since the hospital had paid for his first two years.

It was all because they felt he was taking home too high a percentage of his billing (the money coming in from what he charged for patients and tests). He was profitable, he has a great reputation in town, he gets referrals from almost all the nurses and sees several doctors as patients, and he's had very few complaints--all of that meant nothing to them. They were making money off of him, but it wasn't enough, so they offered a massive reduction in salary instead.

Hubby's just sick about it. He loved working there (other than the jerk partner). If he stays in the area, the only job possibility is at a competing hospital (we're meeting with the president of that practice today), which will really piss off the hospital where he works now that recruited him and paid for him. He'll take a lot of patients with him, since it's not that far away. I hope, and I know this is small of me, that his current hospital then puts some real pressure on the partners and makes them pay for this.

We thought about going to the East Coast (Maine has many great job possibilities right now), but his mom is quite ill and is only a five hour drive away now. We're looking to stay within a day's drive from her (closer makes us all crazy). That said, a couple of places in Northern Michigan are offering some great deals.

Sorry to go on about this. It's just been so sudden and so maddening.

[truedelphi]

20. Thank goodness for doctors like Sydnie's and also your

Husband. Everyone seems to feel this way and it all seems so difficult.

One thing I did notice back when I lived in an area that got Air America, is
that all of a sudden many people were smiling or laughing while driving around in their cars. Behavior i had never seen in the Bay area for good long time.

Strength in solidarity I guess.

[colorado thinker]

8. I did something similar two weeks ago

My PA (doctor? I wouldn't recognize the doctor on my insurance card if I ran over her in the parking lot, I've been going to this family practice clinic for 10 years and have never been examined by a doctor. Which is okay cause the PA's are great there, but still . . . ) agreed with me as well that the state of the country and working in modern corporate America was the source of my anxiety attacks. However, she prescribed a mild anti-depressant, which I haven't taken yet. The attacks went away after I talked to her.

I'm planning to go to a yoga retreat nearby in the mountains. You might want to think about what you need to do to change the effects of the stress, i.e., simplify your life if possible, meditate, volunteer, get away from the news and indulge in a hobby, spend time taking care of yourself physically, and so on.

I never thought that my life in America would turn out like this.

[Carni]

52. JMO I wouldn't get involved in the meds right away

I have panic attacks too (also since bush!)

Believe it or not I have found the best way to get rid of one is to focus on something REALLY mundane--like drinking water, or chewing a piece of gum and just concentrating only on that act... focusing heavily on that one physical act of doing something (while I talk myself down)

For me the above usually works (not as quickly as I would like but it does work)

I think the real horror of having a panic attack...is not knowing what it is the first time it happens.

Once you have had one then they are a little easier to take because you know you aren't having a strke or heart attack!

Good luck to you! :)

[bleever]

10. Jeez

that's the best post I've read in ages for so many reasons.

:hug:

[Sydnie]

29. It's comforting to know

that you have your BIG EYE on me Bleev. :hug: right back.

[Liberty Belle]

11. I've been on the edge over this, too.

Some advice from a progressive leader....

Take action in as many ways as you can. But also take steps to protect your own mental health and stamina so you can fight this over the long haul.

Give yourself permission for a "time out" once in a while. That means take a day off, or a half day, or a weekend to escape the stress. Turn off talk radio and save the newspapers 'til Monday. Trust me, the world won't end if you focus on rest and relaxation without bombarding yourself with depressing news for a day or so. Have a glass of wine with a friend. Take a hot bath. Chocolate works wonders.

I have taken to focusing on the positives wherever possible. Organizing fundraising events, media plans and community outreach for progressive candidates locally working to grow membership in a new progressive pac. That brings positive energy that mobilizes our forces. Also writing the truth about what this administration is doing for progressive media.

I've also stopped bemoaning things in the past we can't do much about right now (such as what really caused 9-11). I refuse to look at any more photos of children wounded in the war, as it just gives me nightmares. I'm already sufficiently motivated to want to oust all the right-wingers from our government without giving myself nightmares.

Hope that helps.

[femrap]

19. Something that has worked for me is

going canvassing....the exercise of walking door to door and then giving my little schpiel about our candidates and our democracy makes me feel good. Most of the time, no one is home or they don't answer but the walking is good and reduces my frustration level. And I've met some cool people who are just as upset as me.

And if I come across a repugnant....I say there is no law against being stupid.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

12. a sympathetic ear and a good cry

jeez I envy you Syd!

:hug:

[ninkasi]

13. I'm experiencing a lot of stress

because of the damage Bush and his neocons are doing, not just here, but worldwide. This country will now condone torture, as long as Bush orders it? Every single thing that I used to feel made America great, he has trashed. I feel like I'm living in a dictatorship.

