BREAKING-God says he favors torture

[underpants]

Boca Raton (AP)- The all mighty made a rare appearance Wednesday night in an event organized by RNC chair Ken Mehlman. He who is him said that de deemed it important to air his opinion on a divisive issue within his political party, torture.

Speaking to a pool of reporters on a conference call the Lord revealed, via a syrupy southern accent, that the torture of detainees in the Global War on Terror was fine and just sayeth he, “Look we have to fight ‘em there so we don’t have to fight ‘em here”.

God would not comment on disparaging remarks his son is reported to have made sayething, “I don’t think we should get into any particulars” adding “we don’t want to give away any techniques they train on those things”

RNC chair Mehlman said that this press conference was requested through President Bush who stays in contact with the Lord on an almost daily basis, time and schedule permitting.


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[Hubert Flottz]

1. Why else would he have created Republick'ems?

[datasuspect]

2. he didn't have a problem when torquemada used it during the inquisition

hey torquemada, what do ya say?

i just back from an auto de fe.

auto de fe? what's an auto de fe?

it's what you oughtn't to do, but you do anyway!!!!

[DoYouEverWonder]

3. Tomorrow Bush is expected to announce

the new, improved, revised 10 Commandments.

I hear they are going to replace 'love thy neighbor' with 'thou shalt torture thy brother and thy sister'.

[Crankie Avalon]

4. "God would not comment on disparaging remarks his son is reported...

...to have made..."

"Well, what do y'all expect from that boy--he died under torture so he's too close to the issue to have any unbiased perpective on it. Ah mean, fruit o' mah loins or not, that boy ain't right."

[underpants]

7. Jewish too

but as Sen.Allen says that isn't really relative now is it?

[eallen]

5. Ever read the Old Testament?

Samuel said to Saul, "I am the one the LORD sent to anoint you king over his people Israel; so listen now to the message from the LORD. This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.' " (1 Sam 15:1-3)

There are a lot of stories like that. The Old Testament God orders genocides, commands the slaughter of children, and does all sorts of vicious stuff.

[MessiahRp]

6. Old Testament sounds like people messed up who was God

It's filled with such rage and anger and vengeance I wonder if it's not the story of Satan rather than God.

Rp

[rkc3]

8. IIRC, Jesus told his followers that he came to

rewrite the OT and show a good and merciful God to his people.

[eallen]

9. You recall incorrectly. He said he came to FULFILL the Old Testament.

Even though the new religion clearly was a break with Judaism, the gospel authors were careful not to posit it as a denial of Judaism, but as an extension to it. In the same way, Islam incorporates Moses and Jesus into itself.

And if you look at orthodox Christian theology, it is "merciful" only in the sense of bronze-age blood sacrifice. The standard Christian soteriology is: (a) Every human is condemned due to Adam's breaking the original convenant. You inherit the guilt of your father. (b) God's act of mercy in the New Testament is to offer himself, in the person of Jesus, as a blood sacrifice to pay for this. (c) This creates a "new deal," by which those who believe and accept this blood sacrifice are saved, and the rest remain condemned. There are a lot of problems with this, not the least of which are what kind of justice requires blood sacrifice, why men need forgiveness for Adam's sin, why a merciful God wouldn't just extend that forgiveness, and how the "new deal" is anything less that intellectual blackmail.

[rkc3]

11. Holy Shit! 11 years of Catholic education shot to hell.

No wonder I'm all screwed up.

[eallen]

13. The Catholic Church still claims that communicants eat the literal body...

Blood sacrifice and ritual cannibalism.

[rkc3]

14. Well aware of that - but I never looked at it as ritual cannibalism.

More of a statement of your devotion to Jesus and the suffering he went through to save our souls. It's the other christian sects who have devalued this sacrament. Anyone who walks through the door can receive communion - regardless of belief or understanding of the intention of the sacrament.

[eallen]

17. Those inside a religion find it natural. Those outside, strange.

A Christian look at some tribe that practices another form of ritual cannibalism as primitive. Those inside the tribe would view their practice in spiritual terms not unlike the Christian, and would view some other tribe's different practice as horrific, and maybe the Christian's also.

[genie_weenie]

10. When people say God they are refering to Wotan.

You do know that, right...

Blood Eagles and Tree Hangings sacrifices for all!

[Raffi Ella]

12. What a

Freakin' LUNATIC!

[Anarcho-Socialist]

15. Ah, Compassionate Conservatism n/t

[Fleshdancer]

16. It's not torture, it's just a Jesus love tap. n/t