President Clinton Jails 938,000 Illegal Enemy Combatants

[bustarbusto]

President Clinton Jails 938,000 Illegal Enemy Combatants

"By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
Washington, D.C., February 2, 2009

A mere two weeks into her tenure, President Hillary Rodham Clinton has announced a sweeping roundup of illegal enemy combatants, the first step in a comprehensive program designed to protect the American people from potential terrorist activities. In accordance with the Military Commissions Act of 2006, the nearly one million detainees will be held indefinitely without trial or recourse to legal counsel until such time as the President determines they no longer pose a threat to the United States and its allies."

Full article

[RobertSeattle]

1. Maybe I'll go into the Waterboard business...

:evilgrin:

[Dem2theMax]

2. This would make me howl with laughter -

if I knew that they couldn't do it to us first.


~snip~


While the names and crimes of the detainees are classified to protect the interests of national security, a clue as to some of their identities could be gleaned by means of a stroll though major government offices around the country. Four of the nine Supreme Court Justices, for example, failed to show up for work, as did approximately 220 congressmen, 52 senators and a number of governors and presiding justices of district and appellate courts. The vast majority of absentees, coincidentally, were Republicans, in particular those congressional republicans who had voted for the impeachment of former president Bill Clinton.

Additionally, the silence at certain major media outlets including Fox News, radio commentators on the Clear Channel network, the Washington Times, The New York Post, the Weekly Standard, the Wall Street Journal editorial page, and other news and infoganda providers suggested a number of detainees may have been extracted from those ranks. A significant number of fundamentalist clergy apparently also disappointed their congregations with their unexpected absences.

The detainees, Mr. Grisley said, may include large numbers of unspecified members of the George W. Bush administration, the George H. W. Bush administration, and in many cases both. By an amusing coincidence, he said, many of those detained were the ones most influential in the creation and passing of the law that permitted their indefinite detention.

"This sweep is by no means a witch hunt or a fishing expedition," Mr. Grisley said. "These illegal enemy combatants are definitely guilty of something. We just have to find out what. And thanks to the Military Commissions Act, we have the tools at our disposal to do so."

[cheesloaf]

5. I love political karma

Snipped from your snip:

"By an amusing coincidence, he said, many of those detained were the ones most influential in the creation and passing of the law that permitted their indefinite detention."

[Dem2theMax]

6. The whole article is priceless.

Too bad it exists because of what happened today.

Go read this one: "Nearly 21 Million Iraqis Not Yet Killed"

http://www.avantnews.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=276

It's Rummy and the * administration to a "T."

[lectrobyte]

14. Yes, you'd think some history buff would point out what happened

to Dr. Guillotin.

[bustarbusto]

15. He's head

of the World Bank now, isn't he?

[lectrobyte]

24. No, he invented the Guillotine during the French

Revolution, and eventually fell victim to his own invention.

[bustarbusto]

25. I was actually

just being facetious, i.e. Paul Wolfowitz = Dr. Guillotine. Tee-hee?

[lectrobyte]

31. Sorry, I need to have my humor receptors restimulated or something.

Dr. Guillotin. Yes, I see the resemblance, physically and spiritually

[bustarbusto]

32. Uncanny

Give Wolfy a smug smirk and a wig and they'd be indistinguishable.

[mom cat]

26. Welcome to DU cheesloaf! I loved your observation!

:hi:

[cheesloaf]

36. Thanks for the welcome

and always glad to observe.

:toast:

[Sapphire Blue]

35. Hah! 4SCJ's, 222 congressmen, 52 senators, Fox News, fundamentalist clergy

And about those SCJ's congressmen, & senators...