I hate it that America is being more and more perceived as a brutal, thuggish country, with a president who swaggers around and threatens, bullies, and intimidates other countries into doing things the way he wants them done.

He is the worst possible president, and I find it outrageous that he has gathered so much power for himself, when he is one of the worst people in the world to have that much power. I am simply horrified at the country the U.S. under Bush and Republican rule has become. This is a low point in our history, and I am bitterly ashamed of it, and him.

I'm glad you have such a caring, compassionate doctor, and hope that you are able to get some relief for the emotional stress you are under. It's not easy being an American who loves her country, and is watching it change into a very ugly nation under the current administration. I hope the old U.S. survives, and returns to us.

[MuseRider]

14. Wow, same thing happened to me

just a couple of months ago. I was amazed. Actually, lately I have been amazed at how many people say the same things and they know what is going on, maybe not to the extent that we do who live in this stuff but here in Kansas there are a lot of people who know exactly what is happening.

It is always nice to find a doctor you can talk to about the stress this is causing. I am glad he is helping you.

[mnhtnbb]

15. I'm so glad your MD was willing to spend time to listen to you.

I had a meltdown a week ago when it came time for my husband and me to sign the papers to refinance our house. The equity we're taking out is going to pay for the home we're building in Panama. Refinancing means that
within 5 years (probably springg 2008) we will have to sell this house in Chapel Hill-- if my husband wants to retire--because we won't be able to afford the payments.

I love Chapel Hill (where we live now). The decision to build in Panama was to create an escape from this country. I don't want to leave.
But neither of us wants to live in the kind of country the US is becoming.
We don't see it ending. Every day brings a new nightmare--now it's giving Bush the right to decide what constitutes torture.

What's the alternative to keeping your sanity? Leaving the country?
Turning off the news? Disconnecting from society? I don't know.
You have to find the path that's right for you.

Good luck to you. Thanks for posting your story.

[Brundle_Fly]

17. Passion!

Amazing story, had a very similar conversation with an Anglican Priest last year, and I am an agnostic as well.

Everyone is affected, whether you still feel alone, remember that, everyone has the flicker starting, they know things are amiss.

I hope the experience made you understand, you are not alone!

Good Night From Canada.

kissus.

[Erika]

18. Can you imagine the stress the Iraqis feel?

Because of W? Our stress must be minimal.

[populistdriven]

22. Iraqi's feel our stress times 1000

[Sydnie]

24. Funny you should say that

I do think of that everyday, believe it or not, in a very weird way.

I do my work in retail stores. I am in many different stores over the course of a week. I hear employees complaining, shoppers complaining, and vendors complaining. I can sympathize with them, empathize with them, and commiserate with them. Sometimes, I can dismiss them too as just so much foolishness.

But, what gets me thinking is when I hear young children screaming/crying/throwing a fit because they can't have the object of their desire, what ever that maybe at the moment. Now, I do remember what it was like to have a small child and can relate to the situation on it's face. But, where it gets weird is, I think ... that child is crying/screaming/fitting because they can't have some sugary treat or overpriced toy. How would they survive a day if they had to walk in the shoes of a child in Iraq, where the things being withheld or taken away completely from them are so much more life altering. I ponder just how spoiled we are as a nation as I hear all those complaints around me, from adult and child alike.

I was in a store yesterday and I overheard a conversation between a mother and her three children. One kid obviously had some money to spend (from a birthday perhaps?) and he was attempting to make his selection and stay within his budget. He had decided on two things, but he didn't have enough money for both and the mother was getting more and more frustrated with him. Then I heard her say, from the next aisle, "What the fuck Junior. You can't get both you idiot." Then she turned to the friend that was with her and said, "I wish I had a gun. I would just shoot myself right now." I thought, lady, if that is all it takes for you to go "postal" then you would never survive in what we have created in Iraq. The mothers there have so much more to concern themselves with, and they are a matter of life and death. Yet, she could stand there and curse her children loudly enough for all around to hear, tell them they were stupid, and wish herself dead because she couldn't be bothered to explain to the kid just what he choices he could make with the money that he had.

Yes, I think about things like this everyday. No wonder my stress level is through the roof, huh? :hug:

[bdamomma]

60. very good post Syndie, yes, I think sometimes people

have to put themselves in someone's else's shoes or country, to see how their whining just doesn't do it. I totally agree with you how spoiled we have become, and there are so many people who are totally ignorant and arrogant, it's a shame we are where we are, but gives me all the more reason to fight back.

[specimenfred1984]

23. Here's something that works for me

I tell off every repuke I know, everytime I see them. I used to joke about it while making fun of how stupid they are but recently I've started telling them directly that their acceptance of torture makes me have zero respect for them personally.

Confrontation doesn't work for everyone as I am very comfortable with confronting people. Still, as little as each of us are, keeping quiet is just not acceptable for many of us and it leads to mental problems if we stuff it.

These are huge issues today that cannot be minimized. Things like "privatization" of Social Security directly threatens all of us as does the issue of torture, outing CIA agents, ignoring entire U.S. cities like N.O., killing 1000s of soldiers for lies, rigging elections and the almost countless other crimes.

The only thing that is wrong with you is that you are aware of what's going on. Our current culture hates that.

[annabanana]

43. lol.. I like your style!. . . . . . . .n/t

[mwb970]

47. I don't know any Republicans.

At this point, every single person I know, closely or casually, is appalled and horrified by the criminality of King George and his court. The only time I hear a right-wing wacko is on the TV or when they call into progressive radio shows.

I can't imagine what I would say if someone I knew and actually cared about started parrotting Bushbot talking points, pimping Hannity, etc. I'm afraid I would simply lose it - the frustration inside me is worse than anything I have ever felt in my life (I'm 56). I feel sorry for anyone in front of me when it finally comes out.

[specimenfred1984]

81. They sound exactly like they do on TV

and act the same way. They either start screaming in my face or walk away shaking their heads while staring at the ground. They recite soundbite after soundbite, always blame Clinton and the "lib" media and insult every source of information I give them.

Once they are beaten into submission with real information, they try to act friendly which is why I used to just make fun of them at that point. Now when they reach that point, I tell them that they disgust me personally.

I live in the D.C. area and am involved in a lot of sports so I see and talk to these people in an environment where I can confront them. But, I do it everywhere I go now and have noticed a lot of other people doing the same thing. It's really harsh, especially if the chimpzombie is an elderly person, in the military or a church-type.

Confrontation isn't for everyone, it definitely ends "friendships" that weren't really one to begin with.

[butterfly77]

87. They walk alike , they talk alike....

and they all use the same words and phrases. The diffence between them and us is we don't need anyone to tell us what is right or wrong we live it and feel it, they live in there on little world and societies so they believe that they are correct. But, they wake up when they see the complexion of their neighborhoods changing ...

[Lydia Leftcoast]

25. I've noticed that I feel lighter and more relaxed somehow

when I'm out of the country.

[PretzelzRule]

34. Same here

I was in Quebec for a week last May, and it was bliss. Real news on TV, not infotainment. I hadn't been back five minutes before it struck me hard how poisonous the culture is in the States.

[Divernan]

50. You are so correct with that observation, LL.

I spent a week in Dublin, Ireland this summer to take a class. The people were happy, friendly, erudite & humorous. While I was there, their Supreme Court was forced to release an admitted,convicted pedophile from prison because of a legal loophole stupidly ignored by their legislature & prime minister. The multiple large newspapers provided thorough analyses of the problem & reamed politicians of all parties; people from all parties rallied in huge public demonstrations, and the legislature called an emergency session to address the problem within 3 days! I managed to be one of four outsiders allowed to observe the Senate debate on the issue. It was fantastic!
Not one damn media outlet defended either the PM or any of the legislators! Accountability was the law of the land!
Is that anyway to run a country? Damn straight!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

56. When I was in England this summer, I noticed that there was a real gap,

perhaps based on the class system, between the tabloid press and the more serious press. The tabloid press was as bad as ours, perhaps worse, but the serious press, even the Murdoch-owned Times, was erudite (a word you don't see very often in reference to things American), thoughtful, and only slightly colored by ideology. The letters to the editor were also extremely thoughtful and well-written.

I also enjoyed BBC radio, especially BBC3 (classical music) and BBC4 (news and information).

On the whole, though, it was just PLEASANT to be out of the country, even though the UK definitely has its share of problems.

(I'm looking forward to an all-too-brief business-related trip to Japan later this year :-) )

[bdamomma]

61. one question though if you lived out of country would you

still do everything in your power to stop what is going on in your own birth country? for example absentee voting, send in monetary donations and get in touch with your Senators and Reps. Just wondering.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

68. Politically active exiles are a long-standing tradition

Every dictatorship has produced them: Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union, China, the Latin American dictatorships of the Reagan era, Iran...

[raysr]

26. We have to fight back

we have to meet them with what they dish out. Repugs will never vote Dem. Fuck them to hell. Unload your stress where it is caused. Find the nearest Xian or Repuke and tell them what you think of them. I'll bet you'll feel better for it.