...The absent justices will therefore, in accordance with the Constitution, Article III, Subsection 22b, be indefinitely replaced by new justices to be nominated shortly by President Hillary Rodham Clinton. The same goes for the roughly 900 lower court justices who are also inexplicably absent from work here and there around the country. Ditto all the missing senators and congressmen."

http://www.avantnews.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=287

Hmmmm... I'm looking forward to President Clinton's reign :evilgrin:

Great article... it made my day ;)

[ClintonTyree]

3. Personally..........

I'd love to see it happen. It would be a fitting tribute to the Republican insanity that's taken over our country. Politically, it would be a travesty, the same exact travesty it is now with the RepubliCONS in charge. It wouldn't be good for the country and would establish America as a "rogue state" that every other country in the world could legitimately target.

But like I said, on a personal level.....hah, hah, hah, hah :evilgrin:

[Dem2theMax]

4. Did ya read this part -

"a high-ranking, somewhat stocky elderly statesman and quail hunter from the prior administration with a gravely voice and a faulty heart, tragically expired during the early stages of his humanitarian coerced interrogation," Mr. Grisley said."

"humanitarian coerced interrogation." I can almost hear that coming out of the mouth of Tony Snow.

That web site is a riot. Never been there before. Mucho good stuff to read. And boy do I need something funny to read right now.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

7. From your link..... another story worthy of mention, sorry if

it has been hashed before...

http://www.avantnews.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=281
19 Year Old Diebold Technician Wins U.S. Presidency
Temporally realigned by admin on 2006/9/25 10:49:05 (23713 reads)

By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
Washington, D.C., November 5, 2008

In a dramatic development that has come as a surprise to pundits and the public alike, a youthful technician with Diebold, Inc. has emerged as the unlikely winner of the 2008 U.S. Presidential election. The president-elect, 19 year old Billy Pustule of Green, Ohio, reached via SMS at the garage apartment by his mother's house in which he currently resides, said he was "real psyched about being the president" and "had big plans for the inauguration party".

[chat_noir]

8. K&R

K&R = Karma and Retribution

[B Calm]

9. By GOD! Hillary will find the Right-Wing Anthrax Terrorist, even if

we have to torture a few thousand republicans to find him!

[Ganja Ninja]

17. I think we could find out who by torturing just a couple dozen. n/t

[Stockholm]

10. snark of the day

"I can disclose that one illegal enemy combatant, a high-ranking, somewhat stocky elderly statesman and quail hunter from the prior administration with a gravelly voice and a faulty heart, tragically expired during the early stages of his humanitarian coerced interrogation," Mr. Grisley said. "While President Clinton regrets this unfortunate occurrence, rest assured any information successfully extracted prior to his death may have had the potential to be at least marginally useful in our anti-terrorism efforts."


K&R :rofl:

[rock]

11. "One notable terror suspect she had detained was ..."

"none other than former President George W. Bush. He was led away for questioning."

[bustarbusto]

12. You might enjoy this one, too. Same subj., different take

Former President George W. Bush Credited With Saddam Hussein Acquittal

"By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
Baghdad, Iraq, April 22, 2010

Yesterday's surprising acquittal of deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein on all counts has been linked to policies and procedures developed and used by former president George W. Bush, Lionel Thrush, a legal analyst with the Legal Analysis Institute for Legal Analysis, said today.

..."I think the acquittal of Saddam Hussein can be seen as the result of a cascading sequence of unfortunate decisions by the former president and his administration," Mr. Thrush said. "Taken individually, I doubt any one of the Bush administration policies could have gotten Hussein off the hook, but when combined they effectively de-clawed the entire prosecution."

Full article

[tavalon]

38. Is this your site?

Or are you just a fan? Great site!

[bustarbusto]

39. Yep

Call me "Ion" - and thanks!

[zbdent]

13. PR campaign rushed to convince Republicans that their missing friends

have been "raptured" ...

[bigtree]

16. Sen. Clinton was fierce on the Senate floor against the torture bill

they should just leave it at that.

[Ganja Ninja]

18. Wouldn't it be great to hear Rush waterboarded on his own show.

:applause:

[malaise]

22. No

They will have to televise that one live and in HD.:D

[Ravenseye]

19. Why the Republicans aren't concerned about this, is beyond me

This law IS fascism personified. Once a government has the ability to 'dissapear' anyone without saying who, what, where, why, or for how long...you've got a despotic government.