[Liberty Belle]

31. In our area we are converting a lot of Republicans to vote Democratic.

You have to find out why they vote Republican.

Many are fiscal conservatives or small business owners. We recruited a candidate who supports small businesses and is offering them tax relief, but says it's time to stop corporate welfare by companies like Exxon Mobile and WalMart. He also supports universal healthcare and points out that this will reduce medical premium costs for employers and provide healthier employees. The small business people love him.

For religious conservatives (some of whom are hopeless) the trick is to find morally reprehensible things that their Republican representative has done, ie, convince them that voting for a pro-choice Democratic is the lesser of two evils than voting for someone who is harming THEIR children. for instance, when I tell mothers here that our State Senator voted for a bill to allow spraying of experimental, untested pesticides in schools - and that one of his biggest contributors is the chemical industry -- they almost always say they'll vote for our candidate.

If you treat someone like they're stupid, you won't win their vote. But if you do them a favor and enlighten them on the issues that matter most to them, you have a reasonable shot at success.

Our candidate locally even ventured into a cowboy rodeo bar during a chamber of commerce event for a Republican running for another office. By the time he finished working the room, he had half the Republicans there voting for him and even got money from a GOP banker.

It CAN be done, with the right candidate and a lot of patience.

[raysr]

37. Sounds like you have some with brains!

[Liberty Belle]

39. Many do, though not all.

We give up on those brainless bigots who support minutemen marching on the border and think saving stemcells is more important than saving lives of people already born.

[1932]

27. I wonder if drug co. execs read this and think, ka-ching, I'm supporting

the Republicans some more!

Can you see the commercials? Politics have you down? Ask your doctor for halucinan. It's the blue pill! Side effects may include not voting.

[Sydnie]

30. We did touch on the "necessary evil" of the big pharms today too

And he agreed with me, but he wrote presecriptions for me all the same. Sometimes, I guess you just can't escape it completely, can you?

[peacetalksforall]

28. Two guys in black clothes knocked on the door and wanted to talk

about religion. I surprised myself by getting angry, but I somewhat calmnly said I was sorry; that I had had it with religion ... as I closed the door. They said they were sorry and asked if there anything they could do. I remember cautioning myself not to get into it with them - two young kids - but in anger I said - yes there is something you can do - get us a new President. They looked stunned. I got to close the door and was left wondering where that instant anger came from. I turned a solicitation about religion into politics in a nano-second.

[Sydnie]

33. It's the bubbling rage

That is how I explained it today. It started out as mild depression but is now a rage that lies so close to the skin that a mere splinter can be a gaping hole in seconds. I can so relate to what you are talking about.

I keep a few of these flyers printed for when they come to my door to push their religious choices on me. It seems to help me to keep the rage to a low rumble. I highly recommend this approach. I take their literature, if they will take mine. http://www.oldamericancentury.org/smell_the_fascism2.pdf

[IndyOp]

49. Okay now I have to confess. I went postal on two Mormon kids...

The college-aged guys who wear dark pants with light shirts and ties - who wander neighborhoods trying to get people to believe what they believe. Usually, I just think sadly about how they are wasting their energy - but hope that they get something out of it or do something small but good for someone along the way. This time they came at me while I was walking my dogs with a SALES attitude - persist, poke, ask again - and I went POSTAL:

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT THE CHILDREN IN IRAQ WHO ARE DYING NOW?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT THE FASCISTS TAKING OVER OUR COUNTRY?
WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT THE CHILDREN IN IRAQ WHO DIED DURING ECONOMIC SANCTIONS?

YOU ARE DOING NOTHING THAT MATTERS IN THIS WORLD.
STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE TO BELIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND DO SOMETHING TO SOLVE THE REAL PROBLEMS IN THIS WORLD.
UNTIL YOU START DOING THAT GET THE F* AWAY FROM ME.

I feel disgustingly guilty. My responding that way is just wrong. Really wrong. I could've said something about their time & energy being better spent mowing lawns and cleaning the homes of the elderly or helping to build a community center in an economically-depressed area. I could've said that I will be ready to listen to what the Mormons teach when I see them acting out their love instead of preaching it.

Mea maxima culpa.

[peacetalksforall]

66. They are all over the world and I feel they have helped other

people in many ways. I don't know how they help in the U.S. They probably do. BUT, we are now in the same state as people in the rest of the world.

Billions of the taxpayer dollars went to the corporations for their war against the people who walk over ground that has oil below their feet to the detriment of our hungry, homeless, uninsured, uneducated, and addicted to their couch or those worse. Some with little hope.

We are on our way to becoming a third world country ourselves. We don't need neat, clean kids converting us when they vote so wholeheartedly for the people who take away the rights of our own citizens.