Free press? One commentator critical of the government dissapears, and other editorials quickly become a bit more passive, rather than risk dissapearing themselves.

Free speech? People attend an anti-government rally and are arrested. Nobody hears from them again. Their familys never see them again. Alot fewer people attend the second rally. There is no third.

Would Hilary Clinton do this as President? I highly doubt it. I don't even think good ole' W would either, though my doubts are a bit less. The problem is that this law MAKES those kinds of roundups LEGAL. If something is illegal, governments will still break the law. They do it all the time. Yet those laws prevent them from opening doing things like this, which reduces it's frequency, and helps those abused by the government to obtain some semblance of recourse, usually. These laws though will encourage the use of power. Power unchecked doesn't like to sit in the desk drawer. It likes to be used.

Maybe not today, maybe not tommorow, but soon.

Shame and disgrace on all the Senators and Congressmen/women who voted for this bill. Shame. You've just put one more nail in the coffin of a free United States.

[SmokingJacket]

23. It's almost as if they think they'll be in charge forever.

Huh. I wonder why?

[tbyg52]

28. What's this "almost"....?

And I know you know why. And you know I know you know why..... ;)

[treestar]

37. Exactly. But one thing they never do get is that they are in the

most danger of anyone.

The point of totalitarian control is control, not the ideology. The ideology is used to take control. So you had people sent off to the gulags for insulting Stalin where no one could tell what they had done to insult him. So the point was, that the government decides whether or not you live, the government has control.

Thus if Rummie or Wolfie say the wrong thing to Cheney, though they think what they were saying was fine, Cheney pretends to take it as a threat and they are off to the gulag.

Which is what is so pathetic about freepers. They don't get it. * does not consider them to be part of the "in" group. * looks down his nose at them and WILL lock some of them up to make the point that no one can "control" his own life simply by being "correct." Since the decider decides, there is no way to defend yourself by pleading with King George that you did not mean to insult him.

Morans.

[NewJeffCT]

20. Unfortunately, a more likely headline is:

October 31, 2008

Terrorist Sympathy Rally Forces Bush to Invoke New American Safety Law, Suspend Constitution

Tanks roll across Central Park to protect patriots from group with ties to Axis of Evil

With heavy heart, Chancellor Bush declares the 2008 election is postponed until all those connected with Axis are rounded up and sent to Liberty Camps in Alaska.

[malaise]

21. This is brilliant

and oh so funny :D

[sutz12]

27. The scary part to me is....

that crap like this mobilizes their base. If they suspect this might be true, it works like the old "ban the bible" accusation that helped swiftboat Kerry. The problem is that the freepers think that the Republicans are the "good guys" and wouldn't do something like this, even when all evidence points to the contrary. In a faith based society, factual evidence means nothing.

The freepers are going to read this and think OMG, we can't let that happen. Gotta vote Republican.

Fear, terror, 9/11, Democrats. :scared:

[bustarbusto]

29. I considered going with President Frist

but the end result was altogether too chillingly plausible. But good point, and scary.

[glitch]

33. President Nader would've worked too.

Scare EVERYBODY! :rofl: wonderful website, and much needed humor right now. K & R

[LoZoccolo]

30. My favorite part of this is that we'll be able to make them gay.

Recall that the "gay bomb" was proposed under President Bill Clinton: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_bomb

Hillary could just have the chemical sprayed into the detention camps, and after they have been all gay with each other they would have trouble organizing an insurrection. Plus we'll have gay orgy pics of them to blackmail with if they escape.

[AllyCat]

34. Only 52 Senators were rounded up?

Should be 65. The RepoDem 12 need to go too. And the 35 RepoDems in the House should be added to that list. If "Democrats" want to vote to give the worst President in our nation's history power to do whatever the *&^! he wants, then they are NO better than the Repukes they vote like. They are WORSE than DINOs...they are just plain evil.