[calimary]

99. NO! You did GREAT! I myself do NOT appreciate these religious

Fuller Brush salesmen coming to MY door, wanting to invade MY privacy, to talk me out of MY belief system and into theirs. WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY to tell me their way is better?

When people like this REALLY practice what they preach, when they try to emulate the true teachings of Christ instead of perverting his message 'cause they hate gays or deep-down regard women as second-class citizens or worse - mere property, when they recognize and outwardly follow what Jesus taught in the Beatitudes, when they aren't anxious to go out and make war and destruction and death and mayhem in the name of some western jihad, THEN I'll listen. I figure I've got at least another two or three thousand years before I have to start doing that.

I had this distasteful experience on an airplane where I was a captive audience to this snake in sheep's clothing who sat next to me - one of those "nice, clean-cut, suit-n-tie" ralph reed wannabes, who struck up a conversation with me during the flight. He got quickly to the business at hand. He was "prospecting." Trying to save any soul he could along the flight path, and mine happened to be the first one. He asked "are you saved?" I said yes, born and baptized Roman Catholic. It was as though he hadn't heard me. "But are you SAVED?" And it deteriorated into the fact that I was not specifically "born-again" into HIS particular denomination of 12th Century thinking. I tried logic. I tried debate. I finally gave up and just lied. Made like I was giving in to him and seeing the light and we held hands and he prayed over me and I looked at my watch. He wanted to pursue "our conversation," and gave me his number. He insisted on getting mine. So I made one up and gave him that.

It was kind of the chicken's way out, but it allowed him to think he'd scored one, and soon enough he left me alone. I threw away the note with his phone number, and obviously he couldn't track me down, either. I gave him a fake name - first name only.

Sometimes you have to take the path of least resistance with these people. Lie to them and tell them they're convincing you and getting through and you're probably going to convert because they make so much sense. Then give them a phony number and disappear. 'Cause some of these souls simply cannot be saved. You'll NEVER talk sense into people like these. So the better strategy is as they say in the Bible - shake the dust of this forsaken place off your sandals and move on. Besides, if you tie them up in what they don't realize is a dead-end conversation, you'll have spared someone else who might not be as strong and resistant from being preyed upon. Sometimes I like to tie these people up in long conversations (phone callers like this are great to play with) and waste their time and run up their phone bills or the time on their "meters" and run out the clock on 'em so they're off their schedules.

There are MANY ways to deal with these people. Passive-aggressive like this is as valid as confrontation sometimes, and they never feel THIS particular sword when you thrust it in.

[bobbieinok]

103. I've been in congregations where speaker boasted of his 'witnessing'

on the plane. They start and end their talks with comments like 'so you see, you must not hesitate to share your faith; many are just waiting for someone to speak to them.'

[bdamomma]

62. I probably would have said the same thing

these thugs who carry the cross and flag are biggest hypocrites.

[butterfly77]

76. This is an coincidence because..

This just happened to me about an hour ago. There were two women at the door and as soon as I saw them I became very angry. I asked the lord to forgive me. I have been feeling the same way about religion and politics thing. My daughter has been asking me why I won't go to church. I think that I don't go to church because, I feel that they have infiltrated the church with their evilness.

[peacetalksforall]

82. I find I am grieving as if a close loved one had died. Though

I abandoned church services, I always said I was xxxx I am grieving for my country and no religious spokesperson or conversion hustler can help me because a lot of people claiming to be religious voted my country right out from under me. I never knew how much I treasured my country until people (who went as far as bragging about their morality and Christian and Jewish superiority) killed my country - vote by vote, tv appearance by tv appearance, obfuscation by obfuscation, agenda by agenda, Representative/Senator by each other.

Many, many people headed out to church last Sunday with no idea of what was going to go down for this country this week - or what has gone down during the past six weeks or years - even if their well rewarded reverend preached politics and Muslim/Mexican hating to them during the entire service.

Yep, save the fetus and let it grow up to take away our country, our vote, our privacy, our planet protection by treaty. Yep, save the fetus and let it grow up to be sent off to fight a corporate war against inncocent people. Yep, save our fetus and let it grow up to off and fight for corporation for peanuts while private soldiers make 100 times more and don't have their benefits negated or promises unkept.

[butterfly77]

86. I know the feeliing..

I can't even look at church on television because I begin to get angry and question the pastor and his motives or the subject he may be preaching or teaching on. I wonder if they are part of the faithbased iniatives. What is the faith based groups doing for the homeless.

[LittleClarkie]

32. I envy you. Mine didn't get it at all

No clue when I broke down right after the 2004 election. None at all. And I told him why, too. Right over his head.

[IndyOp]

51. Right over his head.

I am sorry... You reaction to the result of the 2004 election was absolutely sane - you were seeing rightly.

:hug:

[Rowdyboy]

35. My doctor is just as cool, though she's just a nurse practicioner.....

She's warm, personal, interested and knows who I am and what my politics are. We're compatible.

[pansypoo53219]

36. for health reasons, i need to avoid stress. HA HA!

since i discovered blogs. certain blogs. and here and starting my own blog where i can rant rant rant.
and do i have the bush related tourette's when i listen to the news. and i don't let any ANY republican get away with squat now. i am a fire-breathing democrat. (actually i am socialist and or progressive LIBERAL, but pragmatic, but i ain't stupid enough to not vote dem)
my mother said i had gotten on my soap box today. NO, not soap box, i am fighting the destruction of the best thing by fucking stupid humans.
primal scream therapy!

[marions ghost]

40. thanks for posting

To hold all this distress inside is damaging. It needs to come out somewhere. It's hard to avoid the anger that comes with being victimized by irrational forces. I'm convinced we are seeing a national nervous breakdown at this point. And after the breakdown we need to work on national recovery.

I had the recent experience of finding out that a doctor of mine is actually considering leaving the country because of the Bushco damage. She is "getting her affairs in order" in case they decide to do that. I was surprised at this. I thought she would be the type to stay the course, come what may. It has a lot to do with the effects of the 'war' for her, as she has teenagers and feels they will inherit a serious mess. Disconcerting, but interesting --to find out that our feelings are mutual when I hadn't really revealed the depth of my concerns about it. Her coming out with her Plan B was at least validating. Leaving the country is not an option for me, but it's important to feel supported in strongly rejecting what is going on now, and I certainly got that out of talking to her. You don't have to be a weatherman to know which way the wind blows (credit Bob Dylan I think).

With all the stresses of life now, we did NOT need the job of salvaging the country. We did NOT need the fight for Democracy to take place 'over here.' But that is undeniably the position we are in.

:grouphug:

[The Backlash Cometh]

42. What a wonderful ending to a story that we can all relate to.

There was another DUer who was questioning whether he should continue with a shrink who had a W sticker on his car. I hope he reads this so he can understand that there are better options out there.

Thanks for sharing. Maybe we should also share the names of good doctors, like yours, when we find them.

[Red Right and BLUE]

44. I am going through this, too.

I always feel alone when it hits me but I know there are others going through it too, like you. Now it's becoming a daily thing. I have had a sinus infection for 2 weeks that I couldn't figure out. It finally dawned on me that I cry freqently now.


I fell APART and SOBBED after watching Syriana recently. It was just too poigniant. I feel bad for my husband, because he's helpless when I'm this upset. All he can do is be my shoulder. He's a good one. But I feel I need more professional help now.

I've lost friends who are tired of me writing political blogs that they DON'T have to read. No one forces them to, so I don't get that. That in itself is pretty depressing. But then just tonight, the first time my mother mentioned the war to me, was just the last straw. She just has no ide what she's tlaking about.

To give some perspective, I consider myself a political n00b. It was the run-up to the 2004 election that got me to wake up. But still, it FLOORS me to hear my own mother simply repeat things that she has heard form other idiots. Things someone as ignorant and uninformed as she is has NO BUSINESS saying. Things that have to do with the LIVES of others.

"Iraq is against the u s a and Ireal has become corrupt and GOD said so." "There's too much crime in town. America should be better. If people want to shoot people they should go to Irag." WHAT THE FUCK. I don't understand it and I never will. I did what I could but I don't think she is reachable. I don't know if I could handle ever talking to her again (she wasn't the best mother, so it's not JUST this, but this is pretty bad in itself; I know most of you understand that).

Thanks for the thread, I needed to talk about this but wasn't sure where to start. Sorry I ranted in your thread, but you are not alone. I want so badly to give up and stop listening. But I refuse to be wilfully ignorant. That's what got us into this mess.

[dapper]

45. That was me 3 years ago...

I was having palputations (sp?) my chest hurt all the time, I thought I was having a heart attack. Some days I felt somewhat lightheaded.

I had a battery of test done over the next two months and finally I figured out, I was having panic attacks.

There is more to the story but the day I took my first 10mg of Lexipro, man... that was a good day! I was cured! :-)

It was the worst 2 months of my life.

Dap

[Vinca]

46. The past couple of days I've felt on the verge of tears.

Torture is the last straw. I feel as if I'm observing the death of a loved one and in a sense I am. The death of America.

[leftchick]

48. I talked to my Doctor the day after shock and awe

I have Xanax now for really bad days. Like today.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

54. Use of sleeping aides in the US is up significantly - escaping reality?

I know how you feel Sydnie - sometimes I lie in bed praying that Bush et al will get a conscience, that they will stop screwing up our country.

But, ya know, after Clinton spoke on Fox, I felt hopeful, and fired up. God, I wish he were running our country.

[bdamomma]

55. your dr. was very compassionate and supportive.

and he listened.

[helderheid]

57. Is he in Utah? Can I get a referral??? Well done my friend. Thank you

for sharing this story. We are all so distraught.

[Ian David]

58. You're not the only one. I feel much the same way.

See also:

Andrew Veal
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Andrew Veal was a man who committed suicide at Ground Zero the day after George W. Bush was declared the winner in the 2004 Presidential Election.

Another coworker recalled Andrew asking him three days before the election whether or not a suicide at ground zero would be symbollic. However, there were significant personal circumstances surrounding Andrew Veal before the election which may have cemented his decision to end his life. Andy was believed to be depressed long before the election, and it is confirmed that he had an affair while his fiance was attending school in another part of the country.

More:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Veal

[radfringe]

63. About 3 years ago I'd wake up in the morning with my jaws

hurting.. my partner said it was probably because I was grinding my teeth at night...

I never did that before and couldn't pinpoint any major cause of stress other than my fibra myalgia acting up from time to time..

had an appointment with the Dr about the fibra myalgia anyways, I mentioned about the teeth grinding. He prescribed some sleeping pills. I tried them, yeah, I slept but I had the most weird and disconserting dreams...

stopped the pills and took up a pencil -- started drawing toons

does two things - lets me give myself a chuckle while taking a slam at smirk-boy and the gopers...

[npincus]

64. I feel your pain.

I'm glad you got it out that way, it soundes very helpful.

[HamdenRice]

67. It's called "Bush related mental illness syndrome"

I actually came across something about this a year or so ago, but this was before Katrina, before the war crimes immunity act. Thank you so much for sharing, because I think I am suffering from the same syndrome.

Incidentally, my sister is a doc, and she confirmed that it is likely to be a real malady.

I also think they are doing this on purpose -- in other words, not just fuck up the country, but do so in such an egregious and arrogant manner that it leaves its potential allies disabled by the mental effects of their awful spectacle.

[LSK]

69. thats a great story Sydnie

You are lucky to have an understanding doctor like that. I hope things get better come November!

Please take some downtime for yourself and do other things.

:hug:

[sickofthis]

70. interesting visit with the dentist last week

hi. first post. been reading here since nov 04...i don't talk much:)

anyway, i was at the dentists the other day, and i had to get a full set of xrays taken. the tech who did the xrays was a talker and we got to chatting. we were discussing various teeth-related things and then she said 'i'm taking a poll of all my patients today. the question is 'do you love our president?' i was quite surprised but replied 'lady you gotta be kidding! i can't stand the guy!' and then we proceeded to spend the rest of my time in there ranting and raving at each other about how bad things have gotten etc etc. one thing she said i really liked 'i'm 44 years old, i've never been political in my life. now i feel like i don't have a choice but to be political, these people in there now are so awful.'

if i was smart i'd have asked her how the conversation went with people who replied that they did love bush and thought he was doing a good job...cause that's a lot more interesting than two people who agree. i have to wonder if she was REALLY asking all her patients, or if she could just look at me and know that it was pretty unlikely i was a die-hard republican...who knows.

anyway it made me happy and i thought i'd share with you folks as well.

cheers.

[gristy]

73. Welcome to DU!

Hope to hear more from you. Again, welcome! :hi:

[nomatrix]

75. Welcome to DU, Sickofthis!

Thanks for sharing your experience. Happy moments see to be rare these days and it's always good to spread what little there is around.

[file83]

101. Great story!! You should post more often :-)

:hi:

[StellaBlue]

71. If we feel this way - how do Iraqis feel?

http://www.thewe.cc/thewei/&/images3/2004_war_photos_december_1/r691582175.jpe

http://www.thewe.cc/thewei/&/images3/2004_war_photos_3/mother_in_grief.jpe

[angstlessk]

72. How great for you..the only sympathic ear I have outside my home is

the office mailman..and he and I talk daily. He and I am on the same page..

You brought a tear to my eye..knowing how you must have felt comforted!

[elehhhhna]

77. lol. My Doc told me I'm "paranoid" after a discussion about stolen elec-

tions.

I asked if that was his Professional Opinion? HE blushes nad said "no". Jerk.

[stanwyck]

78. The Bush administration is bad for our health

and competent medical doctors need to realize this and treat their patients for the problems associated with having our Constitution distorted and our heritage blasphemed.
We're worried sick, literally, by living under a secretive administration that lies, promotes surveillance of civilians, and condones torture.

[Patsy Stone]

79. Syd...

:hug:

I've dropped 12 pounds since he was re-selected in 2004. I woke up on that Wednesday morning to find that Ohio was in the "unsure but looking like Shrub" column, threw up, and basically stopped eating for about a year. I've finally begun to get my appetite back, everything tasted like ashes in my mouth.

I hear you, I feel your pain, and I share your stress. Without DU, I think I would have been committed to an asylum by now.

:loveya: and hang in there.

[stop the bleeding]

80. we all are feeling it - hanging over us like a cloud

that is getting darker and bigger everyday

screw these assholes

[Kurovski]

83. Thanks Sydnie.

About three years ago a friend of mine said this government affects everything negatively, right down to personal relationships.

I hope all is well with the tests, and that the stress program makes a difference. :hi:
:hug:

[Mnemosyne]

84. Just this Sydnie -

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[CTyankee]

85. Thank you. I know how you feel

My meltdown was last week when my good friend's husband died after being sick only 3 weeks. It was such a shock. I am feeling so down about the torture debate, the war in Iraq, Lieberman being up 10 pts over Ned Lamont in the most recent poll, and the rest of this bloody awful campaign. I'm having nightmares. I'm preparing my Living Will next week and putting my affairs in order. I just turned 67 and too many friends and relatives are dying. Too much death. Too much destruction in the world on our account.

I guess we just have to help each other out of this. I don't know what else to do. I really don't.

[MissMarple]

89. Good for him! I know how you feel. Hubby told me to stop obsessing

about things I have no control over and do something real. So I now volunteer for a local campaign. It helps a lot. We may not win, the odds are not in our favor, but we are making inroads in an otherwise very "safe" Republican house district. This torture issue will turn more minds away from George and his junta. The CIA isn't happy, the military isn't happy...pretty soon our representatives won't be happy either. If not this election...then the next. I'm with Howard Dean.

And that peri menopause thing...hooboy! Mine isn't so bad, or so I've been told. Ah huh.

[NotGivingUp]

90. Hope you feel better now. That sure is something to hear that he's

been seeing more of this lately. Makes you feel not so alone, but it also makes you feel like what are we going to do. This all seems so unreal.

[bobbolink]

91. Try taking all those stressers and adding HOMELESS to them.

Yeah, my body is definitely falling apart, and there's nowhere to go with it.

CUZ, when you're homeless, you're at the bottom of the pile.

No wonder so many homeless people are cashing in their chips, eh?

I'll wish you good luck, if you'll wish me the same.

[Sydnie]

92. Oh my gosh I certainly do!

:grouphug:

I understand how you feel as well as I can. I have never been homeless myself, but I have come very close to it a couple of times. Seems I have this thing about taking in people when they have no where else to go. My ex used to call it "picking up stray people like others do stray animals" and he used to complain that "the inn was full" quite often.

I hope that things turn around for both of us. Please try to keep yourself safe out there. I wish I could offer more help than that though. You have an ear anytime you need one, friend.

[bobbolink]

93. Thank you so very much! I tossed that out there in a cavelier manner

because I'm used to it not mattering here.

And getting snarky replies.

And, yes, it hurts.

I do wish you well.

As the Hawaiians say, "Malama pono!" (take care)

Smell deep of those roses, cuz that's about all we have now.

That and hysteria! :pals:

[redqueen]

96. that's wonderful

i wonder how many other doctors are seeing the same thing...

i found out during one of my most recent visits that my GP is a republican... die hard, even... thinks our economic troubles are reagan's faults... and the good years under clinton were due to reagan's & bush's policies.

*sigh*

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

97. Sorry you're going through tough times.

hopefully, it will start getting better in '08.

[democrank]

100. Here`s a hug, Sydnie.

Hang in there.

[wordpix]

102. my bf had a meltdown like this too, 2 yrs ago, a combination of Bushstress

and physical issues. He is now on heavy combinations of herbs and natural antibiotics and was in therapy. He's learned to deal with Bush and is turning his musical talents into antiwar, antiBush music. He has a new song he's trying to get on Air America: I'm Talking to You!

[stillrockin]

104. I had a similar experience following the 2004 "election".

My doctor (female) was very sympathetic as well and listened to me as I sobbed, wept, and haltingly explained how depressed I was about Bush Co. Once I started it was hard to stop. Today I have been tearing up on/off for a couple of reasons: 1) the damn bill that was passed and 2) my increasing feeling of alienation from any political party. Today was the day to take a stand and no one did.